Hi Anastasia,
Well I know my mother has done this a lot. I wouldn't go so far as the illness making up, and exagerating, but the
frigility (in terms of 'emotional fragility') thing rings a bell big time.
One thing In particular as well is the convenient
forgetting.
I'm still in two minds as to whether this forgetting is regret at saying said things BUT at the same time my mother has in her life apologised Twice to me for things in her life and no more, (maybe even Once actually now that I think of it!) I remember it clearly 'cos its the
only time she has. She can't bring herself to do it. The one time she did it was totally out of the blue and after a fall out with her boyfriend, which makes it odd, and it probably wasnt her being really sorry, and crying for my sake at all, more herself. Although maybe she had a glimpse of what shed done and realsied, albeit breifly). She said 'I'm sorry if i've ever hurt you!' I said, 'you haven't' of course, on cue, without asking (realising?) myself if she had.....
One time in particular i recal me telling her i might not be able to work for a while due to being off sick with depression. She turned to me and said soemthign really shitty like 'well, you can get your self up to *******, then!!). ******* is the 'mental' hospital in my town!
This should probably have hurt me, but being emotionally numb it didn't, although it must have registered in some small way because i brought it up (her saying that) a while after, to which she denied ever saying it.
Even now when i ask about my dad, whom I never knew, its all about
her worry. I recal her saying to her bf on the phone after I said to her id want to speak about it some time in the future, the words....'I thought (when he asked me) , 'oh here we go!!! (in a *roll eyes* way)', like its getting in the way of her happy little life. Makes me mad.
She even said something along the lines of 'Whats brought this on?' I.e. 'Whats made you want to talk about that?' As if somethings spoiled the way thigns are, or 'whos put that idea into your head, when you were perfectly happy before?' (Haha, yeh like everythigns fine with me mum, except for countless meds, a
ruined non-life, and 2+ years of therapy!) Yeh, whos been troubling ***** and making him think for himself and realise his feelings are valid???!!!!' How dare they!!!!
Grrr,!!!!!!
