Author Topic: Negative Scripts  (Read 1358 times)

Dazed1

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Negative Scripts
« on: January 09, 2007, 09:05:32 PM »
Found this very enlightening:

From coping.org

 What are negative self-scripts?
 Before we can become self-affirming, we need to learn about the
 effects of negativism in our lives.
 Negative self-scripts are the:
 Negative beliefs you have about yourself and of which you remind
 yourself daily.
 
 Negative statements about yourself which sprinkle your every­day
 conversation.
 
 Self-deprecating remarks that influence your behavior or beliefs.
 
 Negative descriptions given to you by members of your family of
 origin or peer group when you were younger onto which you hold even
 to this day.
 
 Negative feedback you get from your spouse, boss, teacher,
 colleagues, children, parents, relatives, or others that you take
 personally and incorporate into your personal belief system.
 
 Negative self-images you have of your body, looks, face, weight,
 coloring, hair, feet, or other parts of your body, which as you
 visualize, influence your presentation of self to others.
 
 Negative assessment you or others have made of your competency,
 skills, ability, knowledge, intelligence, creativity, or common
 sense. You have agreed with this internally and, thus, believe it
 true of you.
 
 Negative stories about your past behavior, failures, or performances
 that you systematically run over in your mind and which influence
 your current conduct.
 
 Negative attitudes about the possibility of your achievement of
 success in your life; these influence your motivation, effort, and
 drive for attainment of goals.
 
 Negative visualizations you have of your current status or state in
 life to your personal detriment.

 Feelings of anger, resentment, hostility or rage you feel toward
 others for real or imagined mistreatment. This so immobilizes you
 that your emotional growth gets stunted and you feel negatively
 about both yourself and life in general.

 Feelings of guilt for real or imagined debilitating wrongs you have
 committed that prevent positive self-valuing thoughts.

   Negative prophecies that you or others have made about yourself,
your future, your success, your relationships, your family, or your
 health; these haunt you as you face a daily struggle to "win'' in
 life.
  Ways in which you deny yourself rewards for your goodness, hard work
 and caring by: (1) not taking time to enjoy the fruits of your
 labor, (2) living in a style of self denial and austerity and (3) being
 afraid to let down your guard and relax, lest you fail to achieve
 your ``Big Pay Off.''
 Feelings of over-responsibility with which you burden yourself. This
 includes the feeling that others in your life will never be able to
 fully take care of themselves and that you are "responsible'' for
 them no matter what.
 
 Dread and fear you have when facing your future; the belief that you
 do not have what it takes to survive or to be successful in whatever
 circumstances you face.
  Feelings of failure you harbor about real or imagined mistakes in
 the past and your "assured'' failures in the future.
 
 Feelings of jealousy you harbor toward others whom you perceive  (real
 or imagined) to be more successful, prettier, luckier, better liked,
 smarter, more talented, more creative, and generally better off than
 you.
 
 Feelings of inferiority you harbor about yourself and the belief  that
 no matter what you do in life, it will never be ``good enough.''
 
 Feelings that there is someone in your life (e.g., your spouse, one
 of your parents, a family member, a former teacher, a peer, co-
 worker, a boss) from whom you are still waiting to receive
 recognition of your worth, your goodness, your competency, your
 beauty, and your overall qualities.
 
 What is the outcome of believing in negative self-scripts?
 The outcome of believing in negative self-scripts can include:
 Over-dependence on the approval of others: You have an inordinate
 need to receive positive reinforcement or approval for what you are,
 how you act, and what you do from others, with an inability to be
 self-rewarding.

 Lack of self-esteem and low self-concept: You have an inability to
 believe in your own worth, inability to see any value in your own
 life, a poor self-image, and a lack of belief in your competency to
 succeed in life.
 
 Immobilization: A rigid belief system immobilizes you from taking
 risks in life, prevents you from wanting to make a change, freezes
 your feelings into a negative pattern, and convinces you that your
 only role in life is to be victimized by those from whom you cannot
 escape.
 
 Negativity: Your negative view of yourself leads you to see all of
 your world in a negative light. You begin to believe and act as a
 `"loser.'' You see nothing in a positive light and can't be  convinced
 that there is a better option in life.
 
 Pessimism: You no longer believe that you will succeed and are no
 longer willing to take an optimistic position as you look to your
 future. You can see only gloom and doom on the horizon.
 
