Author Topic: Passing through  (Read 2843 times)

phoenix

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Passing through
« on: February 20, 2004, 01:37:13 AM »
bye

Karin guest

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Passing through
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2004, 03:07:48 AM »
I wish you all the best Phoenix and thank you for letting me share a part of your life. I think you will be OK.
Love and a big hug from Karin.

Portia

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Passing through
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2004, 06:50:33 AM »
“Passing through, passing through, Sometimes happy sometimes blue, Glad that I ran in to you!”
Now you’ve got me singing Leonard Cohen: bad enough, but you haven’t heard my voice (dogs cover their ears I promise you).
I hope you’re going because you want to? If so, good luck. Get that voice back soon. P

Anonymous

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Passing through
« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2004, 12:44:57 PM »
Happy Trails Phoenix!

So happy you are moving towards your dreams vs. running away from troubles.  Good luck to you on country roads.  

Hugs, Seeker

Anonymous

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Passing through
« Reply #4 on: February 20, 2004, 12:46:03 PM »
Happy Trails Phoenix!

So happy you are moving towards your dreams.  Good luck to you on country roads.  

Hugs, Seeker

CC

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Passing through
« Reply #5 on: February 20, 2004, 06:39:48 PM »
Well put, jacmac.  Phoenix you probably overloaded yourself with healing.  You need a break - I've done this.  You'll do great, it shows progress.  Your brain is signalling you... "enough for now, now go out an experience new things with what you've learned".  That is the calm you are feeling.  You can come back whenever you want.  God Bless you

I am not typically a new-ager, but thoughts of Zen come to mind....

Warmth and hugs, CC
CC - 'If it sucks longer than an hour, get rid of it!'

Nic

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Hi
« Reply #6 on: February 20, 2004, 07:43:11 PM »
Hi Phoenix,
did I feel your leaving coming or what?!..believe it or not just last night I felt compelled to read your posts since you've been back.  I didn't get to read all of them but enough to understand and become acquainted with what you've been through.
When you say you've been searching all your life so far to understand or know if something is wrong with you, I understood immdediately what you meant.
  There is something wrong with all of us here because wrong was done to us...the Ns in our lives, especially N parents, have robbed us of the direction and security we needed as children to insure we would be stable and well adjusted adults.
 Our Nparents failed miserably at parenting, they will never admit to this..they will hide behind noble phrases such as: We did the best we could... you were a difficult child..something was always wrong with you and we couldn't figure you out..and the like.  These are just the mirroring of their inadequacies and their projecting their own disinterest , unaccountability and irresponsibilities onto us.  WE, their children have this to deal with as an inheritance.  We are the brave ones seeking help, we are the ones who want a better life..WE ARE THE ONES WILLING TO FIX THINGS!  They were too selfish and self-absorbed and dare I say LAZY to face and reckon with their own short-comings. They took the easy way out and blamed and picked on people ( us, children) not of their own size.
Please, please be careful in your new life not to ever waste time thinking there is something wrong with you.  If you must,at least use the past tense.  There was something wrong with me and I've fixed it and I will be vigilant to use what i've learned about myself and the abusers in my life to make sure it will not  happen again.
Living with Nparents and Ns is horrific, it is our own private holocaust.  We must keep that memory alive without living out the memory in our day to day lives. A difficult task indeed, but not impossible.
Phoenix, my parents are doing the same thing to me as your dad is doing to you. They are controlling me with money, money that is rightly mine..in their N delusion and much like your N dad, they have decided that, like you, I can't handle money...On looking closer at that, i've identified a pattern.  This is not a recent decision of theirs, it is a lifelong pattern of obsessing with money.  Again a projection of their own fear of being poor onto the children.  They ( my parents) have hoarded their money to the same degree they have hoarded their affection and love for anything other than themselves.  A huge, lifelong smoke-screen designed to hide who they really are whilst projecting their self-hate onto their children.
I agree with you that at one point we have to step away from healing..or rather live our healing, turn it into an experiential occurance.  Treat ourselves to a day to day life without too much introspection.  Our inside must go for a walk outside.
I hope that while you are taking your spirit outside, you will meet fantastic people, that you will enjoy sunrises and sunsets, joys and disappointments as I believe God intended all of us to.  Without the fear, ever present and looming and closely connected to your abusive past. But with the peace of mind you've earned.
Walk out, walk about and be happy and proud of youself for having broken the silence, for having attacked the cancer that is destructive Narcissistic Parenting.  You haven't broken out of jail, you've paid your dues and then some, you've earned your freedom... there is nowhere to go but ahead.
May God shower you with satisfaction and peace.
Much love Nic :)
P.S> hope you get your money...i'll pray for that and perhaps you can pray i'll get mine!
All truth passes through 3 stages
First it is ridiculed, second, it is violently opposed,third,it is accepted as being self evident
-Arthur Schopenhauer