Author Topic: Money Talk  (Read 2193 times)

Hopalong

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Money Talk
« on: October 28, 2006, 10:49:15 PM »
I'm so sleepy I won't have much to offer on this thread right off the bat...so it may seem silly to start it. But it occurs to me that we've built enough trust here to speak quite frankly about Social Taboo #1 (sex), so many people might also have a need to talk about Social Taboo #2 (money).

It can be a struggle. Most obviously if you're poor, unemployed, unable to work, and have few resources. I would love for people to feel safe and unashamed about sharing those worries here. Likewise, I know well-off people who are in some other way made unhappy by their relationship to their money. On balance, nobody's going to think it's not nicer not to be afraid.

Anybody have money issues they'd like support with?
(For me, for now, my fear has abated. If the disability status is denied I'll be back there again.)

Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

WRITE

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Re: Money Talk
« Reply #1 on: October 29, 2006, 07:36:24 AM »
I finally caught up in my Simple Abundance book ( even got ahead a little! ) and the topic for this week was money there.

She believes in giving as a source of receiving- 10 % of everything you earn to church or charity.

I have to say I do too, time and again what I have given away comes back and even cynical exN does it too.

There's a flow of energy in this universe!

In terms of practical solutions to earning money there's often psychology to overcome.

If you're recovering from trauma or have really low confidence or are surrounded by negative people sapping your strength and sense of purpose- these are the things to address first.

And sometimes things have to be done in stages.

I have no doubt that my main career is a writer, a writer of popular fiction. But I feel better about it now I am a musician and not struggling to publish and be paid for it whilst I am not ready. I can write and hone my craft and feel good about it. When I was churning out articles it wasn't fulfilling or profitable and my favourite thing quickly became a difficult chore.

And back to the subject of giving: I've had three careers to pay the bills and each one came as a result of volunteering. My current work happened when I found myself in a foreign country, dependent on my ex who was being hostile, my marriage broke down and so did my mental health. And I volunteered at an alzheimer community as a pianist, quickly realising there was a much more therapeutic role for me there. I was offered a job when I got a work permit, and again it didn't work- low pay and the conditions shifted a gear to unacceptable. I quit and set up on my own, I've been self-employed for over a year now and the money keeps flowing in.

Not riches you understand! When we ask for G_d or the universe or however people think of it to sustain us, we only get what we need.

And we need much less than we tell ourselves we do in this materialistic culture.

I had to cancel all my jobs this week, because of laryngitis. Maybe the voice strain was because I worked too hard the month before- all month I heard a little voice inside me saying slow down, and I fought it and worked twice as hard. I know why- I just filed for divorce and it was in anticipation of my ex being difficult ( which he was )

But that's not trust is it- trust in myself, trust in G_d, trust that things will work out....

Any anxiety I felt was brushed aside when my clients not only told me very lovingly to go take care of myself, they also said I could have extra work next month if I needed it, and I received 2 other calls for new places.

I appreciate this way of thinking may look strange and idealistic, but give, give, give and it all comes back!

Sarah Breathnach says she has tested types of giving: give time and it is time you receive more of, give goods and you get gifts, give money and income opportunities increase.

I have noticed some people are stingy with information, with any kind of giving. They are worried someone else might benefit from stuff they 'learned the hard way'. But every time we help someone it's like a flow opens up in life- we gave freely, we'll receive freely.

'Try it' Sarah says. And Write!

We are living in needless fear.

Good thread Hops- and I am betting whatever financial issue someone has here someone else will see and offer a solution.

Hopalong

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Re: Money Talk
« Reply #2 on: October 29, 2006, 10:26:50 AM »
It is wonderful, Write, that paying work came out of you volunteering to do something your heart liked doing anyway. Who pays you? The inidivdual clients or the nursing home? Do you operate as a Music Therapist?

It sounds just wonderful. Right Livelihood.

Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Portia

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Re: Money Talk
« Reply #3 on: October 29, 2006, 11:50:39 AM »
Hi Hops

Money or sex? Want to know my money fantasies? 8) They're dire. No seriously, I don't have any.

