Hi Kelly
I think you are handling this well! This is something I dread, my daughter is 13 and my son is 17 so I know the day is coming .
I have been so over protective with my kids as far as supervision goes I feel like I am stifling their growth not good I know... I'm working on it. We've had a lot to protect them from outside the normal.
My d is 13 too, and at present if anything is more sheltered than the kids around her, because of being home schooled. I too can be overprotective, but judged against what?

The hormones are there, but at present are directed in what I regard as the right direction for a 13 year old - towards screen and tv actors, who she idolises, and writes to and collects pictures of.
I have talked to her about sex, and she hates it (talking about it!). I tell her that if she wants to be sexually active, then she must use protection, meaning a condom, to protect against pregnancy and stds. I also say that if I find that she is active, or, God forbid, falls pregnant, I will respect and support her, but kill the boy!!!

The UK has a very high incidence of teenage pregnancy, and looking at the kids around, I can see why. Girls of my daughter's age are highly sexualised, in terms of their appearance and behaviour, and the mothers collude in this; the girl next door is the same age as my d, and her mother takes her to have her eyebrows waxed. What is that all about??????

The mother says it is a treat for her, to raise her self confidence, but says at the same time that her eye brows look really bad, and meet in the middle. I have known this girl for years, and had never noticed such a thing.
The only other thing to say is that I also think you are doing well, Kelly. You have good communication with your d, and she is being honest with you. Maybe also it might be worth saying that teens do not always know as much as they think they do, and when they say they have had sex, they might mean something very different from what we would mean. And they might well tell other kids they are doing it, so as not to look childish. Just like I told the girls at school I had a boyfriend, when I didn't.