my personal cheerleader

[Hopalong]

I am wishing quite hard that I had a close friend or mate here in my 3D world who would be interested in my daily experience. Not in boring detail, but just someone who would be somewhat tuned into me. Know what I mean?

I had a small panic attack tonight, haven't in some time. It followed a day of not feeling too well, being with a friend Sunday who was having her own panic trouble, feeling of confusion and guardedness about my boss (who's now being nice again), then (this is embarrassing) watching Tony Soprano have a panic attack on TV! (Jeez. One can carry empathy too far.)

I'm okay but I am lonely. As I try to get going on my little business, I find I'm more pressured than even normal because there was a big tax bill and my D's recent doctor stuff. So I probably need to wait on the big fabric order that will start the whole thing rolling. I'm feeling pretty disappointed.

I've found the right pattern, a motivated seamstress who needs work, the printer, and I'm taking the small business classes to learn everything I can. I am so sure I can make it into something very special, but the startup costs are scary. It's a few thou I just don't have, and the risk is bigger than I should take right now.

That's hard to assimilate at the moment, because I had been feeling so much joy.

I feel better having vented. It'll be okay. Thanks for listening, dear board.

love
Hops

[teartracks]

((((((((((((((((Hops)))))))))))))))))))

Things are going to be OK.  It's a new day and a special one for you to shine!

tt

[gratitude28]

That is a scary thing, Hops. Are you taking on the business all by yourself then (other than the employee?) What would be the minimum you could invest to get started? Could you possibly borrow it from the bank considering you are so well-prepared? It would be a risk... Just a thought.

What will you be making????? I am so curious!!!!!!

I guess your panic attack was kind of like when I learn a new word... it just so happens I see that word EVERYWHERE. Like the I pass a shop with the word in the window, see it in a magazine, a billboard - and I am thinking, "How did I never see this word before?" But it will be some random word like "Frangiapani." LOL Maybe yesterday was National Panic Attack Day and you just didn't see it on your calendar.

((((((((Hops))))))))))

[debkor]

Oh hops, *hugs*. 

How long do you think you would have to wait on the big fabric thing?

Your already sure you can make it special so it sounds like the risk would be Worth it.
I have faith in you.  I believe in you. 

I have the feeling that you are going to open that business then your good friend/mate, one that is in tune with you is going to happen next.
I see the ball  is going to start rolling and things are going to fit right into place one right after the other for you.

I think this is your time Hoppy!!
 
Don't get discouraged or disappointed it maybe be slower then you want it to be but it's still coming your way. 

Love
Deb

[Healing&Hopeful]

((((((((((((((Hoppy))))))))))))))))))

Wow Hops honey..... Alan Sugar in the making!   

This is amazing, good for you for taking on something with risks and doing what you want to do!  I believe in you Hops, always have and always will.

As to feeling lonely.... I wish I was round the corner to pop in for a cuppa and a natter, but maybe online will do... and maybe at the moment it's a good thing as it gives you time to concentrate on your business, especially as you've gone out there to learn about business and new things. 

I'm really pleased for you hon....

Take care

Hugs

H&H xx

[axa]

Hops,

I understand the feeling of aloneness.  It would be so good to have a supportive partner who was interested in supporting you in whatever way is needed.  I have given up on this, which has been painful.  You are a resourceful, wonderful, kind woman who has a clear and sharp honesty about herself.   I wish I lived near you because I feel we could be 3d friends.  Holding onto yourself can be difficult but it is the way.

Yesterday I called to a neighbour's house.  Her son has just died of cancer aged 28.  It knocked me for six.  I got in my car, wept and thought I need to talk to someone but could not think of anyone.  It felt very very sad and terribly lonely.  It brought up so much of the loss I feel.  I went home and took care of myself and realised that I am the person I can rely on and that is my TRUTH.  I also knew it would pass, not to minimize my pain, but knowing that today I would feel ok helped me. 

With regard to your business, I know that stepping out of the comfort zone is so scary.  All the old voices come up for me. 

Who do you think you are?
Why can't you be happy with what you have?
You will fail?

Challenging these voices is hard work but damm them they kept me in bad places before. 

Keep beathing Hops, Hold yourself and trust yourself,

xxxxxxxxxxxxx and love

axa

[CB123]

Hops,

You have done so much for all of us--wish there was something we could do for you! 

I believe in you, Hops.  This is a season--a time for all the ideas and hopes and dreams to incubate until the time is right for them to be born.  It's hard to wait, but I'll bet the "birth" day is coming up very soon....they have a way of doing that when you least expect it. 

Much love to you, Hops.