It's just a tool to me (money that is). Happy to talk about any aspect of it. i do internet banking! But issues? Not sure I have any, unless I run out, then it will be an issue of not having any.

Generally, I don't spend what i don't have, ever. Only one car and the house were loans, otherwise, I eat beans and don't buy a darn thing if I don't need it or can't afford it. :D

WRITE

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Re: Money Talk
« Reply #4 on: October 29, 2006, 12:20:18 PM »
Who pays you? The inidivdual clients or the nursing home? Do you operate as a Music Therapist?

most of my pay comes from the activities budgets of nursing homes. I am still undecided as to whether to take a music therapy degree, I could charge more then but I wouldn't get as much work anyway because the budgets are only allocated so much to each person coming in. They like to have several people going different days, though a couple of my places they like me there more as time has gone on.

What I am good at is engaging the patients and getting them to perform and it really is the most rewarding thing to have someone there unresponsive or behaving what some people see as strangely ( it's perfectly normal in the context of their brain injury ) and have the music work its magic and stimulate a conversation or song or enjoyment.

Activity directors tell me not everyone can engage the whole group like this, and some of my groups are 60-80 people, but occasionally I do one-to-one work too.

I am convinced it's because I know what it's like to have a mental impairment, and I am unafraid and have different expectations so the clients relax and sense that I am completely open to them. Their families and carers do too when they see the rewards of re-connecting and can put aside their grief or frustration, in fact my groups are always a mix of staff, family members and patients after I've been a few times.

So yes, it is right livelihood in terms of adapting things and people I love and value to a source of income.

I invoice people as a freelance writer and musician though- I don't want to upset any music therapists out there, professional people are protective of their status they have worked and attained  :)

Stormchild

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Re: Money Talk
« Reply #5 on: October 29, 2006, 12:52:38 PM »
I've lived so precariously all my life - so dependent, always, on the good will of employers who have none - that I fear job loss almost as much as I fear losing my animals [another thread].

I have noticed, though, that this fear was most overwhelming when I was working in at-will situations for large corrupt corporate entities, especially because most of them hired me to play the role of 'paid conscience', which is a widowmaker job [widowmakers are jobs that are foredoomed to failure because they are set up to fail, directly or indirectly. Being a corrupt organization's paid conscience is doomed before it starts.]

Now I work in a somewhat less precarious situation, with at least some union protection and legal insurance, so I'm less concerned about wrongful or capricious dismissal. But: I am just over 50, and human, and deliberately overloaded, so I occasionally make mistakes or can't get to everything demanded of me as fast as it is demanded; and the sector in which I work is starting to look VERY tempting to outsourcers and those who pimp for them; plus my age makes me ripe for buyouts / layoffs/ etc.

This is why I got interested in Barbara Ehrenreich's writing about our economy [other threads].

Honestly, I hope to last long enough where I am to retire and have a decent pension, or to get my feet under me and start something stable on my own; but given the present economic climate, and the prevailing economic philosophy - which is that most of us are prey, frankly - I have to make contingency plans that assume I'll be laid off and not find other income, and will use up my savings before I can get established as sole proprietor of my own concern.

This worries me [understatement] but not as much as the fear of being fired and blackballed for the heinous crime of actually doing my job in a corporation used to worry me. I deal with it by trying to minimize my debt and expenses, and save as much as I can whenever circumstances allow me to save...

Here's an analysis of different forms of capitalism from someone who has clearly been there:
http://crasscommercial.com/page.html?a=29

and an article from a political web site, analyzing James K. Galbraith's writings on predatory capitalism:
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/node/1561/print

and articles by Galbraith:

http://www.thenation.com/doc/20060417/forum/4

http://www.motherjones.com/commentary/columns/2006/05/predator_state.html

and yes, he is the late John Kenneth Galbraith's [blessed be he, peace be upon him] son.
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October

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Re: Money Talk
« Reply #6 on: October 29, 2006, 01:02:39 PM »

Anybody have money issues they'd like support with?


