ER overload

[Hopalong]

Hi Deb,
I'm in bed with my favorite tea, my laptop, sun steaming in the windows and I'm having serious thoughts of scheduling a massage!

Thanks...((((Deb))))

Hops

[Hopalong]

Hi Leslie,
Warm welcome to you, compassion from a caregiver the next trench over, and thanks for the hopeful sound of someone setting healty boundaries.

I'm glad you're here.
Good for you.

I'm learning

Hops

[debkor]

Hops,

Oh Tea!!  thanks for reminding me I just bought some green tea and forgotten.  I love it with honey.  Gets me away from the coffee.  Glad you resting.

Love Deb

[Sela]

Hiya Hops:

So good to read about you taking it easy and thinking about inviting a big, strapping, muscular, macho-blondo warm-handed masseuse over.......

............ ............

........................ ..........well.....maybe you weren't exactly thinking about that.....or were you? 

Seriously happy though.....to hear that you are feeling better and glad I was any help whatsoever!  Anytime!  Anytime Hops!    Always glad to help in the least.  Yes!  Reasonable is good!  That's a good one to keep up there next to the guilt shelf....sprinkle some reasonable on....when the shelf starts shaking eh?

but nobody was attacking toxic guilt until this generation, I think. So I don't so much think they consciously wanted me to feel guilt, as guilt was just the emtional language they (really she, more than dad) knew. I don't think it was a conscious plot to induce guilt.

I've been thinking about this too and I agree.  I think some previous generations (many of them?) were also "taught" this guilt thing and ya......it's like an emotional language they just knew (probably without a whole lot of analyzing too eh?) and so it was passed on to us without much consideration at all.

....NAMING it. That's like the little rivulet beginning to trickle out of the ground that eventually carves a river you ride to freedom....

I love the way you worded that!  It's so poetic!  Yep.  A river ride.  In my case, bouncing off a few rocks and running some dandy rapids but hey!  Haven't lost my paddle yet!!  You either eh Hops!!

Glad you're taking care of you!  Keep doing that!

  Sela

[Lupita]

Thank you Hops. Thank you so much fo rtaking the time to answer me. Thank you for honoring my questions. It is a very important learning experience to read about your thoughts. Thank you again.
Lupita

[oc]

Hops:  You can only do what you can only do!!!  Very sound words that a friend of mine said to me, or something like that!!

Simmer down (like you say to me) breathe................go see your mom but don't do the vigil thing.  She needs her rest anyway.  I remember being in the hospital for two weeks and didn't get one nap.  Every time I went to nod off, I got a visitor.  The best two days of my life is when my youngest was born and we got snowed in.  NO VISITORS.  Just make sure you visit.  Bring a nice plant and a card.....kiss her on the forehead.  It's all good!

[teartracks]

((((((((((((((((Hi Hops,)))))))))))))))))))

Hugs from one who understands where you are.

tt

[Hopalong]

update:
Mom's settled in for at least one more night, getting antibiotics (has a fever, they're not sure of the infection source), has had scans--it's not bowel or lung, and was cheery when I went by. She has no recollection of last night and just accepted my explanation that she "has a bug" and they're going to help her feel better...

If she's in there 3 nights total she'd qualify for some inpatient PT at the place where she was before. It may be necessary as she's weak in the first place and loses muscle tone SO fast when she's bed-bound...if she can't walk, she can't be here.

Yes, I'd like the rest. But I have fears if she goes to the nursing home she won't be back.

All's well for now, and one day at a time.

Thanks everyone for your support, you are priceless.

love
Hops

[Gaining Strength]

Thanks for the update Hops.  I have been thinking about you both. - GS

[Lupita]

Dear, very dear Hop,
Today is a new day. How is your mother today? We are thinking of you. Is she still in the hospital? Is she doing OK? We pray for you.
Love,
Lupita

[reallyME]

My Abnormal Psych teacher does not have a favorable opinion of hospitals in general, and, he makes a point that might be something for you to keep an eye on in protection of your mother while she is there.

He said that a good many of the patients in the hospital are clinically depressed in some form or another.  How do doctors handle the depression?  Usually they ignore it.  When someone is not treated for depression, it can go into all sorts of bad behaviors...then, the doctors label those patients "problem" or "difficult" patients.  EVentually the nurses/docs get sick of the patients and things just sort of "happen" to them.  Some of them become statistics.  PLease, if you need to, have the medical staff check your mother for psychological issues and treat her for them if needed too.

Just a thought

~Laura

[Hopalong]

Thanks, GS, Lupita, Laura.
She's still in there, cheerful, comfortable.
The staff is great. This hospital really is a fine place.

I actually think she's stimulated by the comings and goings and less depressed than when she's at home, Laura. I did get her doctor to put her on an antidepressant last summer and I'm sure it's helped.

I don't know if she'll be discharged tomorrow or the next day but the infection is clearing up, she looks much better. She wants to come home. My only concern is whether she's strong enough to maneuver around the house. They're doing a PT evaluation, so we'll see. If she's too weak she may have to go back to the rehab center for a week or so. I don't like that, because I think she'd go downhill. But she's been in bed for about 5 days and at her age with her poor balance, that's not good.

Thanks for checking in,
Hops

[teartracks]

((((((((((((((((Hops and Wobbly Mom))))))))))))))))))

tt

[Lupita]

Good morning Hop. I have not seen you posting. Miss you very much. Hope to see you soon. Your comforting words are always needed. You always say nice things, nover judgemental, never critical, always helpful. Need you.
Today is Wednesday. How is your mother? How is your daughter?
God bless you.
Lupita

[Hopalong]

Hi Lupita,
I've been working and catching up on sleep. When my mother's in the hospital I sleep very deeply. It's as though when she's home I have a high-alert that never quite switches off, always aware of her movements, etc. So some deep sleeping has been a relief.

Work is busy busy but very satisfying and I'm really happy in the job...love it. I am so grateful for that change. It's huge.

My D is a bit prickly again, anxious about deadlines in her life, and hypersensitive to anything I might say, so I tread carefully. She did call to ask about her grandmother when I emailed, so that was good.

My mother is fine as of yesterday evening, and I'll check on her again tonight. I think she'll be discharged soon. Maybe tomorrow.

thanks for asking, Lupita,
Hops