Author Topic: Why be 'Guest'?  (Read 11246 times)

Karin

  • Guest
Why be 'Guest'?
« Reply #15 on: February 25, 2004, 05:01:06 AM »
If you are more comfortable posting as Guest, Guest, then that's what you should do. I would also take no part in 'secret criticisms' via PM or to the 'management'. Does this happen?
My problems with the 'Guest' name is that I'm not sure how many Guests there are and therefore I'm unsure which one is which. Maybe one day you will feel more comfortable and will be able to open yourself up a little. For my part, I have nothing to hide from the world!

Anonymous

  • Guest
Why be 'Guest'?
« Reply #16 on: February 26, 2004, 05:36:28 PM »
Lots of shouting down the guests happening here. Lots of wizard of oz characters egging each other on, and I wonder who's really at the other side of their screens. So much paranoia about guests. Why I post as guest is because my N found I'd been posting to this site and recognised me in my posts and that has made me very uncomfortable because I've wanted to get so far away from the criticisms. So I now come in as guest and I think there are probably lots of other valid reasons too why people post as guest.  Railing at us with a whole lot of paranoid accusations and false assumptions that  are to intimidate or get rid of guest is so wizard of oz. I have nothing to hide from the world either but I just want to protect myself from the N who once again has invaded my privacy. And N isn't going to stop me from contributing if I think I have something worth saying.

guest

Anonymous

  • Guest
Why be 'Guest'?
« Reply #17 on: February 26, 2004, 06:58:59 PM »
Why I post as guest is because my N found I'd been posting to this site and recognised me in my posts and that has made me very uncomfortable because I've wanted to get so far away from the criticisms. So I now come in as guest and I think there are probably lots of other valid reasons too why people post as guest.

I have nothing to hide from the world either



Well said, guest.   I was thinking the exact same.  There are
many valid reasons for posting as "guest" at times, that have absolutely nothing to do with "hiding something".   I was disappointed to read that very broad assumption of others, and what seemed like a negative tone.

Karin guest

  • Guest
Why be 'Guest'?
« Reply #18 on: February 26, 2004, 07:04:05 PM »
Guest, I didn't mean to offend you and I'm sorry if I did. I just wanted to let you know that it's hard for us to give you feedback and help if we don't have a way of indentifying you from all the other 'Guests'. If you only need to express yourself ie. you're not actually seeking a response, then fine. You say that your N has already recognised you in your posts, won't he still be able to under your Guest name? I can understand why having your N invade your privacy here has made you retreat. But that's what they do, they won't let you have your own voice. That's why this board is here, to have your voice heard and to own it as well. It does take courage to stand up to Ns.
I wish you the best.
Karin.

Anonymous

  • Guest
Why be 'Guest'?
« Reply #19 on: February 26, 2004, 07:48:18 PM »
Karin he recognised my posts and learned my board name and so was able to call up and read all my posts about him. He's an N so of course he loved this reading about himself. He loved reading all the responses too. And got an understanding about my new strategies I'm putting in place to combat his control. And he rubbished so much of it. His only interest really seems to be if he can read about himself, typically N. I don't think I'll refer too much about him here in future but at the same time now he knows I don't post under any name I think he's lost interest because he can't read about himself and that seemed to be all he was interested in. He wasn't interested in any post that he wasn't the centre of. Rubbish was his reponse to heartbreaking stories of what N's have done to others and he said he wasn't interested, it's all rubbish. I've got a lot out of the certain contributors here and also from my own contributing here and have come along way, I now just want to be able to offer my perspective with the new babies coming here and some of teh more sensitive ones like you, if I think I have something of value to add that I think may have not been addressed. That's all. And if I perceive a new baby is being bashed about by some of the insensitive N oldies I want to speak up about that too. I don't want another Avery situation. Did anyone ever wonder what happened to Avery. She had been suicidal and depressed just before coming here and openly admitted her fragile state of mind. Come into my parlour said the spider to the fly. The N oldies were so comforting and encouraging till she got her voice and expressed a concern which was valid to her. And even that wasn't about herself but somebody else being hurt. She was always posting in a gentle encouraging way and look what happened. Do you remember? I hope she's okay and not gone back into depression or worse. And by the silence from the brutes who silenced her I doubt that they've given her or their bullying a second thought, beacause they still do it. Maybe she now posts as guest too, and would you blame her.

guest

Anonymous

  • Guest
Why be 'Guest'?
« Reply #20 on: February 27, 2004, 02:00:04 AM »
The reference to 'us and you' was telling. I don't think that my words of encouragment to someone in pain about the N in their life are received less because I don't have a handle, I sometimes think it's the opposite, because I'm not trying to impress anybody which I sometimes feel is the case, wrongly maybe, but it's what I sometimes think with some of the interesting characters here.
And as far as a need to express myself, yes that's right, when I read someones pain I want to let them know that I hear them and they're not alone and maybe offer some insight as guest. How you said it made it sound like guests only ever wish to express themselves without commitment or interest in anybody else. For me personally that's not true, I reply to exhort or encourage with no strings attached because I've been where so many of these posters have been.

