Relationships; Why The Need To Support?

[Hopalong]

PP,

You express yourself with such elegance and grace.
You make enormous sense.

You do more than that, you really illuminate things.

Thanks, dear.

Hops

[isittoolate]

don't you EVER think about leaving here, Beth
...or I'll hunt you down and drag you back by the heels!

Sometimes I think that people think a good acquaintance is a friend. Basically we are lucky if we have one good lasting friend in a lifetime. I've had many acquaintances, and I think these are the people with whom I would NEVER share my baggage. The only people who understand are those who have been through the same manure pile and jumped into the  bathtub...

To those of you who feel like running away, backing off, whatever, that was my frame of mind when I was diagnosed with AvPD. I don't think I would complete that psychiatrist's form the same way now. I would likely be Schizoid---solitude on purpose.

This after noon I had a telephone call from Kansas.  She and her husband used to triple with us (the otherGal is in Calgary) so 6 of us, and we met in 1961---- we are not always in touch, maybe once a year, year ½, but it's like no time has passed.

The gal who babysat my daughter when she was little-- began 1967--we are always  in touch.

..and what this tells me is that the friends I made back then are the solid ones and at my age now, it likely is impossible to find another senior citzen who knows all the 'crap', I know and have been through.

...I think it is awesome the sharing and support that takes place on this board. I really do!!
I
Z
Z
Y

[pennyplant]

Thanks, Hopsy, for the nice compliment.

Stormy, I do think certain places are far harder than others for all kinds of reasons such as the ones you listed.  At work yesterday I talked with a customer who lives here only because his wife is from here.  He mentioned how unfriendly a place he has found it.  I told him I'm from here and find it to be this way also.  When I hear people say that they find it friendly here, I always wonder, Wow, where are you from that you think it is friendly here?  Cause it just ain't so. I've been to places, and lived in places, where it is friendly or at least laid back and people let you be.  I think this place where I'm from is a Narcissistic Place.  Or a Voiceless Place where people are always in some kind of defensive mode.

My son told me the other day that he remembers how bad it felt to him when we moved back here.  He was born in Virginia while my husband was in the Navy and so is the only member of our family who is not from here.  When we came back, he was only seven and he noticed immediately the negative atmosphere all around us.  It took him a long time to get used to it.  I hadn't known he felt that way until he told me that this week.  Pretty insightful.  He has always been able to see right to the crux of a thing, though.  He  hopes we leave this area some day.  I'm a little torn about that myself.  Starting over again, again, when we're nearing 50?  That seems like a hard thing to do.  Maybe we'll figure it out somehow, though.

Stormy, it's really hard for me to reach out too.  The times when I do are when I feel I am really in need, and that is when it seems like nobody is there.  At least with this place, if someone doesn't respond cyberly, there is probably a non-personal reason for it.  Maybe that is true in 3-D life too, but how would you ever know for sure?  People aren't always honest about things.  I think it is a real gift for someone to be able to say, I do care, but I don't know how to show it.

Deb and Izzy, friends from our younger days--yes, they can't really be duplicated.  I don't know if it is because we are more open to it in youth, more hopeful, more dependent, or what.  Life itself seems to get in the way for even the luckiest of people.  Throw in some real problems along the way or like with us, some awakenings, and you've got many, many extra hurdles to overcome.

Hey, Beth, you know, we do have a lot in common.  You inspire me, too, and that's quite the big deal!  Just think how very lonely I would be feeling right now to be up at 2:25 am and not have this place and these people to talk to about such important things.  I can't even imagine a life without this group.  We're making our own kind of support and it's getting us through.

Well, pretty soon I better try to sleep again.  Another busy day at work looms ahead.  If things are hard at work that colors everything else, for sure. 

Good night, or good morning, whichever fits.

Love, Pennyplant