Thank you Karin, guest.
This board helps me so much. Keeps bringing me back to reality.
My children are 19 and 16. The 19 year old is away at college. The 16 year old is at home.
My N husband, was good with the kids when they were young. He didn't voluntarily do many things with them, but he did attend school functions. He was around the house on weekends doing yard work, etc. He loves sports and both kids played basketball. He was intensely involved in their basketball playing. With my older child, a son, he crossed some lines. His intense focus bordered on verbal abuse.... and this is one thing that I have deep regrets about.
The middle years were difficult... I recognize your situation. He wanted to be able to move them around like pawns, have them give him ultimate respect.
But now they have set boundries in their own ways. They all get along. But I worry quite a bit how much of his N behavior, and how much of my "going along" behavior will end up in my kids. As they get older I see bits of him appear in stronger ways in my children.
Being able to show a positive example to my kids is the primary reason I am leaving this relationship.
