Hey, seastorm.
In this case, you got something very helpful out of that brief contact, didn't you? You heard him through new ears, you 'saw' him through new eyes.
You were able to take the stuff you have figured out here, and go back and apply it, automatically, you didn't have to think about it, it just came naturally to you when you heard his BS. And you were even able to hear the tone of voice or the 'preening' words that give away the game when an N is insincere*.
[I don't know how to describe the 'preening' except that they sound as though they're looking in the mirror all the time they're talking to you. I've even seen this 'tone of voice' when reading some writers and columnists... it's unmistakable once you learn to recognize it... and it's always a danger signal. You've learned how to spot it. You'll never forget how, once you've learned.]
On top of that, here you are feeling ashamed of having contacted him, but talking honestly about it.
Nothing to be ashamed of, nothing I can find anywhere in any of that.
A great deal to be proud of, actually. There's nobody on the planet who doesn't sometimes 'go back to check' in a situation like this. That's what you did, and looky what you discovered!
Your own good sense, working right up front to protect you.
Sometimes going back for a good look, and seeing clearly what was really there, is the best cure in the world for this kind of grieving.
((((((((((seastorm))))))))))
* i.e., all the time
