Hi, Cookie Guest and Surf,
Today I got to feeling a lot better. For one thing, my living room is neat. My volunteer came yesterday, and we worked on it. She stacked up the papers on my computer desk in a neat stack. She'd done the same to the eating table and the other desk last week. So I am now stacking any loose papers on top of these stacks neatly instead of just tossing them around. And today, my house cleaning sweet woman came and cleaned a bunch, and I got my laundry done, and she folded it. Would you b'lieve all this is mine since I am 60 y/o? My tax dollars at work!!! You, too, may be so privileged one day, if you get to be 60 and IF we can turn around the economy in the USA, which is where I live. If we dont' turn this economy around (remember, under President Clinton, we had a SURPLUS?????) we'll probably lose this, and Medicare and Social Security, too. And of course we continue to lose jobs by the thousands to out-sourcing and slave labor. But dont' get me started.
Anyway, Having a nice, clean, neat place helps a ton.
Plus, Jim finally is coming around about the argument we got into the day before yesterday. The way I put it to him is: "What do we do when there are two bossy people bossing each other?? **I** sure don't know!!! LOLOL!!!" He said he had no idea how to start the discussion, either, but start it we would, and take care of the problem once and for all. He had forgotten that he'd started yelling at me in the hall so loud that I had put my hand over his mouth to shut him up. I told him that was verbal abuse on his part, and physical abuse on my part, and I regretted both, and that we must never let things like this slide, or they would fester in our relationship, forever, and never go away. He completely agrees. We've made good progress already, so this all helps.'
Plus, our friend came home from the hospital. She had a heart attack yesterday, and came home against doctor's' orders today. Personally I think she was smart to come home, after she told me why. I know I would have done exactly as she has. She is Russian or Romanian or something, and her English is not good; and she hates regular American food -- she is a fantastic gourmet Russian cook -- she is always giving her cooking treats to us and others around the building, too. Anyway, when I went to see her early this evening, there she was in her robe STANDING BY THE SINK washing out her little cheese cloth thing, getting ready (or having finishied?) making cottage cheese. I hollered a little at her with lots of love and said, WHAT are you doing out here!!??? You are supposed to be in bed!
Her grown grandson was there with her, too, and I said, "Can't you make your grandmother stay in bed?" He said that would be utterly impossible!! Even if he tied her down, she would fight against the ropes and get worse than before!!!
So anyway, the reason she came home, she told me was that (1) she could not get any rest. Every two hours they came and took her for another test! All day and all night!!! (2) It was so noisy there she could not sleep! (3) She was very hungry! (4) and of course, she needed a lot of rest.
Plus, she said they were going to give her an "angel test." Probably some sort of angiogram??? Anyway, she said her sister had already had one, and she wants to talk to her sister before she elects to have, or not have, an "angel test." She says they put a tube or something into the lower right side of your torso, and it goes up a vein into your heart. She wanted to know how painful it is, or if it's painful. So she plans to ask her sister.
Plus, she has very strong religious beliefs, and is all worked up and worried about something to do with the Book of Revelation. She thinks the anti-christ is coming on September 6-8, 2004 and she wants to "go home" into the next world, before then anyway. She is not at all afraid of passing on. Since my beliefs are definitely of a continuation of life, too, and I am not afraid, either, and have a knowledge of how the treatment can definitely sometimes be worse than the disease, I told her I thought her decision was very wise.
So it is nice to see her home. She has good friends here in the building, and her grandson is living with her, and helps her, too.
All these things have cheered me. And I also did some work on my painting again today; and also decided to lose 10 pounds. So I gave away my huge package of Mounds bars. There were a bunch of litle ones, and I put them in choice places all over the building, and gave them to 4 friends including the two cleaning people and one of the maintenance men, too. They were delighted, and I was delighted to see them so happy, and glad to see my fat leaving. I can't hardly do my yoga due to 2 rolls of fat on my tummy.
Like both of you have advised, I have quit thinking so much about my sister,and have been thinking about creative endeavors, and doing some.
The cats are well, Jim and I are well, and I am also going to get to bed earlier from now on. Except I am later than I wanted to be.
I hope this is not too long, or that you have stopped reading by now.
Thank you both and all for your sweet posts, and great support. I guess my blahs didn't last forever like I thought they would.
Oh -- and as for h ow long the dullsville lasts -- it differs, and is impossible to tell. I take Effexor, which is what it sounds like the law student takes. It has taken away the pain in my back, too. Did I tell you I had a massage on Monday? A friend gives me massages very cheap! $7.00 or whatever I can afford. He's just a sweet guy. He's blind and on disability so does not really need the money, I guess. He is licensed LMT and is an amazing healer. He showed me how to make the metatarsals in my feet move!! (Those are the bones that run from the base of the toes to the ankles -- the basic long "foot bones.") Whee. What fun. (If you grab any two adjacent knuckles on one of your hands, you can move the metacarpals, which are the equivalent hand bones. You can do this with ALL the metacarpal sets of 2. Well, he showed me the exact same thing with the feet.) He realigned the big toe in my right foot, which gets "out" occasionally and showed me how to fix it myself from now on. It really makes my feet limber and feel so good.
Love,
Flo
