Positive attitude

[Lupita]

Following the advises that I saw from good people here, I am writing positive things that I have to thank God for.

1- I have a job. It is not a perfect job, gives me many problems in my first period class. But the rest of the classes, five more, are very nice. I can pay the bills. Selfsufficient.

2- I have two legs, and two good hands, that allow me to go to the gym, take dance lessons, and play the piano.

3- My son is healthy and intelligent, and he loves me. I see him once a week. He is doing very well despite all he had tu suffer and put up with a depressed mother with low energy and extremely negative, and a horribly narcissistic father. My son is a myracle. He has been a lamb. His father did a lot of damage. But my son loves Jesus, goes to church, needs only one more year to graduate from college. He plays the piano wonderfully.

4- I have two eyes that allow me to see the stars and the sky.

5- I found this board where other human beings will read my whining and give valuable advise.

6- I do not have a brain tumor like my poor cousin.

7- I do not know what else to say. If you ask me for what I feel bad i can give you one thousand reasons. To feel well I have to think too hard. Do you think it is a habit? Why the heck I feel sad? Why I am almost about to cry all the time?

Thank you to everyone for your help, patience, and support.

[Gaining Strength]

7- I do not know what else to say. If you ask me for what I feel bad i can give you one thousand reasons. To feel well I have to think too hard. Do you think it is a habit? Why the heck I feel sad? Why I am almost about to cry all the time?

YES it is a habit Lupita.  It is a habit just like smoking or any other habit/addiction.  And it has effects on the working of your brain.  You feel sad because you are depressed!  I am almost your age and I lived a life of depression and then when my husband died 5 years ago and one thing after another fell apart I fell into severe, debilitating, paralyzing depression.  But I have climb and clawed my way out.  This winter I made it through without taking antidepressants for the first tme in years. 

I began to believe that it was possible to change.  That is the first step.  And then I had to believe that I could change.  I have worked my way through depression and through anxiety and now I am working my way through very negative and critical automatic thoughts that can really get me down.  But I KNOW that I can change these with persistent work.  I just won't give up because I know it is possible and I really want it.  It can take time. But what have we got to lose?  Nothing but feeling bad.

Make a short list of things you would like such as friends to talk with often and each and every day imagine yourself having those friends, what you would do, how you would talk and on an on.  Just imagine how good it feels.  Believe it or not this is an exercise that can help it come into reality.  I first read about this in Norman Vincent Peale's "The Power of Positive Thinking".  Try it.  You might be wonderfully surprised. - Gaining Strength

[Leah]

Following the advises that I saw from good people here, I am writing positive things that I have to thank God for.

  Bless your heart Lupita,

You put God first and he will honor that.

((( Leah )))

[seastorm]

((((((Lupita))))))))))

Depression is not something you can just give yourself a kick in the bum and get over. It is not a bad habit. It is like diabetes or a broken leg.  It requires good medical attention.
I have been on anti depressants and they have altered my brain chemistry and helped me to regain my emotional balance. After years in a stressful job there are lots of reasons your brain may be exhausted and not producing cordisal  Your adrenals are probably exhausted.
This is not your fault. You need support and love to recover.
It is not a miracle you have lovely son who plays the piano. Who took him to his lessons and paid for them. Who taught him to be kind and compassionate? I bet it was you.
Affirmations are helpful and so is gratitude. But you cant fix a broken leg this way.

Keep writing.  You have a Narcissistic husband. Hmmmmm, that is certainly a contributor to a spouse's depression. How does his Narcissism affect you?   What price are you paying? We all ended up drained dry by the naricssistic spouses we had on this site. Of course I did not know that at the time. Maybe just a tiny sane signal was coming from my own mind but N blamed me for everything.  Eventually, that signal got louder and I just bailed out of the relationship. Sort of the equivalent of running screaming into the street in the middle of the night.

There are reasons for your pain. I don't see you as a whiner. Where the heck did that come from ?  Whiner?  Jeez maybe I will start a home for whiners?  There is something golden in your whining.  It is telling you that you are fed up.  Anyway I think you are opening up a bit here and I am sad to see you beating up on yourself and calling your pleas for help whining.

Much love,
Sea storm

[Lupita]

Wow Sea!! You are full of energy. I also left my narcissistic husband 15 years ago. never remarried. Been alone for all those years. Never fought for child support so he did not get to have my child with him. Not because of selfishness but because he was too bad. I had to take all the burden on my back to protect my son. It was hard, but now I know I did the right thing.
Thank you Sea, and congratulate you for also getting away from your N husband. Those kill your soul, poison your spirit, destroy your person.
Thank God you are not with him anymore.
Lupita

[Lupita]

Good morning dear friends,
Today is Sunday. It will be sunny. I will smile all day. I will say positive things to everybody I can. I will pray for my disoriented students. I will go to church. I will repeat one thousand times, I can be happy. On my own. I do not need anybody's positive reenforcement, I can pat my back my self. I do not need anyboy's care. I can take care of my self.
I will go to church. I will go to the gym. I will go to eat with my son. I will say positive things to my son. God will help me to be a likable person. I will give love. I will feel sorry for other people's pain. I will not feel sorry for my self. I will look for opportunities to help. Tomorrow I will enter my classroom with a smile and sure that I will manage my class with rigor, relevance and relationship. God will help me.   I refuse to clean my house. Not ready for that yet. But I will do laundry. I have to. No more clean underwear. 
Later in the evening i will tell you if I succeeded.
Love to you all. Thank you for reading my posts. Thank you for answering. Thank you for giving me the sensation that I am having a group of friends. Will pray for you all today at church and for this board and his creator.
God bless!!!!
Lupita

[Leah]

God will help me.

