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surf14:
Hi All; I love this post because of all the great suggestions on how to handle the turbulent trlationship with the N mother. Rojo; with all these questions being fired back at you by your mother, who is obviously poking around looking for some weakness, you can take full charge by giving no response to any of the questions. ( exactly as Rosencrantz suggests) A great opportunity here to practice taking charge and not reacting. Think I'll apply it to my own situation today! Let us know how it goes. :D Surf
Rojo:
Hi, Wildflower and Surf :)
I think you both processed my mother's latest email exactly the way I did. She's almost desperate to find something the matter with me. Happily, I'm not depressed or having any troubles. In fact, I feel better than I've felt in ages. I feel invigorated, free, energetic, beautiful and very inspired these days and being in my thirties is turning out to be a marvelous period of my life.
Wildflower, I had to cackle about how fun it is to watch them wriggle. It's outright hilarious! Heh, heh :twisted: Squirm baby, squirm!!! LOL. Surf, you're so right about this being my chance to take charge and boy does it feel LIBERATING!!!
Thanks folks and I'll definitely keep you posted.
God bless,
Rojo
Rojo:
I can't believe I almost forgot to include the next sentence from her email...
"How are you going to cope with going to college and looking after the dogs and a job as well? the animals have got used to you being home most of the time so I hope it will be OK."
How's that for trying to sabotage me? Dear God, this woman is such a wolf in sheep's clothing...there's no limit to what lengths these N's will go to trying to suppress our growth as individuals. Never mind that I'm in such a good spot in my life, so much so that I'm feeling confident enough to go back to college and completely change my career to do something that I actually love doing. Never mind that I'm way old enough to know how to juggle my own schedule. The problem is that SHE could never do it so she's trying to project that on me. I'd not told her about my going back to college but she found out somehow a while back. It's so amazing to see how she stored that info...just waiting for a chance to use it as a way to try cripple me. Pathetic, just pathetic.
:roll:
Rojo
surf14:
She's afraid you will accomplish more than she did; she is threatened by that. Surf
RedRose:
Rojo,
It's like walking on eggshells. You know, there doesn't even have to be any yelling or anything. It's just like BAM! Outta nowhere comes some comment.
I know there have been many times I will be around my mother and she will just say something. And I'm thinking to myself, What the hell?
For example, one day not too long ago, I was humming IN MY HOME. And outta nowhere, just as serious as she can be, the BINCH says, "Why are you humming? Are you feeling guilty about something?"
I said, "What are you talking about? I can't hum?"
She said (something like this), "Well, if you're humming, that usually means you're covering something up."
These are the times I loathe her. These are the times I realize how the happy kid was squashed. This is when you realize why you are so freaking insane trying to make your way in the world. This is when you realize you have MANY demons to fight and a struggle which some people for whom you care just don't understand. And you fight, and you hope you don't become this same monster.
May the gods help me when raising my own kids and in dealing with other relationships. :cry:
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