Caring For One Another...How Well Do We Do On VESMB...Care To Make Comments?

[WRITE]

Once a friend didn't wave to me across the street.  I guess I didn't overpersonalize it at the time for I asked her about it later.  Come to find out, she was terribly near sighted.

I'm not surprised at your funny story teartracks, the last two or three years I have been paying attention more and the number of times I have been at 'cross-purposes' or in miscommunications with people has been illuminating.

For sensitive people we have to remind ourselves- yes we're picking up the vibe BUT we can't possibly know what it means entirely or even if it's about us!

Even with a doctor once my therapist knows her and she told me afterwards there were crossed wires all round. And I was so certain that doctor had been disrespectful and unkind. I guess once our emotional responses are triggered we are less open-minded.

Especially if it's stuff like rejection or abandonment and trauma from our past.......

[gratitude28]

One point I wanted to make here. Sometimes when I am crunched for time, I read only the very first in a series of posts. If the person has a question or needs someinput, I answer to that. Once I go back and have time to read through, I often see that the thread has meandered in different directions.

Also, I have posted things I wanted others to comment on in the middle of a thread. This is a bad idea as it often gets buried. If you want or need to be heard, start a new thread so that people understand the importance of your words. I don't think anyone here ignores a plea for understanding or help.

I think this is a fabulous group and I missed you all last week!!!!!!!!!
Love, Beth

[teartracks]

Hi axa,

Ignored - If people do not reply/add comments to my posts I assume they are not relevant to them, which is fine as I do not reply to everyones posts.

I think this too.  Another feature of not responding could be that they are highly sensitive about the  subject  and fear that talking about it on a thread or anywhere for that matter may trigger their own deep wounds. 

Racing to judgment about the behavior of others on the board is a luxury I can't afford.  It's all I can do to keep my can of worms contained.

tt

[gratitude28]

I like this S&S - "Not expecting perfection anymore."

I am also not taking everything personally

[dragonsamm]

Hi
Some of you may remember me, I was posting pretty regularly a few months ago.  FYI I almost always felt welcomed, affirmed, and validated.  Tremendous help, those people have been.  Never felt manipulated.  Or attacked.  Sometimes I felt unheard, which seems ironic considering the name of this board, but its inevitable that sometimes others just don't hear us the way we need them to.  That's where face-to-face friends are best. If you have them.

For those of you who listened to me in my darker moments, I am doing much better now, due mostly to a series of intense dialogs between two of my closest brothers and myself, all of whom are working diligently on overcoming the "crap" of our childhood.  As the singer once said, "He ain't heavy, he's my brother."  You people have been "brotherly" to me, and I appreciate all your support.  I hope I was able to lend same to some of you.  I likely won't be back here, thank you for all you give.
                 (((((((((((((((((((((((((( to all ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

~~dragonsamm

[teartracks]

dragonsamm,

I sure do remember you.  So glad things are going well. 

You know, when we shake all of our experiences on the board down, I think they will be very similar to what you describe.  I've felt some of just about everything you and others have spoken of, positive and negative, but I think the board is a hawling success, and that it brings help and understanding to us all about narcissism.

Good to hear from you.  Best of everything to you.

tt 

[reallyME]

Hey Sam, I remember you too!  Glad to hear you are working through things with your kin!  It really helps to have your family stand by you, even if it means standing by you in a situation like this.

~L

[Margo]

Hello everyone,

In the week just past,  expressions of feeling neglected have popped up on different threads.  So that is what prompted this thread. 

I'll start with a comment.

On the board, some, but not all the time I have felt:

Cared for
Ignored
Affirmed
Manipulated

Edit:  Now if you wish to cast a vote, you can go to Storm's thread.

tt

I'm lucky that I can come to this board and read older threads, up to date threads, threads I've responded to and/or had responses to and get something from it.  I always feel cared for when I post and people give me their own truths in response.  Even if I get just one response and nothing more.  Even if I respond and no one responds to me.  I'm still getting something from the interaction between all.... on the board.   I don't feel like I've been neglected but..... if I did.... I guess I'd start a thread like this one and ask for some input.  Sometimes it just comes down to..... don't ask, don't get.  We're all a bit mired, on and off.  It's hard to be very responsive daily.  At least for me it is.  I don't post every day and sometimes don't even check my e mails.   

I post when something speaks to me and I feel I can add something, for someone's benefit.  That helps me solidify lessons I've learned.  I love it when other's do the same for me..... whether I agree or not.  I get something from opinions that differ from my own.  Margo

[Hopalong]

Hi Margo,
How are things going for you?

Hops