Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Revenge on the NPD

<< < (2/3) > >>

write:
I believe in karma, so if you ill-treat others ( even if they seem to deserve it ) it will come back to you.
Find some place else for your anger, and move on.

Good luck.

clj_writes:
I strongly agree on the karma part.  Plus why add to the pain that already exists on this planet?

Also as a behavioral psychologist (your listed occupation), I would think you would see even more poignantly how his N-ness did not begin with him!

I'm in sync with the "heal your own pain and move on" philosophy.

Tokyojim:
Thank you everyone for your thoughts and suggestions.  You are right.  Nothing good can come from seeking revenge.

As I look back on the 40 years that I have known the N, this is only the second time that I was enraged and considered revenge.  In both situations, I was vunerable.  In the first, I was on my way to Viet Nam and naturally frightened and shaken; his inhumanity was unbelieveable.  In this second, I was going through a divorce.

During the rest of the time, I was able to "accept him as he is."  That was because I was actively interested in my family, studies, work, etc. and my life was enjoyable and pretty full.

I am returning to that point soon and will not contact him again unless it is from a position of "relaxed strength."

Thank you all!

Sally:
Just wanted to add my two cents. The business of leaving cold...just completely dropping away, I believe, is another tactic of the Narcissist. It has been the most painful part of the relationship I have had with the N in my life (in addition to my mother).  I think it is the ultimate blow that says to the victim...you were nothing to me.  I think it is also a game they play to suck you back in.  So, I would agree.  Let him go. It's much safer in the long run.  Sally

Anonymous:
Sally,

Thank you for your encouragement.

I have a question.  In your experience, if a person does not respond to the N when he is cut off, will the N ultimately try to re-establish contact?

I am now "screening" my phone calls and will not answer his calls until I am having more fun.  If he complains later, I will make some simple excuse, like my phone wasn't working, I was going to bed early, or whatever.  At this point, I do not care if he believes me.

Thanks!

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page