Why we do what we do, is it engrained or do we have a choice?

[hounded]

I ask this because I am beginning to see the patterns of my behavior and the patterns of my wife's behavior. My last therapist utilized external therapy conditioning vs. choice therapy (internal diagnostics). The options I put up above are the best I can think of, but realize that they may be others. If, I have left out yours - I apologize.

Thanks for participating.

hounded

[Hopalong]

Hi Hounded,

It's too black and white for me.
I need "sometimes" answers included...

thanks,
Hops

[hounded]

Sorry Hops,

I added some "sometimes" but I doubt they will suffice. The real question is to identify if you can or can't. WE are so programmed to make others provide our happiness (through control, withdrawl, manipulation, guilt, etc.), not looking internally for postive changes that will provide that happinees for us.

hounded

[Hopalong]

Well put.
At my work we had a scale called "The Often Scale". We'd pose the question, and the patient would be asked to answer:

Never
Occasionally (i'm not sure about this one)
Sometimes
Frequently
Often
Always

And the survey would make it percentages. You might look at www.surveymonkey.com.

thanks for this!
Hops