Intuition and Self-Protection

[Hopalong]

this from Moon on another thread inspired this topic...even though I misread it at first!

I  am a person that wishes to share love and respect if this is not possible with a person then
I do not stay and get my heart beat up

I read it first as "I don't get my heartbeat up" and thought, that is just a perfect description of what I feel when I am engaging with a person who is putting off N signals, and I am attracted, drawn...there are physical clues! IOW, maybe my heart starts beating faster, I feel a little anxious but not so much I feel bad, it's almost like being mildly manic, there's something attractive about this person's big charm-job, or their extreme confidence or hauteur, or something about the way I just haven't quite convinced them to respond to me, or their lack of curiosity about me or my life...hmm, that makes me just feel sort of eager all over, a little twitchy, and I find myself focusing on them very, very alertly, etc.

The "heartbeat" thought made me wonder: what physical signals or irrational thoughts might give us clues that we're in old territory? What I'm getting at is, I think our intuition, our animal sense of reality, is functional in all of us...it's just buried under different degrees of scar tissue. But I have great respect for its power.

Does anyone else feel that they may experience (or may have been overlooking) physical clues from their intuition of Narcissists? I don't mean red flags from them, so much, as what subtle responses are there in ourselves that could be beneficial to us...alerts, warnings, signals from our bodies that we could be helped by?

Hops

[reallyME]

Hops,

I am thinking that you are brilliant right about now!

What a great question and a helpful one! 

For me, when I'd see those signals, I can remember feeling really nervous, heart beating, almost like going to BATTLE to somehow try and HELP this person.  I can remember feeling confused in my head, like being in some sort of daze or dream-state, if that makes sense.  Then I'd feel ANGER rise up, at them ignoring me, punishing me, mocking me.  Lastly, depresssed feelings, seeing that this person really DID want to hurt me because I was everything they wanted to be but felt they never could be...that makes me feel sad, because I am the type of person who would tell just about anyone, "if I can do it, you can do it"...

~Laura

[axa]

Oh boy do I know this.  All I have to do is think back to my first date with XN.  I felt as if I was the most special person.  His interest in me and my life was overwhelming.  I felt so powerful and desired and yes, dare I say it a bit SMUG.  Like he was in awe of me.  He fed my ego and I lapped it up.  He was so over the top.  I remember thinking this at the time but also feeling so ALIVE.  And he was so smart and interesting............ but he thought I was wonderful.  It was my ego.  It was pumped up so that it could be deflated.  I knew, I knew I knew and I still went after it.  The excitement was so addictive.  Oh he was so good at spotting me.

Thank you for posting this.  I need to be so careful around t his.  There is something for me about someone who is funny.........gets me every time.  I dont think all funny people are N's but that is a big big hook for me. 

axa

[Dazed1]

Dear Hops,

Yes, you've posted a really brilliant question.

Yes, my body does give off signals when I meet an N who is a "bad boy".  I feel excited, giddy, heart beats faster.

I am trying to be aware of the way my body reacts so that my mind can say "be careful, go slow, what's going on here?"

These bodily signals are familiar to me because I was raised in a "dramatic" family and therefore, I equate "drama" with love.

Great post, Hops.

dazed

[reallyME]

axa.

you mentioned feeling "smug" when with the N...it reminded me of another feeling I felt.

Because J was wealthy and felt the right to look down on people who aren't, and I was her side-kick at the time, I eventually began to scoff at the "little people" of the world...that would mean things like saying "what is WRONG with you wimpy, demented, mental cases!  Get OVER yourselves and do what GOD wants you to...you just all want attention!  You need to get over yourselves and move on to your destinies!" 

After I parted with J for the final time, I realized how CRUEL toward others I had become, and I humbled myself to be one of those "little ones" again.  I even told J that she was WRONG about those people.  She was too proud to see that JESUS CAME FOR THE POOR, STRUGGLING, "mental cases" like me, others, and yes, in reality, HER!!!

[Hopalong]

Wow. This is more interesting all the time.
I think intuition is gooooooooooooood.

(I bet we listened to it more when we were hunting saber-toothed tigers.)

I suppose if I were mean to myself, I'd say my body responded pretty much like a Golden Retriever when I got the treatment you're talking about, Axa. Dang it was nice to have a brilliant fascinating man look at me like I was just fascinating.

Finally, finally, I've come to respect quieter, subtler signs of interest. That fixated, gleaming-eyed kind of .... yergggh, can't describe it.... but anyway, now my feet are spinning before my ankles catch up!

Hops