CB

[Brigid]

Hi Hops,
I have been feeling all the same stuff as you lately.  I wish I had someone to talk to about the personal fears, anxieties, and what I'm going to do when I grow up issues.  I, too, am looking at a possible new business venture and am actually attending a convention and taking some classes this coming week which will possibly get me started.  It may be something or nothing at all, but at least it creates a potential for breathing new life into me.  Having the money to start something new is an issue for most of us--especially if we are single and living on our own.  At this point, I don't really have to make a financial investment in my idea aside from the cost of traveling to the convention and taking the classes.  But if I really want to make something of it, I probably will have to find some funds.

The anxiety and panic attacks are so debilitating and suck out so much energy.  It is hard to find someone to discuss that with, aside from a therapist.  I just can't afford that anymore.

I send you best wishes that your business plan comes to fruition and you can follow your passion.

Hugs,

Brigid 

[reallyME]

Hey Hoppy!

Know that I'm here for ya as are many others!  I know what a panic attack feels like and I'm so sorry you went through that!  I wanted to post personally for you, cause I know that it can be so wonderful seeing things written right to YOU to encourage and uplift ya.

You have been such a blessing to me.  I realize you aren't a Christian right now, but I'd like to tell you that you'd make an AWESOME one, with all the love and care you've shown people...more than some so-called believers, sadly.

It's all going to be ok, Hops. YOu are in my prayers.

~Laura

[Margo]

I am wishing quite hard that I had a close friend or mate here in my 3D world who would be interested in my daily experience. Not in boring detail, but just someone who would be somewhat tuned into me. Know what I mean?

love
Hops

it's odd but..... I always feel like someone on the outside looking in (here....) at least since my husband found this board.  I see you as one of the regulars and..... you post and share often.... receive support and validation from other regs, it seems to me.  I hope you find more comfort from this board.... I think it's here for the finding.

As for your business.  Start small and work hard towards goals layed out in a sound business plan.  90% research and 10% execution.  That's my advice to you and I wish you more bravery, boldness and the grace to fake those things until you feel them.  Margo

[James73]

Hey Hops, a few thou sounds a lot but it can be gathered, what about selling some stuff on eBay to help curb the initial outlay? If you have any queries about business stuff I did business at A-level and some modules for my degree too, my own business venture is also going well at the mo so I might be able to give you some handy hints, although I'd take these with a pinch of salt as Im not a millionaire...              yet! 
Also you say about over sympathising with the TV and I can relate, Ive decided not to watch any news on TV and only keep up to date on teletext as the news definitely makes me angry at the injustice about, sad because of the pain and suffering I can do nothing about and I also hate the entertainment slant all the news channels and papers give to disasters as well as shoving terrorism and all that crap down our throats 24/7, enough already! I feel alot happier not watching it is almost a relief. Ive also banned myself from watching any depressing soap operas/programs, living vicariously is not for me anymore, i want to live not watch others live instead! Although thats just me, but Ive been asleep too long its now time to strike back as the Jedis say!!   
Peace to all and down with TV!! (apart from Sci-fi shows and the odd sci-fi movie - but yes!! down with everything everyone else likes and not with anything I like!! Yey!!! Hang on...     I dont think this is going to go down to well with you all is it? but hey Im sure youll all get to like Sci-fi eventually   
Hee hee! 
James

[WRITE]

I am wishing quite hard that I had a close friend or mate here in my 3D world who would be interested in my daily experience. Not in boring detail, but just someone who would be somewhat tuned into me. Know what I mean?

absolutely Hops!

It sometimes seems like my life is either too complicated or too mundane in its particular set of challenges....very few people really tune in to me so it is very comforting in this ethereal world where some of you do so well!

Money has been on my mind too, I am going to start a thread about that separately.

It's a source of anxiety all its own.

Love to you.

[cats paw]

  I wish I could offer something more, but what I can offer is my admiration and hope.

cats paw

[axa]

James,

Gave up TV for about a year and my life was enhanced without a shadow of a doubt.  XN missed the news channels, so got sky back.  I was very disciplined after XN left and watched little tv but have slipped back into watching SArah Beanie and Kevin McCloud for hours on end.  I feel ugh from the bloody thing so I have decided that I need to make some rules about it or else give up on my sub to sky.  I do not want to spend any more evening slumped in front of the box finding out about the "integrity" of bulidngs........ new day, new resolution.

Could do with a buisness coach also!

Axa

[Hopalong]

Thank you, thank you CB!
That's just the chuck under the chin I needed.
You're exactly right. A few months' delay until I can make the leap is no disaster, and it helps ensure that it's extremely well thought out. I do believe in my idea, and it's not going to rot on the vine.
Thank you MUCHO.
Meanwhile, i'll keep up the classes and the research and it's still joyful.

I can stay on track building the dream and just realize that when it's going to be real, it's going to be real. Nothing I can do by arguing with reality.

(Or by watching too much TV...I'm glad that came up too. Thanks, Axa!)

love,
Hops