Emotional Rape

[Leah]

Emotional Rape is very real and is a serious violation of the soul, according to "Emotional Rape Syndrome"

my book purchased and read 2 years ago - which presently, I am rereading. 

"Victims of Emotional Rape feel extremely "used" and fear they will never be able to love or trust again."

"Emotional Rape is a very powerful experience and recovery will not exclude pain or effort"

.............. for me it has been 4 years hard work.


"Just as the butterfly struggles to escape from it's cocoon, so you can expect to be transformed when you emerge as a survivor."

For me that is a beautiful and reassuring image.


Again, most affirming is that emotional rape can happen to anyone regardless of background or rank.

Yes, I have been raped, emotionally, and denial is useless.

However, my heart is filled with butterfly days as a survivor

Leah x



Edit:   "Emotional Rape is so much a part of our culture that we are not only blind to it, we also sanction and promote it" 

[DivineSunshine]

Me too, Leah, me too. 

Feels yucky, but we are all on our way to becoming the butterflies we are meant to be!  We can help each other and help those that come after us!

Fly away home baby! 

Aren't butterflies beautiful?!!  I keep a picture of a monarch next to my bed to remind me to not give up.

(((((((((Leah))))))))))

[Leah]

Gosh (((( Sunny ))))

Thats a lovely idea

Oh I never thought to do that (not arty you see)

Driving into town tomorrow - going to find a pretty butterfly picture.

Warm wishes & blessings

Leah x

[debkor]

Oh yeah!

I have been um what would you call it? Verbally raped!  by means of phone calls.  Not once but for quite sometime about 15 years ago.  It was when I had left my exn and moved home.  The phone calls would always come when my mom and dad was out of the house so they knew my parents time schedule and that I would pick up the phone. The telephone company could only do a random trace so I never knew for sure who it was. But I think I do.
I had said something one time. I know who you are you have been traced I have a private det., which I did not. The phone calls stopped dead after that.
I believe it was my cousins husband. I am very close to my cousin and I know she had no clue nor would I tell her. I would of devastated her and there was no way to prove it. 
I just couldn't bare to even mention this to her.  I kept it secret till this day. I'm uncomfortable talking about it.
I block it cause I can't prove it and I don't think I would want to.

Love
Deb

[Leah]

Emotional Rape Syndrome by Michael Fox Ph.D explains how there is always a Hidden Agenda .....

"The most significant distinguishing feature of emotional rape is the presence of a Hidden or Dishonest - Agenda"


Deb, your phone call situation most likely had an agenda.  Leah


The book has lots of real life examples.  What is harrowing is the reality that unlike sexual rape, emotional rape is an experience which the victim is not aware of until, possibly many years after the damaging process began. 

[debkor]

Leah,

I'm going to get that book.  Thank you. 
When you said Hidden Agenda or Dishonest Agenda I rememberd that he did about a year later have an affair on my cousin and was caught with a private det who had followed them and hired by the grils husband. He came crying to me and I said I know what you did to me.  He never admitted it or denied it.  He just looked at me.

What a friggin perverted weirdo.

Deb

[Hopalong]

Hi Deb...

EWWW.

He never admitted it or denied it.  He just by [looking] at me.

You were right, he was wrong, and you have nothing to be ashamed about because you did not ask for that kind of sick attention from him no matter what.

(I got an obscene phone call at work this week. I was sitting by my colleague, a very nice 38 y/o man who's married to a 50 y/o woman...and he said, what you women go through!)

Holy moley. The good guys ARE out there!

Hops

[debkor]

You know whats really annoying? when I just get done typing here and go to post it and MY SERVER GOES DOWN

I went to get the book today and they had none.  They really didn't have anything that good in this store. They had Dr. Phil up the wadzoo.  I was excited about getting it and looked forward to reading tonight*sigh* I guess I'll just have to watch the 4th series of the show 24. I'm on a marathon trying to catch up.
I'm getting so good that I may be able to join an anti-terriost Unit soon.   I wonder if I could put that on my resume?
Hm,  After many hours of watching Jack Bower for four years of never sleeping and always on the run I feel I could add  as a very valuable team member.  Not only can I never sleep and catch the terrorist I can also counsel them(Dr.Phil). If they are in need of medical attention or shot I can operate(Grey's Anatomy) while I'm singing(American Idol). er you think I am watching to much TV?

Anyway hope you all are having a good weekend.


Love Deb

[Leah]

Emotional Rape Syndrome - extract from Page 20

"Emotional rape victims have a two-fold responsibility to themselves; to resist the natural tendancy toward self-blame

and not to unquestioningly accept the critical judgement of others"


    There is widespread attitude in our society that the victim in such cases must be the one who is to blame, a feeling

which encouages individuals to blame themselves for everything that happens to them.

    But there is a huge volume of empirical evidence, in the form of case studies, which shows that this "victim-is-guilty" presumption 

is not infallible.


"Emotional Rape is so much a part of our culture that we are not only blind to it, we also sanction and promote it"


Exchanging the Lie:

If society fails to acknowledge powerlessness, it has to assume that the victims of emotional rape are weak, lack intelligence, or somehow chose what happened to them.

And there is a subconscious agreement to exchange the lie that we are all in control, which is a dangerous state of affairs.