Hi jac
That business of repeating your own words back to you is a standard abuser trick. If they're positive words, it's a way of making sure you don't get credit for your own thoughts and helpfulness.
Example: all the meetings I've been in where the men ignored every constructive comment I made, until one of them repeated it back verbatim, whereupon it was acknowledged and discussed further. [No, I did NOT let this go by without pointing it out.]
If they're negative words, it's vindictive - anything you say that stings them, they'll save up and spit back at you, the first chance they get.
Example: I got truly fed up with my mother's shenanigans one day. She was fixated on something extremely trivial that one of the neighbors had said, and couldn't seem to get her mind on to anything else. I suggested that she talk with her psychiatrist about her meds, because she seemed to be having breakthrough symptoms. [Incidentally, she knew perfectly well that obsessive rumination was a major danger signal for her.]
A few weeks later, I came down with bronchitis, and was on an antibiotic for a couple of weeks. I mentioned this, was still coughing, and she turned around and spat at me that I ought to talk with my doctor about my meds, because I seemed to be having breakthrough symptoms. Word for word. With an absolutely venomous look of satisfaction on her face.
This is really interesting, because it disproves any claim they make to having a faulty memory. What abusers have is a selective memory. They turn it on and off like a faucet tap. I think it comes as a standard option with the denial package and the viciousness upgrade.
The other thing I've noticed is that they always have to have the LAST word. They'll fall all over themselves to get it, it's like people who cut you off and nearly cause an accident, just to be first at the stoplight.
If you are feeling wicked, and unlikely to experience significant damage from one of these folks, it's mildly amusing to keep adding a comment to the conversation, and watch them frantically 'topping' you. Until you realize how sick and sad a waste of human potential the whole thing is. Then it stops being funny.