 Self-Pity: You begin to feel so sorry for yourself and how life has
 treated you that you become your best ``pity party'' guest. You are
 so lost in your self-sorrow, regrets, remorse, sympathy, and pity
 that you refuse to be shaken or changed. You begin to believe that
 no one will notice you if they can't feel sorry for you too.
  Cynicism: You take a "yes-but'' cynical look at every suggestion for
 change in your life. You begin to doubt in the sincerity, kindness,
 and love of others who are trying to help you. You create a barrier
 of cynicism to block them out, thus convincing yourself when they
 leave you that they really didn't care.
 
 The "Guard-All Shield'': You create an invisible shield, tough for
 others to see or to penetrate. People will approach you and try to
 get involved, but you zap them with your shield and they back away
 or turn and run. The shield is so subtle that at times you don't even
 know it exists, and you get confused by people pulling away from
 you. This shield can take the form of coldness, wise cracking, fear of
 being hurt, aloofness, unwillingness to change or take a risk, fear
 of being taken advantage of, fear of intimacy, fear of failure, fear
 of hurting others, or any other feeling that keeps you from
 connecting emotionally with another person
 
 Fulfillment of the Prophecy: Because negative self-scripts predict
 the worst, you at some subconscious level work to achieve the worst
 and succeed in fulfilling the negative prophecy of: failure,
 rejection, loss, disapproval, or any other catastrophe or malady. It
 is a pattern of being self-destructive with one's life.
 
 Depression: Because of the anger, resentment, rage, hurt,
 disappointment, disillusionment, and suffering you experience from
 your negative self-scripting you are a ``good'' candidate for firm
 and long-lasting depression. Your emotions can become so stuck,
 rigid, and constricted that you can be embedded into a deep sense of
 melancholy, blue funk, and loss of hope. At this stage you are a
 candidate for mental health intervention before the depression
 reaches a despair level and you become even more self-destructive,
 possibly physically ill or suicidal.

Dazed1

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Re: Negative Scripts
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2007, 09:38:16 PM »
From coping.org

Self-affirmations
 
 What are self-affirmations?  Self-affirmations are:
 
 Healing, positive self-scripts you give to yourself to counter your
 negative self-scripts.
 
 Vehicles by which you can free yourself from the over-dependence on
 other's opinions, attitudes, or feelings about you and feel good
 about yourself.
 
 The visualization of a new order and sense in your life, which you
 can work toward achieving.
 
 You take personal responsibility for your health and emotional
 stability.
 
 You let go of negative emotional baggage you have been carrying. Only
 then will you be able to deal with your life in a realistic and
 positive manner.
 
 The resolution of feelings from the past so that you can face the
 present with a less obstructed view.
 
 You give yourself permission to grow, to change, to take risks, to
 rise up, and to create a better life for yourself.
 
 You take a healthy `"selfish'' or self-oriented route in your life so
 that you can "let go'' of these people who drain your resources and
 keep you from experiencing full personal health.
 
 The recognition of your rights and affirming your claim on them,
 giving you an equitable chance of achieving your fullest potential.
 
 Success prophecies that, when visualized, imagined, or believed in,
 do come true.
 
 
 What shapes can positive self-affirmations take?
 I statements:
 
 "I'' statements are one-line statements that can be repeated to cover
 three areas:
 
 I am: A statement of who you are
 
 This is a positive affirmation of a real state of being that exists
 in you. You can achieve a full list of I am Y statements by taking a personal positive inventory of your attributes, strengths, talents,
 and competencies. Examples include:
 
 I am competent
 I am energetic
 I am strong
 I am enthusiastic
 I am intelligent
 I am relaxed
 I am beautiful
 I am joyful
 I am a good person
 I am trusting
 I am caring
 I am generous
 I am loving
 I am courageous
 I am smart
 I am forgiving
 I am creative
 I am open
 I am talented
 I am sharing
 
 I can: A statement of your potential
 
 This is a positive affirmation of your ability to accomplish goals.
 It is a statement of your belief in your power to grow, to change,
 and to help yourself. I can Y statements are developed after you
 develop a set of "short-term'' (three to six months) goals. Examples
 include:
 
 I can lose weight
 I can grow
 
 I can stop smoking
 I can heal
 
 I can handle my children
 I can let go of guilt
 
 I can gain self-confidence
 I can let go of fear
 
 I can take risks
 I can change
 
 I can be a winner
 I can be positive
 
 I can be strong
 I can be a problem solver
 
 I can pass calculus
 I can handle my own problems
 
 I can laugh and have fun
 I can be honest with my feelings
 
 I can be assertive
 I can let go of being compulsive
 
 I can control my temper
 I can succeed
 
 I will: A statement of positive change in your life
 
 This is a positive affirmation of a change you want to achieve. It is
 a positive statement of what you want to happen. It is a ``success
 prophecy.'' I will Y statements are developed after you have set your
 priorities for the short-term goals you have set. Examples include:
 I will like myself better each day.
 
