I would like to offer two anecdotes from my life today, on the subject of assertion and personal boundaries:
The Garden Club on the Elevator
The Garden Club ladies were taking down the Christmas trees in the library. I had pressed the elevator button and was waiting calmly. A minute or two later, the ladies came to the elevator, weighed down with ornaments and boxes, and the leader said, "Are you waiting for the elevator?" in an officious tone. The vibes were that she wanted to commandeer the elevator.
I said, "Yes."
"Have you pressed the button?" she pursued, peering around me to the elevator button.
"Yes, I pressed the button, and I did it all by my lonesome, too!" I said. (OK, sarcasm, not always the highest choice, but better than total silence in the face of subtle bullying.)
As we all got in, I took charge by saying, "I'll hold the door for you all, I'll press the DOOR OPEN button," and I did so.
We were all inside with the boxes and ornaments, a relatively tight fit, but doable. I waited politely for them to press the button for their floor, then I pressed the button for mine.
"What floor are you going to, dear?" asked the Garden Club leader, in a saccharine tone.
"I'm going to 1, but I've pressed it already, and I did it all by my lonesome," I said.
The Poetry of Expression
I was writing poetry in the library's reading room, a large, attractive space. I was deeply concentrating on my work, reliving the experience I was "translating" into verse, when an acquaintance stage-whispered at me from across the room, "Are you all right?" (She's a freelance writer who comes regularly to the library to work on her laptop computer.)
I got up immediately and crossed the room to speak quietly to her. "Yes, I'm all right, why do you ask?" I said.
"Well, you suddenly looked really upset, like you weren't all right," she said.
"Oh, I see. I suppose all kinds of expressions flick across my face when I'm working," I said. I then briefly explained to her my poetic process; she seemed to understand, and apologized for interrupting me.
It took me a while to get back into the state of mind for poetic composition after that, but I managed.