Author Topic: I Feel Voiceless. You?  (Read 2388 times)

penelope

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I Feel Voiceless. You?
« on: October 08, 2006, 01:47:40 AM »
I feel angry, resentful, I feel defective, stripped of "normality" (whatever that is), I feel alone, I feel tired, I feel like I'm on the verge of giving up.  I feel lost, sad, lonely, alone, swallowed up, caught in my past, emotional, wounded, I feel human I guess.

There, I've owned my feelings of voicelessness, without blaming my N parents, without saying "they made me feel..." 

I think this is truly the first step toward healing for me and that is having power over my feelings of powerlessness.  Cause if I continue to give that power to my abusers, I will always Be voiceless.

bean


Hopalong

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Re: I Feel Voiceless. You?
« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2006, 02:09:05 AM »
BRAVE.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((PB)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

You're not alone, dear PB.
Is it the upcoming confrontation with boss?

You a fine human being, Penelope Bean.
This is a dark night for you, I am so sorry.

What comfort can I give?

love,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

moonlight52

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Re: I Feel Voiceless. You?
« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2006, 02:18:07 AM »
((((((((((((((((((((((Pbean)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Feelings are just feelings and they are ok to have whatever they are.
You understand  so such and can express yourself so well.

I am just sort of goofy .Good thing I like goofy and there must be a use for being goofy or Walt would not have built Disneyland.
I am with ya all except the defective thing You are not that at all.

Don't give up.You will be fine.Its hard to let go of blaming n parents .

Yes yes yes indeed your feelings are yours and we can be free from that childhood stuff .
Thats hard to do I am 50 something and it has taken me a long time and still I work on it everyday.

so much love to Healing (((((((((((((((((((((((((Pbean)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Moon

« Last Edit: October 08, 2006, 03:09:12 AM by moonlight52 »

WRITE

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Re: I Feel Voiceless. You?
« Reply #3 on: October 08, 2006, 02:23:56 AM »
oh Bean you've given me so much good advice over the years, there's got to be a pretty strong voice in there somewhere
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I've always loved this hymn, especially the last two lines. Everyone laughed when we had it at our wedding because of the first two though!

Dear Lord and Father of mankind,
Forgive our foolish ways;
Reclothe us in our rightful mind,
In purer lives Thy service find,
In deeper reverence, praise.

In simple trust like theirs who heard,
Beside the Syrian sea,
The gracious calling of the Lord,
Let us, like them, without a word,
Rise up and follow Thee.

O Sabbath rest by Galilee,
O calm of hills above,
Where Jesus knelt to share with Thee
The silence of eternity,
Interpreted by love!

With that deep hush subduing all
Our words and works that drown
The tender whisper of Thy call,
As noiseless let Thy blessing fall
As fell Thy manna down.

Drop Thy still dews of quietness,
Till all our strivings cease;
Take from our souls the strain and stress,
And let our ordered lives confess
The beauty of Thy peace.

Breathe through the heats of our desire
Thy coolness and Thy balm;
Let sense be dumb, let flesh retire;
Speak through the earthquake, wind, and fire,
O still, small voice of calm.


Certain Hope wrote something lovely to me about grace and manna earlier, going to go find it, meant to say thanks.

Don't worry any more tonight bean, tomorrow's another day.

moonlight52

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Re: I Feel Voiceless. You?
« Reply #4 on: October 08, 2006, 02:25:26 AM »
Pbean            

That n boss does not define you His trip is his trip.

                      
Hope you are feeling a lot better very soon.

                                                                    
I am sorry your having a difficult time.

love to you

moon



                                        

Plucky

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Re: I Feel Voiceless. You?
« Reply #5 on: October 09, 2006, 02:10:20 AM »
Hi there PBean,
I was busy over there on the other thread giving you macho advice while you're over here feeling your pain through and through.  I am sorry.  I hope I am not pushing you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. 

I don't have anything good to say.  This is my blind spot.  I just want to envelope you in a warm soft place to rest and let go.  Monday morning must be awful, huh?

Plucky

penelope

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Re: I Feel Voiceless. You?
« Reply #6 on: October 09, 2006, 09:28:16 PM »
hi plucky and all,

thank you for your kind words.  They've given me warmth while I've felt chilled.

I just had a growth spurt over the weekend, I guess.  B/f and I went to my T on Sat.  She was enlightening.  I realized a few things I am still doing (my own N voiceless tendencies still seep through) that I need to work on. 

I felt all this overwhelmingly, but it has to do with me, not my boss.  I guess I'm OK now.  The weekends tend to be hard, but after I felt all this voicelessness, I felt better, cause i let myself.  I accepted I'm human and who I am.  Cause that's all I can be.

bean

Certain Hope

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Re: I Feel Voiceless. You?
« Reply #7 on: October 09, 2006, 09:32:31 PM »
((((((((((((Pb))))))))))))) To me, your voice is lovely.

I hope you rest well.

Blessings,
Hope

penelope

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Re: I Feel Voiceless. You?
« Reply #8 on: October 09, 2006, 09:40:32 PM »
thank you hope

shrimp for dinner...you?   8)

seasons

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Re: I Feel Voiceless. You?
« Reply #9 on: October 11, 2006, 10:57:17 AM »
Hi Bean,

Your voice is powerful, human and full of strength.


((seasons))
"Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak Kindly. Leave the Rest to God."
Maya Angelou