Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

signs?

<< < (3/3)

kelly8893:
I have been in the same situation as you once upon a time.... I wasn't looking for a sign from God because I know God is beside me everyday and in every situation I put myself in but I was rather looking for a good reason not to be so nice ( I am a too nice of a person) because through my 8 year relationship with a classic N, they never change, EVER. Even the best doctors in the world have little hope for these people to ever recover and be normal, sad but true. Take the mothers advice she probably knows her son very well and she sounds like she knows what she is talking about no man or person for that matter is worth losing yourself. If you stay with him after some time you will have to lose yourself to stay with him, that is the way these people work. You are worth more then that, I am sure you have hopes and dreams and goals, Take care of yourself no one else will do it and you are worth it, God loves you!!!!

kelly

Sally (sslichterj):
I think the most important thing has already been said.  It is not really about what you think of him, nor what other people think of him (including his mother). It is what you think. The fact is that you have found this site, which I would suggest might be the biggest sign from whatever, or whomever your Higher Power is because this is the place you will find the truth about who he IS.  And, how can you be sure you know that? By observing what he does in a relationship with you, friends or his family.

On this site you can look at what behaviors charcterize an N.  Then, that is really all you need to know, in my humble opinion.  If he fits in most, ie. more than half of the characteristics of an N, then you have your answer.  If he is a narcissist, then the people on this site who have lived with, grown up with, been the children of Narcissists can tell you what the future holds for you if you choose to stay with him.

You know my opinion, I frankly feel as if I have to tell anyone who I know is in a relationship with an N that they should leave.  But that is just my opinion.  As I remember, you said that he was away for awhile, but in my experience being apart from an N somehow guilds them in a different light. It is in direct contact that we can see what they are really all about.  From a distance they can much too easily turn on the charm so that we, their victims, forget what it is to be around them.

So, from my experience, I would suggust that you test the characteristics in him.  Then spend time here and reading about Narcissists.  I think your sign has been coming to this site, it certainly was for me after 20 years of utter agony.  Hugs, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Sally

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[*] Previous page