For my daughter

[sammy]

I have three children and a ex-husband that is a full blown N.   I have been divorced for over four years and my ex-N will not leave me alone.  He had an affair and I left him.  He has seeked revenge on me ever since.  I constantly feel like I have to start over.  He is trying to drain all my money by taking me to court constantly.  The worst thing is dealing with the torture he inflicts on my children especially my oldest child.  She dreads spending any time with him and is afraid of him (and his rejection) constantly.  It is very fustrating to have to continully send her back over to him when all he does is damage her.  I read all the reprecutions that all over the people that have posted have suffered from having an N for a parent and it is horrible to have no way to stop this pain.  I am constantly overwhelmed and fustruated.  I worry everyday for all of my children.

[rosencrantz]

sammy - the pain of having an N for a parent is the lack of honesty.  If you can be upfront about the reality of the situation, then you'll have stood up for justice in a difficult situation.

If you can value the integrity and individuality of your children, then they'll be able to grow strong.  
R

[Anonymous]

I agree about honesty it is just a fine line between bad mouthing their father and telling the truth.  I have  a daughter who does not want to accept what he is or doing.  Honesty has been the oldest ones savior.

[Karin as guest]

Hi Sammy,
Keep loving your children unconditionally and let them know that you do.
Really listen to them.
Be their anchor and never give up. One day your children will be able to set their own rules with him.
And remember it's important to look after yourself too. Get all the help that you need.
Best Wishes to you.