Money is a difficult one.  When I worked I used to earn good money, but never felt safe spending it all, so used to put it away for a rainy day.  Then it rained, and I had money to fall back on.  However, six years of constant drizzle later, and the savings have all gone, and from time to time it does get difficult.  My yb helps out, and is very generous when I ask.  The problem is, I can't ask until things are really bad, so whatever he gives is then only enough to save us from disaster, never enough to make any of us comfortable.

However, I have cut and cut our outgoings as far as they can be cut, without actually losing the car (well, I did try to manage without one, but it meant even less of a life than with one, so cashed in my last savings plan and bought a new, old one, two years ago, along with a new washing machine, which I also needed.  A couple of months of handwashing convinced me of that one, too.)

My d finds it difficult to have such a low income.  Even though she is protected from it to some extent, it does have an impact.  No holidays, very few days out, and when we do go out limited spending money.  But on the whole she is dealing with it very well, I think, and I am not sorry that she is having a different upbringing from that of her friends, for whom money means nothing.  In terms of our society as a whole, many young people are vastly in debt, and I think she is already learning strategies which will protect her from that trap.  I pay a certain amount into a bank account each month for her, and her dad adds a bit to it as well, and she has a cashcard to use, but cannot go overdrawn.  Sometimes she borrows from me, but I make sure she pays it all back, and she finds that really difficult, because it takes a huge amount out of her next month's money, so she is learning that it is better to have reserves in the bank, and afford something before you buy, than have to repay after you have it.

Other than that, I am with Portia, and if I haven't got the money I will do without, and eat beans.  Or, in my case, soup and bread.   :lol:

moonlight52

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Re: Money Talk
« Reply #7 on: October 29, 2006, 02:38:40 PM »
Hi All ,

I worked for most of my life as a hairdresser .Then I got to a point after my little one was born(I was 39)I could not stand on my feet that long anymore.
I did bob Dylan's mom's hair for a while Bea Zimmerman I loved Bobby before I meet her almost met him.The creative world of beauty and doing models hair was fun.
Then after my little one was born I worked at my husband business we started it from nothing and worked before sunraise to way after dark the first five years were hard work and I am proud of the work done .I now work from home helping out with sales and the website.

The problems I had with money was like a gambling habit but I spent money when on a hyper manic state and this did not stop until I was diagnosed and
Took meds as I have said before .This is where my guilt and shame still lives .But I will say this understanding of my family and the bipolar illness has helped to
put right or in balance so much regarding these issues.

I could have easily lost my marriage and we have no savings because of me and yet my children love me and forgive me this is where I feel unworthy.
What is success no success like failure I have been told by the kindest person I know a successful life is measure by how much you love and how that love is returned and thats what matters most.

moonlight
« Last Edit: October 30, 2006, 01:55:09 PM by moonlight »

moonlight52

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Re: Money Talk
« Reply #8 on: October 29, 2006, 02:43:32 PM »
P.S. MR Moon has come to understand and forgive It was so hard ..............
m

Hopalong

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Re: Money Talk
« Reply #9 on: October 29, 2006, 06:33:31 PM »
Aww, Moon. This isn't true:

Quote
we have no savings because of me


This is true:

We have no savings because of illness in the family

This is truest yet:

Quote
a successful life is measure by how much you love and how that love is returned and thats what matters most.

You are a roaring success, Moon. And I believe your good business is going to boom.

We are lucky that you and Mr. Moon are selling things that help people "green" their lives.
Bless your heads!

love,
Hops


"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

moonlight52

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Re: Money Talk
« Reply #10 on: October 30, 2006, 12:24:39 PM »
Hops , Your answer is so supportive thank you very much Yeah I do feel bad about this aspect of bipolar .It's so weird that there is a gift within this illness the intensity of emotion when it is channelled correctly can be used like a beam of light to shower love where directed .But really all here are doing this.Yes and another yes I do I need to forgive self for an illness???????????????

When the understanding came at this point I have done everything possible to right my behavior,so what would be the purpose of standing in guilt or shame?
The small business we have does support the people that work with us and we are a happy team .The aging hippies and the youngsters and we do have great
holiday party's ........................... :D

Thanks Hops

moon
« Last Edit: October 30, 2006, 12:35:31 PM by moonlight »