I find that there is synchonicity in life. I have been thinking about people who have been victimized and how society undermines the victim and often supports the offender.
Last night I went to a friend's who is gay. He has a new boyfriend and they invitied me for dinner. The dinner was amazing and lovingly prepared. This was the first time I have been to a social occasion like this since my exN left. I was wondering if I would collapse in tears and was nervous about going. It turned out really well and was fun.
One person there mentioned that he had been involved with a pathological liar. Someone teased him about this and obviously showed no empathy for the poort guy. I asked hiim to tell me more and told him a little of what had happened to me. The person he was iinvolved with told him he was a physician and pretended to go off to work every morning. He even wore a strethoscope. Not only that but he had conned his landlord into believing he was a big time land developer and the landlord was going to help him finance purchasing the property he rented. The reality was that this guy was working in a fairly low paying job. He has also posed as a nurse in a old people 's home. The liar was very charming and very intelligent. He comes from Texas. I found the story eirie and familiar.
Boy, did the guy who told me the story tell his story to the right person. I told him where to get more information and how to connect with a chat line. We went to a quiet corner and I asked him how he felt. This was a very masculine and professional guy and he said, " I felt like I had been raped emotionally". I validated that feeling and let him know how normal he was in his intense feelings for such violation.
As he went on with his story he said that his friends were researching this Pathological liar and had contacted other victims. They were very afraid of retaliation from the path. liar. They were afraid for their lives. When my friend talked to the police, they said they were aware of the guy. That is all.
Not that he was going to be deported, not that he was charged for impersonating a nurse. Oh, yes, the Nurses bulletin even mentioned him and warned people to report him if he tried to pass as a nurse again.
I still feel kind of frozen from hearing that story and being reminded of what happens with a pathologixal liar. I cried a lot the next day and remembered many things that happened and how I dissociated rather than face that I was being used and not loved. It is a hard thing to heal from.
Thank god that I can identify sociopaths, psychopaths etc. At least I think I can. My sister said that when a psychopath was admitted to the Psych ward the nurses were warned not to get sucked in by his charm. Nevertheless, they were charmed and fell into his thrall. Eventually, they were pitted against each other by the psychopath who enjoyed the benefit of being the orchestrater. Creepy.
One person said to my friend, after hearing about what a monster the path. liar was , " Why were you sucked in?" implying that my friend must be a dolt to get tricked and involved with such a duplicitous person. I thought that was interesting and aweful. The poor guy was a wreck over this experience.
Anyway, he said that the liar was wonderfullly charming, funny, informed and passionate. There were no signs that he was a psycho.
In the end, it was the friend's of the victim who researched the predator. I think that is so excellent. Good frends to have. They found out plenty.
I think I owe it to the next person I see being systematically used by a Narcissist / Psychopath to do a little digging myself.
Any thoughts?
Sea storm
