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Have you experienced stalking?

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cindy:
In Melloy's book The Psychology of Stalking, Clinical and Forensic Perspectives, Edited by J. Reid Meloy Chapter 4 “Psychiatric Diagnosis and the Offender—Victim Typology of Stalking” by Michael A. Zona, M.D., Russell E. Palarea, M.A., and John C. Lane, Jr., M.P.A.  the following:
"These four personality disorders—antisocial, borderline, histrionic and narcissistic—are the most frequently involved in stalking. The essential feature of this cluster is that, at their core, individuals with these disorders lack their own identity, or sense of self, which prevents them from establishing an appropriate rapport with and attachment to others."

Some resources for further investigation, if you're interested, can be found at http://www.stalkingawareness.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=154

Guest:
I have just found this site and I am wondering if CC would respond.

CC said that the N's in her life usually responded to her "absences" by distancing themselves (a kind of behaviour).  I have known the N in my life for a few years.  He has twice severed the "relationship" for genuine reasons.  However, around last May he began to distance himself and refused to see me when I asked.  He is cerebral N.  However he continued to "dangle the carrot" by telephone text messages, but eventually I said I would not text him again, until I had seen him.  
Since then, he has sent an infrequent e-mail, but has not texted at all.
He still seemed to be fairly "affectionate" in his e-mails.  I thought (mistakenly) that he would have been delighted when I texted him again after 4 months, but he has ignored me totally, which is totally different behaviour.  What has worked in the past is no longer working.  It is as though because I "distanced" he is now doing the same thing.
CC, could you please explain this phenomena a little more - did the N actually come forward again?  I read extensively on N forums, but I am not sure what to expect next.  For your information, the n is a successful business person, but as far as "relationships" go, I am the only one.  I do know this for a fact.  Thanks for any information.

cindy:
A new site for victims of domestic violence, abuse and stalking, run by a woman I trust and have known for a while.  It would be great to have a narcissism area on the boards, as many of us are dealing with Ns.

http://saveyourspirit.org/phpBB2/index.php

mcg31360:
Just wanted to suggest a very good book I found out about in another Nforum called, "Why  Does He DO That? by Lundy Bancroft.  I am now reading it for the second time.  It is not about stalking directly, but there is a wealth of information about angry and controlling people.  While written primarily about men, it could also apply to women.

Cathi

Anonymous:
I just recently found this board, and this thread rings especially true for me.  I'm pretty certain my mom is an N, and she exihibits stalking behavior.

I went to an out of state school in college.  And she would call all hours of the night if I didn't answer, demand to know where I was at all times.  She called my boss where I worked on campus to make sure I was at work.  She called my dean to check on my progress.  She called my friends to see if I was in their rooms.  And no matter what I told her, she believed I was lying to her.  If I didn't return her calls, then she would threaten to drive to the school and take me home or call the police to take my car away.

After I graduated, she cooled that behavoir somewhat.  But when I started making plans to move out of my parents house and get my own house, she then charged thousands of dollars in my name so that I couldn't get a loan or a rental house.  She calls my work and gets very angry if I'm away on a call and not at my desk.  She goes through my things, reads my journals, goes through the files on my computer, etc.  Anytime I try to put any distance between us, she tries to snatch me back because I seem to be the only reason she has for living.

Except now she has my son to work her charms on, and she tries to control him the way she controlled me.  In fact, I barely seem to exist for her at the moment.  She seldom speaks to me unless she absolutely has to.

I do however, plan on moving far away from her and getting my son away from her, so I expect the stalking behavior to return.

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