Hi Divine,
There's a lot of great suggestions here, a lot of food for thought. Whatever you decide, I hope you will celebrate you that day since it is your Bday.
You asked "Any good comebacks to the "You should's"?
Got one: tell people to stop shoulding all over you!
Albert Ellis, who I believe is one of the founders of cognitive behavioral therapy, used to say something like we are unhappy and screw up our lives because we "should" all over ourselves. So, he'd say "stop shoulding all over yourself!!!"
I've tried to banish the word "should" from my vocab, but it's hard. We're so conditioned and brainwashed.
Go luck you your decision (((Divine)))
((((Leah)))),
They say truth is stranger than fiction and it's true.
The Requiem Card incident, the 'I'll bruise myself and say you did it' incident: (((((((Leah)))))))), you have been through a lot.
My suggestion: in view of the 'I'll bruise myself and say you did it' incident, may I suggest that you never be alone with her in case she actually carries out her threat. Without a witness, it's possible you could wind up being arrested for hitting her.
As I think about it, maybe consult an Elder Law attorney and get some suggestions on how to handle your mom (don't bring your mother with you, go alone or with a friend). Your mom sounds like she could be a danger to you. Actually, she is currently a danger to your mental and emotional health, but in the future, she might lie and say you hit her and then it's possible that you could be arrested for elder abuse.
I'm so sorry (((((Leah))))).
dazed