I have just recently discovered - after 8 tumultuous years - that my SO has narcissistic personality disorder - in spades. It is my own diagnosis, not that of a therapist, but is too fitting for me to ignore. The substance abuse is there, and, as always, aggravates her behavior. After a painful telephone conversation recently, in which she was very drunk, she spoke the words which were the last straw in betrayal. Now I understand fully that, if I were to share how badly she hurt me, her immediate response would be swift and angry denial and throwing the blame back on me. I have lived through so many years of feeling it was me, I was the crazy one, and I am not willing to go down that raod again. She is angry because I have withdrawn to contemplate the cost of this rel'ship - I guess that makes me her supply. I just can't take the pressure of her demands for me to fill her needs. I just hope to God I can maintain my distance - for my own sake.