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Dear (((( Lupita ))))

God will certainly help you, you have put him first and given him the honor.

Enjoy church today and above all enjoy your time with your lovely son.

You are such a lovely woman Lupita and such a blessing to know.

Thank you for praying for us at your church today.

God bless you and keep you, always.

(( Leah ))

[Lupita]

I tried. I promise you I tried. I stopped going to my old church because the pastor did not like me and asked people not to talk to me. Looking for another church, my boss asked me to go to his church. I have been going there for three weeks. Today I fo there with my wonderful attitude and the first he odes is asking me in public to talk about my classes and I said that neede pray for my sutdents that misbehaved. He knows I was down. He had to setp in the las day of school this week friday, he was there. Then he called me a taker. And he said that for the words I will be condemned and fo my words I will be justified. In front of everybody. I felt so bad. I just said, yes sir. Later I saw him interchanging hugs wiht the father of one of my worst students. HOw can I feel positive. My day is ruined. But still I will try for the rest of the day. I need somebody to tell me something good, but not a fantasy, not something unreal, I need somebody to tell me a tool that I can use, something that I can hold to that will help. Just sayin I am sorry for  your pain does not help. I need materal advise, when I say material I mean something that I can do in the immediate future. Not transfer, have to wait till the end of the year. Not change career, that takes a lot of time ans thinking, not going from one hell to another. I need advise on how to enter my classroom tomorrow, what to answer when my boss ask me things, he ex[pect me to say something I do not feel, how to behave, materially what to say and how to behave.
Please, help me.
Lupita

[Hopalong]

How about, Lupita, talking to your body?
Sometimes when the thoughts are defeatist and the emotions recycling, you can approach something through your body's path and have good results. Here's what I suggest for tomorrow...not in an exaggerated way, but in a real way:

--stand up straight (imagine a string lifting you from the top of your head, gently tugging up.)
--hold your shoulders back a bit but relaxed
--hold your chin up (level)
--when anyone speaks to you, and you look in response, make eye constant and keep your gaze level and steady
--speak more slowly than usual, with pauses
--take deep, slow steadying breaths every few minutes. Exhale slowly and completely and breathe in the same way. Breathe in for a slow count of one, breathe out for a slow count of two
--when you walk, now and then intentionally notice your feet making contact with the ground with each step, rolling from the heel forward

Etc.
And meditate twice a day for 20 minutes, morning and evening, no matter what

hope this is helpful advice...sending you strength
Hops

[Lupita]

Thank you Hop. I will copy and paste in my word so I can read it in school I do not have internet in the classroom nor computer. I take my laptop.
Thank you Hop.
God bless you.

[Lupita]

Good morning dear friends:
Today I will show a face with out feelings. I wiil not show my disgust when they something disrespectful. I will document everything these students say a do. I will take them to the media center again to do research and typin. Besides there are a couple of quizzes they can take on the internet. That way I have witnesses when they do something bad that sure they will deny later. I will talk in a noraml voice with no alterations. Plus Hopalong advises are wonderful. Please, friends pray for me. I will breath slowly and walk the way I have been explain, keep my chin up. Wish me luck.
I apoogize for not writing in other threads. I am too stressed out by my job now. Cant think.
Thank you.
Lupita

[Lupita]

Please guys, friends, please, advise, please. I am waiting to hear your advises. Help!!!!
Lupita

[Lupita]

I am going to send them to the office at the first back talking.

[Hopalong]

Good job!
Yes indeed send them to the office!

You are doing your part as a teacher and it is not up to you to negotiate with the childish.

Let the prinicpal do THEIR job of administering discipline.

You keep standing up, walking tall, and using your voice effectively and calmly.

Kids will know there's a new teacher in the room.

DO NOT KEEP SCORE. JUST KEEP DOING THESE THINGS FROM MOMENT TO MOMENT.

STAY IN THE PRESENT. JUST DEAL WITH EACH MOMENT.

love,
hops

[Lupita]

Dear Friends:
Thank you for thinking of my Monday. The first period was better today. Not good.  Just better. They did not refuse to work. They did what they had to do. With an attitude. Whining, complaining. But they sat and did it. Also two ladies started talking and laughing and ignored it. One student cold me silly. I said: I treat you with respect and I demand the same from you. He said: Oh I a sorry. So, after the sorry, I tried to forget. Changed hi from computer. One student was getting hundreds in the computer quizzes. i said: It is impossible. Nobody gets hundred the first time. He said: Then I accomplished the impossible. I knew that the one that had called me silly had study a lot so he was helping him. So when I moved him from his side, he did not get any other hundred. After that, that prick behaved for the rest of the period. So, tomorrow, I will sit them like today, away from each other. Also, I will give them a quiz. This quarter they will be surprised with their grades. Not very good. I will call a parent tomorrow. Also, anybody who disrespect me will be sent to the office. Also, on Wednesday I will give them a treat to all my classes except first period. They do not deserve it. Also, Friday I will give a movie to everybody except the first period. I will talk to the bible teacher and he will talk to those. Also the team leader will come visit my class on Thursday. I will ask the principal to visit that class too. I will think of something else.
The breathing, and slow talking is wonderful. It makes me feel more secure. keeping chin up is good.  Hope that tomorrow is better. I will give this pricks a low grade, because this kind of behavior has to be reflected in their grades. Some how. Quizzes, and tests.
I will tell you how it was tomorrow Tuesday. I am in the hands of God.
Love
 Lupita