 I will gain emotional strength each day.
 
 I will lose weight each day.
 
 I will smoke less each day.
 
 I will control my temper today.

 I will give others responsibility for their lives today.
 
 I will grow emotionally stronger each day.
 
 I will smile more at my customers today.
 
 I will offer my comments in class today.
 
 I will praise my children today.
 
 I will feel good things about me today.
 
 I will sleep easily tonight.
 
 I will feel less guilt each day.
 
 I will face my fears courageously today.
 
 I will take on only what I can handle today.
 
 I will take care of me today.
 
 I will challenge myself to change today.
 
 I will manage my time better today.
 
 I will handle my finances wisely today.
 
 I will take a risk to grow today.
 
 I am
 
 I can Statements of Self-Belief
 
 I will
 
 The daily use of these "I'' statements is another form of self-
 affirmation designed to counter negative self-concept. It can result
 in a positive attitude, optimism, and can motivate you toward
 emotional growth and progress.
 
 
 
 Self-affirmation statements
 These forms of affirmation are words, phrases, or statements written
 on 3 x 5 index cards and placed where you can see them daily and be
 reminded of positive aspects about yourself. Every time you see these
 affirmation cards they will remind you to affirm yourself about these
 positive qualities or attributes. State all affirmations in a
 positive way.
 
 Suggested places for affirmation cards:
 
 mirror in bathroom
 dashboard of car
 
 mirror on dresser
 desk at office
 
 closet door
 desk at home
 
 refrigerator door
 in your wallet
 
 front door
 in your brief case
 
 bedroom door
 in books you use at work or school
 
 at your telephone
 
 
 
 Affirmation of the day exercise
 Write a single positive affirmation on thirty 3 x 5 index cards. Take
 one card a day for each day of the month. This card is your
 affirmation for the day. When you get to the last card start again.
 
 To make this daily affirmation process grow, write out thirty
 different affirmations for each month of the year. Keep the 360 cards
 in a recipe box and continually use the collection year after year,
 adding new affirmations as you need them.


Stormchild

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Re: Negative Scripts
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2007, 10:32:09 PM »
Good stuff! Thanks for posting this!
The only way out is through, and the only way to win is not to play.

"... truth is all I can stand to live with." -- Moonlight52

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ex member

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Re: Negative Scripts
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2007, 02:30:49 PM »
Thanks Stormy and Dazed,

I was just thinking about the power of attitude this morning, and your posts are very welcome (and loving and caring!) reminders.

IMHO, a person only has so much positive energy any given day...and, in the same way that a negative script can start a downward spiral, even one loving affirmation gives us a little boost, just the smallest smiling nudge toward positivity, a little sunshine inside. And one good thing can lead to the next, and spread to the next person, and so on....

One little personal example:

I feel like crap today. It would be so easy, almost inviting, to kick myself for accomplishing less than I planned. (I have done this before, approximately 6 million times...and it probably took that all 6 mil to realize I would never treat anyone as badly as I treated me).

OR, I can acknowledge that doing my best means a different thing every day and just alter my expectations.

YIKES! The scary thing about this whole personal accountability philosophy is that it's all up to me. Gotta' roll with the self, baby!

Thanks much for lighting a positive path,

 :D


Hopalong

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Re: Negative Scripts
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2007, 10:58:34 PM »
Quote
doing my best means a different thing every day


thank you for this perspective!

I feel stupid! That truly is helpful.

Because I set up perfectionistic scenarios that I so often fail to reach.

Your idea calls me to the present and being kinder to myself, forgiving myself just as a parent has to forgive a little kid...over and over, just part of the job.

Amazing how this one thought cheers me.

Thanks, again, ((((exM)))).

Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

kelly as guest

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Re: Negative Scripts
« Reply #5 on: January 11, 2007, 09:37:36 PM »
I loved this so much I printed it off.  The Negative Self Scripts are so ME......it is amazing how progressively you can become a pessimisstic doomsday type depressed person.....

The the other side of the coin with the positive affirmations!!  Love them!!  Will use them to dig myself of this hole that I have been living in for so long!!!