That's why this board is here, to have your voice heard and to own it as well.
Karin.[/quote]

I own my voice so I don't agree with the myth that goes around here that suggests that coming on as guest you're not owning your own voice. I feel like you're saying that my voice isn't my own as guest. I don't have an identity crisis by being anonymous. I find most coments from guests to be quite compassionate and encouraging actually. And my responses as guest or whoever would only ever be to encourage so I see it as my choice 100%. I don't see why this bothers people so. This is my voice and I know who I am and what my motives are. I have had enough people in my life telling me how to express myself and how to be. I'm guest and comfortable with it. If you decide not to read me or like me that's fine, I'm probably not here for you. There are much more important issues on this board to attend, and people in real pain than to spend any more time on this 'guest bashing'. But I wanted to add my 2 cents worth.


Guest

Anonymous

  • Guest
Why be 'Guest'?
« Reply #21 on: February 27, 2004, 02:02:19 AM »
I'm sorry Karin the above I was replying to you and I didn't say Hi, so Hi Karin

Anonymous

  • Guest
Why be 'Guest'?
« Reply #22 on: February 27, 2004, 03:44:59 AM »
To Guess(t)

Your style is so clear to me, and I reckon I've a fair idea who you are,  you so often throw the word arrogant around when referring to others but have never been able to look at your own reflection in the mirror in this regard and see you are marinated in arrogance from head to toe. This thread needed to be opened up because much of what 'guests' say is heard and appreciated by the people they respond to and often acknowledged or haven't you noticed. Why doesn't that surprise me. You're too bitter and resentful an dried up emotionally up to notice anything other than your own needs. A bit of IQ in there,a whole load of cunning and manipulation and not much else. I imagine you are one lonely SOB. And you talk about guests making it impossible for you to develop a real relationship with. Are you insane. This is the net. When did you last have a picnic or go shopping with one of your real relationships from here. You're putting on such a face but occasionally you slip up. And so often when you're having fun ridiculing and demeaning other posters, and I know your style so well, the same groupies follow behind and get in on the act because they get sucked in by your superficial charisma and believe whatever lines you make up. And I read them laughing at the criticisms that you make-up which are meant to hurt others and they seem to loose their awareness of why they're laughing at people or more importantly why they're really here. I thought it was to  help and encourage and support along the way. Because your miserable life is so lonely, and these abstract relationships are the only real relationships that you have, and because you are so nasty and demanding, you are threatened, THREATENED simply by the fact that you don't have someones name. It's that important to you. This is your world, isn't it. I'm staggered by how trivial an issue this is and how transparent you are. If you had ONE REAL relationship, you'd know that what you have here WITH ANYONE IS NOT A REAL RELATIONSHIP. Its a forum for the voiceless, the wounded and we share experiences and we grow and hopefully we recover by getting encouragement from one another, and  then even better we get a life and move on with real people to hold and hug. Nowhere have I read that this is meant to be a forum for dissemblers and nasties like you. Who here do you trust enough to give your address to and your real name and your phone number? Is there one such person here who you have done this with? Will you be going on holidays with person?So much for a real relationship theory. These are abstract relationship, but I think you already know that and just got on with the real relationship crap as a sophist would. It's just a game to you and when you insult somebody it's also a game, it's like score one for you. What you say here is total nonsense. There was absolutely nothing arrogant about the opening statement, it was in my opinion a valid brief, unlike mine, very acceptable position and well done guest for opening this thread. Can't wait to read what your groupies have to say, haven't got to them yet but I'm sure it'll be just as cruel and noxious and critical and harsh and selfish and unforgiving and missing the purpose of being here as yours was. I've got one a bit of advice for you. What the world needs now is Love. What the posters on this board need is love and if you don't have any inside you to give then why are you here. If you're here to get love even if abstract disconnected love is the only type of love you can access at the moment then that's fine, learn to get love here. Without being a put-down smart-ass. You've got a the gift of the gab, use it lovingly, you'll get love back.  I hope your not so attached to the rush of the verbal joust that it's like a drug to you. Be honest and open about your needs without trying to discredit and destroys others and always putting others down. You don't need to be nasty to get attention which is what you always do. And you got my attention once again and I sure recognise you whole dance by now. You should learn to hold your peace and give love. You need to learn to be nice or your gonna be an even lonelier person in 10yrs time because people from here are gonna move on and get healthy and get lives. Where do you want to be then?

Guest

Anonymous

  • Guest
Why be 'Guest'?
« Reply #23 on: February 27, 2004, 11:10:06 AM »
:!:

Anonymous

  • Guest
I am the guest who
« Reply #24 on: February 27, 2004, 03:34:34 PM »
started the original thread, I think it's been very interesting to discuss.
I am definitely more open as guest when I don't have to construct a consistent identity- so much has happened in the last year I know I am often inconsistent and going back and forth. I'm still adapting.
I'm just interested what I have to learn ( or contribute ) at this stage.
I do have several friends in real life who were originally internet contacts!
But few of my friends understand narcissism as people here would, and some of the things I've said here I wouldn't tell anyone I wasn't sure would understand it and empathize.

I believe in karma too Seeker, re post for group hug. Also that we can grow because of as well as despite these trials and traumas.

Anastasia

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 177
Why be 'Guest'?
« Reply #25 on: March 06, 2004, 11:10:36 PM »
Just giving my vote in the guest item:  I have a heck of a time relating to a Guest.  And when I write to a guest I never know if it is the guest I wrote to who posts back to me--or some other guest posting.  Just too confusing.
Me, personally, I almost never respond to anyone who signs on as Guest.  Somehow it just lacks connection.  Maybe it is just me but I have a hard time with it.
 :?