Hello,
I've struggled with how I should approach my first posting here, so, I'm just going to play-it-by-ear.
The two N's in my life are my mother and my sister (who, last I heard, aren't in communication with each other), with whom I no longer comunicate. Applying the NC (NO CONTACT) method, I continue to heal and become more empowered every day. I highly recommend it.
I was born in 1960, the youngest of three children, and knew from a very early age that my mother was a mean bully whose weapon of choice was emotional and verbal abuse. However, she never shied away from using a belt (or a switch which we often had to retrieve from the outdoors ourselves).
One of my earliest memories is as follows:
My siblings and I (we lived within walking distance from our school) were allowed to go to our school carnival. When we got there, I discovered a dollar in my pocket. I knew that I didn't remember putting the dollar there myself. Yvonne (I no longer refer to her as "mother") had earlier (days I think) given each of us a dollar. Anyway, I wound up spending my dollar. As you can imagine, I got quite a whipping when I got home. Yvonne screamed at me and demanded to know how the dollar got in my pocket, and I kept telling her that I had found it there. What had I spent the dollar on? A flower vase for Yvonne. It made no difference to her. Recently (I've been aware of and researching NPD since I entered college in 2001) I've put two and two together and realize that she planted the dollar in my pocket so that she could exercise her use of me as her "chosen scapegoat".
On Mother's Day 1990, having no knowledge or understanding of spychological disorders, I knew that in order to even hope to have any kind of "normal", peaceful, positively productive life that I would have to sever all ties with her. I have never regretted it.
I'm looking forward to communicating with you all because (as so very many of you already know), most people either don't believe me, or don't want to hear about it because, in my opinion, they can't conceive of a "mother" treating her children that way because their mother is, or was, "normal".
Dr. Grossman, thank you for this "place" where we survivors can find and exercise our voice.
Harmony
