first day at the therapist~~~~~

[isittoolate]

Hi all~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

First day with my therapist and she is nice. Good?… is to be discovered. We are going to work together once a week. $106.00 a shot OUCH! There goes my daughter's inheritance!!! Ha. Ha and she wants me well!!!! For what???

Today she just learned what you all know and interspersed with asking, “How do you feel talking about this now?”

$106 x 52 weeks = $5512.00 per year,  and if it takes 20 years?  $110,240.00

Lord! Couldn't I buy plenty of birthday and Xmas gifts with that, but then I would be 88 and dead so let's say 10 years = $55, 120.00 and I am 78. Who the hell cares?????  Lord!! I'll need dentures by then.

To be or not to be.That is the question,
Whether it be nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune-
yada yada-- blah blah

Whew boy!!

Izzy

[Gaining Strength]

And that was the winning answer!!!

[Hopalong]

OY.

Miss Hops

[Hopalong]

Izzy,
Can you discuss sliding scale with the T?
What about some form of public health funding?
Seems outrageous...

But good for you for working at it anyway,
and I wouldn't take anyone else's time estimate.
Everyone's different...

hugs,
Hops

[isittoolate]

Yes GS,

I realize that this thread is not exciting, but I just announced my start and the.......................... forecast!

izzy  xx & oo

[isittoolate]

Hi Hops
OY--is that Yiddish?

I somehow sense that she won't be able to break my cemented box of feelings. I will TRY and WORK WITH her, but...........

She did say something that is true--that I don't know who I will be--and I am afraid--- and I said I might be some snobby little sh*t -------------------------------------and she laughed.


                                                      

love
Izzy

[isittoolate]

Maybe I am, bean

It kicks in at the oddest times!!



Now this is weird because we are supposed to be doing for ourselves, and I just realized I am doing this to have my daughter be nicer to me-----


WRONG, WRONG WRONG!!

I am such a dimwit, but I still require therapy.

xx
Izzy

[Lupita]

Hi Izzi, good for you. If you can afford it with out hurting you groceries, I would go for it. If you buy beautiful thigs with that moeny but you are feeling bad with your self, you will not be able to enjoy those beautiful things you bought. So, my thought is that, if it does not affect your food and basic needs, go  girl!!! If you connect with her, if she helps you understand your mind, I would go for it.
I was waiting to hear from you about this. I will be praying that you have a successful therapy.

By the way, does anybody know where can I go to find a therapiest that charges on a sliding scale? Website? How to find out about the personality of the therapist before you have to pay for the first sassion?

Thank you.

My best wishes to you Izzi. And by the way,  the topic is very important and interesting, at least to me.
Thank you for sharing.

Love
Lupita

[Hopalong]

You're doing it to be nice to you, Izzy.
When difficult moments come (and go)...keep your eyes on that prize!
Once you've reconnected and re-loved yourself, other relationships will sort themselves out.
You won't be prickly or scared or confused about communication...you'll see. It'll just start making sense.
You won't worry so about reading between the lines because when you love yourself and feel peaceful inside, it's more natural to simply read lines. Not poke with a stick at the spaces between.

Lupita,
Most good Ts will have a free initial consultation with new clients, and it's perfectly fine to ask that question when you book your first appointment.

For sliding scale, I'd suggest calling a local mental health center, they will know. Any university psychiatry or psychology department should know, too.

Good luck, it's great that you're doing this...

Hops

[isittoolate]

Thank you Lupita for your very kind post.

I appreciate it!

Thank you Hops

What I said about spending my daughter's in heritance................ is a bit like steve's post??????? Good and evil?

xx
Izzy

[Hopalong]

Hi Izzy,
I think you're very hurt, that your D did not know how to stay close to you. You blame it mostly on her xNh, but you must be partly angry at her too for not being strong enough to make room for you in her life.

But if she does email you, does communicate some, and does express a wish for you to find healing and peace...

Who knows what doors may open, after you've been able to work with your T and let go of the hurt.

BTW, I don't think your T will crack open your feelings. She can't.

But you can let yourself open up. Little by little.

hugs,
Hops

[isittoolate]

Thanks Hops,

Oh yes I am angry with ex SIL, and also at d'ter both, but I am beginning to feel as well than I caused this too.

How? I might find out in therapy!

Daughter says I don't make sense and I know that--you saw it too!!!!


From my previous post From A previous post is more accurate! see I am learning....
"I somehow sense that she won't be able to break my cemented box of feelings. I will TRY and WORK WITH her, but...........

She did say something that is true--that I don't know who I will be--and I am afraid--- and I said I might be some snobby little sh*t -------------------------------------and she laughed."

Then you said--
"BTW, I don't think your T will crack open your feelings. She can't."

I know it's up to me but I didn't say that--- it is, with the help of a therapist.

When I cut down sentences, d'ter says she doesn't undestand me and says it in a way that makes me feel dumb.

I know people cannot read minds so now I must be more explanatory in all ways

Love
Izzy