How pathetic can my N get

[DivineSunshine]

ok---i just dodged a bullet with my n husband.  i haven't posted very much lately because i busted up my knee about two weeks ago and had to have surgery on it on Friday.  4 days ago.

Today, my  NH ends up throwing dishes around the kitchen because he was mad about the 2 year old ----who he left unsupervised for 20 minutes----for coloring his arm and face with markers.  i am tellin ya, he can't handle anything!  So he freaks, starts throwing things around and starts yelling at me while i am sitting with my leg up trying to rest quick so as not to be any more burden on him. 

it's just too much for him to handle!  waa waa.  he needs help!  The rest of the kids are at school and he is alone to help me for once the poor thing.  he has a home office, but he has made such a mess out of his business that he has people calling to ask for their money back that he has promised them constantly.   So he is just SOOOO STRESSED!  Too stressed to help me.

i can't believe he is pulling this.  i have pulled MYSELF through 6 pregnancies and 2 emercency surgeries while not leaning on him at all.  i finally have to lean on him and he can't do the simplest things to help me.  Day-to-day stuff. 

i know i need to leave, but since my leg is broken and i am on crutches to use the restroom only, i can't yet. 
he saw how  upset i was and then told me that he couldn't do anything right in my book and that i would never forgive him for freaking out at the 2 yo. and throwing things around and yelling.  of course he wasn't yelling at me.  He says.

of course he WAS!  I say. 

he insists on asking his 70 yo mommy to come to 'help'.  She is getting ready for surgery herself, but he doesn't care, as long as he doesn't have to lift a finger.  But then he blames me for being angry at her for taking my kids out of my house a few months ago against my wishes just because her told he to do it.  She snuck away with them behind my back so my NH could blast me emotionally and throw me around for the evening because I ticked him off. 

yeah, i am mad.  of course i am mad at her.  There is no one to help me but him and the kids.  He doesn't want to and the kids can't do anything good enough for him.  We have 5 between the ages of 8-15 who can help, but aren't perfect.  He wants perfect.  Doesn't matter though, if he gets his mom here, all he will do is rip on how bad of a job she is doing too.

he finally left 'to work'---what a joke.  he doesn't know the meaning.

anyways, had to vent, i can't believe he is making this injury and surgery of mine----ABOUT HIM!!!

sorry about the weird punctuation, one of my shift keys isn't working.  i had to use a very old computer that i could get my hands on for a minute.  i don't know when i will be able to check back in.  i guess when i can hobble in private----ha ha!

Take care everyone!  Thanks for listening. 

Sunny

[Hopalong]

Oh Sunny.
I'm so sorry.
What pure undiluted MISERY.

Only good I see in this is that it's more REASONS (not that you need them) to plan your way out.

Sending you courage, endurance, stoicism, strategic thinking, all you need...

You're not alone. While that knee heals other things in you are knitting stronger too.
I will put you in my prayers and I do believe in you.

Funny what can sometimes be the last straw. In my marriage, my H being mean to my child was the moment the switch flipped in my head too.

Hops

[mudpuppy]

How pathetic can my N get

That's kind of like asking how long does it take to count to infinity or how deep is a bottomless pit, isn't it?

mud

[Sela]

Keeping you in my prayers Sunny.

It sounds so frustrating but it won't be forever.

Sela

[spyralle]

Oh Sunny..  How awful ..... You sound like a really brave and courageous woman...  Are you planning an escape any time soon?

Spyralle x

[DivineSunshine]

Thanks you guys!  I really needed some support and encouragement.  I feel bad for not just appreciating every little crumb he throws my way.  Sometimes.  I claims I just can't SEE how much he cares. 
As he ignores me, leaves me in a cold room, brings me whatever mivrowaves ruined food he can throw in (when he remembers), yells and screams at the kids, compalins the house isn't clean enough.  You name it, he has done it.  He feels he is just entitled to everything everyone around him has to give and then some.  He left me home alone last night with all the kids until 1 am.  Claims he was catching up with his work at his office.  All of a sudden he is interested in working for a living.  Just since he realized he would have to be here to help me.  He says he is just so overwhelmed be trying to look after me and run his mess of a business,  I am thinking, but I don't say it....if you wouldn't make such a huge mess out of your business and consequently our finances, then you COULD be available to help me. 
I know now he decided last night he didn't have to put up with me "crap" anymore.  He is planning to leave soon.  Don't even know if he will stay long enough for me to get onto my feet (literally) but he will make it seem like he is the saint and I am the unreasonable bitch.  He already has his family acting weird to me so I can only guess what he is telling them.  I will be truly alone when I tell him enough is enough.  He has made sure I have maintained no friends because he disapproves or drove away or made impossible and friends I tried to make through the years.  I find myself alone.  I have no FOO left either since they are all still involved in a cultish religion which I had to extricate myself from last year and as a result, none of them are in contact with me.  Seems I have become the scapegoat for them as well. 
Oh well, I know I can do this, but this knee injury has caught me by surprise for sure!  Thanks so much for the support.

Sunny

[gratitude28]

Sunny, I really hope you will be ready to go once you are feeling better. I worry about your kids in such a situation. They need to be in a stable place.
Love, Beth