ah the magic of google...
what i found bout ego and self that strikes a chord with me
http://shalomplace.com/view/godselfego.htmland an excerpt from the above site..
So, what is Self and Ego?
Put simply, it is "I".
But this ineffable experience we know to be "I" has two aspects:
potentiality and actuality. The "I" of potentiality is the larger,
more universal aspect; the individual actualization of this potential
is more unique and personal. Hence, Self can be considered the
subject of the unconscious, and Ego the subject of desire,
intellectual activity, and conscious experience. These are not two
different subjects, but they are two different experiences of "I".
Self is "I" as the human spirit, who is present in desire and all
manner of experiences, while Ego is the conscious and active
dimension of "I" in this embodied state. When one consciously
realizes this connection between Self and Ego, then the Ego loses its
sense of alienation and isolation and begins to experience the
social, cosmic, transcendent and holistic qualities of Self.
Because of our false self conditioning, however, our awareness
of this connection between Self in Ego can be so terribly distorted
that the Egoic "I" does not know from whence it comes, and so it
attaches to all manner of things within and without the person in an
attempt to complete itself. "I" can then become lost in the
convoluted activities of the mind and emotions, becoming, instead, a
"me," or object of my own mental activity. In such cases (and they
are legion), then "I" am not merely shaped by my experiences, but
determined by them. They are not "mine," but "me." Excessive self-
definition and judgmentalism follow from the creation of this mind-
self, which is not-"I".
....
Given these brief descriptions of false self, Ego, Self, and
God, several different unitive experiences can be acknowledged:
• False self-Ego union . Even though the false self has no sub-
stantial nature, its mode of operation is Egoic. This is one
reason why many have written about the sinful nature of the Ego,
and bemoaned the irresponsibility of the Ego. The problem is the
false self infection of Ego, however, and not the fact of the
Ego's existence. This understanding has many implications for
spiritual practice.
• Ego-Self union. This is a good and natural relationship, which
Jungian psychology has investigated extensively. The development
of this union is the project Jung called individuation. It can
also be developed through a variety of other disciplines which
emphasize authenticity in speech, thought, and behavior.
• Self-God union. If Ego's desires could be extinguished, along
with the intellectual convictions which support them, then the
"suchness" of Self and its union with God and creation could be
experienced directly and non-reflectively. God would not be known
as relational partner, however, but would be implicit in the Self
and in creation and known as Void, or Emptiness. Some forms of
Eastern mysticism seem to emphasize this union.
• Ego-God union. A wide variety of possibilities exist, here. In
general, God is considered as an-Other Being with Whom the Ego
relates through the medium of ideas, concepts, feelings, desires,
images and symbols. God can and often does communicate with the
Ego in this manner, as the Judeo-Christian tradition of revelation
emphasizes. Because the life of the Ego is under the sway of the
false self, however, its relationship with God can be distorted
in many ways.
• Ego-Self-God union. This is contemplative union as understood in
the Catholic mystical tradition. Here, the Ego relates to God
intellectually and affectively, as described above, but also
experiences God through the unconscious realm of the psyche, of
which the Self is central. Thus does the Ego develop its
connection with Self in the context of its relationship with God.
During ecstatic experiences, the Ego may be lost for awhile,
with the Self-God union predominating, but eventually the Ego
returns to integrate the ecstatic experience consciously and in the
overall lifestyle. The Ego-Self-God union, then, is both mystical
and individuating.
