The doctor was very blunt that the stuff with his dad precipitated this.
which country are you in? ( makes a difference for diagnosis and treatments- and this is massively overdiagnosed in the states so it's good your doctor is being cautious, these drugs have side-effects and there are social implications with any mental illness )
I have Bipolar 1 and though it has meant a sweeping set of lifestyle changes I use very little medication and the mood swings don't get so out of control any more.
People who meet me mostly don't even know there is anything wrong with me and people who have known me for years 'forget' because I am ill so infrequently.
Stress is a trigger for mania and depression, but re his father don't beat yourself up- none of us can go through life without some stresses and whilst we want to make our kids' lives perfect that's not healthy either.
It's important your son grows up to be able to deal with what life throws at him, not only cope when things are going well.
Manic depression brings many gifts to my life like with Moon- creativity and compassion are two. I love my work with alzheimer patients which brings together the two, and I never worry about trying new things or getting stuck in a rut.
Your son with or without a mental illness is a wonderful unique special guy, but the challenges of living with a disability or illness give a dimension and perspective on life which can enrich not only his experiences but everyone around him.
We focus too much on the negatives in all aspects of life but living with managed bipolar is a joy- it really is an amazing illness.
Moon paints, I write and compose, and thousands of creative capable people have done great things through their bipolar.
Give yourself time to adjust and learn more about it, and it is a diagnosis made over years rather than quickly.
If I could tell any young person the dos and don't I would say:
*avoid any mood-altering substances ( alcohol, decongestant meds, caffeine ) in everyday life
*be focussed on a healthy diet and daily exercise- the more well you are the easier to cope
*prioritise the illness; if you need to be home stay home- I use down time as a way of manaaging things and even when I have been very manic my doctor prescribed higher doses of benzodiazepines and I slept for most of 48 hours and was much better next day
*avoid stress- you can't avoid the inevitable but you can learn to manage your life so everyday stresses are minimised; I allow extra time for journeys now, always have routes planned, manage my finances carefully, and say no if I need to.
*I think it is especially important for people with mood disorders to manage relationships- chaotic or abusive relationships get tangled up in the illness and it's impossible to know what's going on. We feel emotions more strongly than other people and things get very intense- some of the people who are attracted to that intensity are NPDs and people with big issues. If you help your son learn all about making healthy relationships he can avoid a lot of the heartache which comes with bipolar intensity: a broken heart really does feel like you're dying. I also think it's part of learning to manage it- telling yourself again and again, it's the illness, it's an effect of the illness, it may not be as painful as it seems....of course that comes with maturity and experience.
btw I am quite manic today, having to be home mostly and took seroquel last night and tonight; that is an effect of working so hard in the holiday season and doing so much driving which is a trigger for me.
Sending you love, you will get through this and you will be amazed how much your son can acheive with a positive attitude to it and using the extra energy to do beautiful things.
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