Spring Space

[Hopalong]

Peter Walsh: It's All too Much

Thought it might be a good time to start another thread on organization and decluttering. I saw this author on Oprah just now and I like him very much. He tunes into the emotional realities of clutter and of reclaiming your space. He says the struggle doesn't start with the Stuff. It is about:

1) What kind of life do I want?
2) What do I want from this room?
3) In the sort, then: anything that doesn't serve that vision doesn't belong in the space.

I would like to get this book, and as I need to keep kick-starting myself over and over and over on the organization issue, I thought it would be great to offer and hear others' episodes with spring clutter purging, organizing strategies and successes (or not).

(He walked a couple through a garage they literally hadn't been able to use for 8 years and had the sort done with them in one hour and a half. They fillled a dumpster. It was amazing.)

love
Hops

[isittoolate]

hiya Hops

I  just pretended I was dying last year and went through every room and threw out what I wouldn't want anyone to see.

As well I found things that I don't use anymore (and still wouldn't want anyone to see).

I am all organized. Thr furniture never moves, as it gets in my way.

Love Izzy

[teartracks]

Hi Hops,

As we speak, my room is completely taken apart.  I'm about two days away from being finished. 

I read that you're starting a business.  I am too.  I wasn't getting any traction and finally figured out it's because I didn't have things organized in my personal space.  It was the  insight I needed to correct what was holding me back.  My target day to 'go git 'em business wise is June 1.  I'm the kind that has to have tidy closets and drawers, with pretty good tolerance for things being out of place and cluttered a bit.
Here's wishing you good speed in your business and in the Spring organization efforts.

tt

[Hopalong]

Well jeez, Izz, that's kinda drastic, but it sounds like it worked!

Thank you, TT. It's comforting to know someone else is doing it! Kudos to your drawers.
Uhh...

I had a big insight today. Was lolling (code for lying paralysed on the bed feeling sick that I don't just get up and DO it). Was actually lolling and feeling lonely. I didn't sleep last night. So anyway, there it was. Then my D called and that minute I was able to leap up and get moving, so while we talked, all the clothes got put away, etc.

It was so obvious. I have been talking to my minister a bit about how I notice that I get very weighed under by feelings of isolation, in spite of how busy I am and how many people I "know". A few friends disappointed me with underwhelment over my little business dream and I recognized that a great gap for me, okay at times and an obstacle at other times, is having noone I share my life with. (I'd count NMom, but I can't, really.) I told the m. how much I wished someone would come simply sit in my room a while, and that almost 9 years of virtually never having anyone come into my space (a few girlfriends, a few brief times) has had an impact.

I am working hard to be my own cheerleader, and often succeed and get re-motivated. (Today, I had a great appt. with my SCORE mentor, and it all moved forward another step). But the moment of suddenly having that paralysis lift because I felt connected was so telling. An eye opener.

What I'm really working on, under the "space and organization" topic, is the issue of self-motivation. Doing this process, which I find mostly joyful, for me, and STICKING WITH IT. That's the challenge.

That ring a bell with anyone?

Hops

[poetprose]

Hi Hops..... I've actually been busy gathering things for a yard sale..... we have way to much stuff that we have been hanging onto

books, from when the kids were young..... some older computer games, clothes, old CDS little of this little of that..... my daughter is bringing her stuff over too and we are gonna sit out there until it is all gone

[Hopalong]

Hi Poet,
That's a wonderful idea. My D and I have talked about doing that. It's daunting to do on my own, but I could.

Thank you.

Hops

[axa]

Hops,

Read your piece about what you said to your minister and it brought tears to my eyes.  I am thinking here that I do have friends but I feel alone.  I wonder has it something to do with the fact that we all are alone and maybe we are just facing it.  For many people they, because of busy lives, whatever, do not confront this feeling.  I think there is some connection with death also, not sure what it is about, but the aloneness of the death of the self.  Is it about ego?  Lots of questions here.  I think at the moment I feel quite disconnected with the world and maybe that is where my sense of loss is coming from, or maybe that should read disconnected with my real self. 

I said to my T today that I do not know who I am anymore.  I feel lost and as if I am mourning......... what, the layers I have built up over the years, the letting go of what might have been.

I met with my xh recently (not an N) and I have no memory of being married to him.  I look at photos and know that we were together but have no sense of there ever being a connection.  The layers are peeling away but right now I feel like I am left with a stranger.  Heavy hard stuff at the moment

axa

[Hopalong]

(((((((((AXA))))))))))))))) [edit: sorry, Axa, I called you TT! Not that it's not a compliment...I'm sorry though. I was rushing. xo, Hops]

I'm sorry you're sad, hon...you are clear about why.
Grief sure takes its damn sweet time--I think whether it's grieving for the emptiness after a "bad thing" took up too much room or for the loss of a "good thing" that was welcome in your life doesn't really matter.

I hope you'll just keep peeling, just on faith that as you endure and work, things (including emotions) will change and keep on healing...

Keep peeling that onion
layer by layer
let its pungency
release the tears
just keep on
peeling until
you get to
the chocolate

XXOO
Hops
PS--I'm much better today. Doing well at work, got a bonus, got up early this a.m. and loved the luxury of a slow start. I just get those waves now and then. It is odd for a grown woman who's a raging extrovert to be alone most of the time. So I can change that...

[birdy750]

Hi-Last summer I had to pack up our 'family' home--alone of course--as I was finally leaving my N. Two kids and ALL the childhood memories that make a home!!!The entire house-- Christmas decorations, 'special' toys that one must save, the shed and all it's contents,oh and the attic!!! My closet was easy as I had lost 50 lbs (the famous divorce diet) and nothing fit---but the kids and the musical instruments--uggg--did I mention I'm an Art teacher (we DO love to recycle the wierd and unusual!).

Anyway--I made 5 "piles"--The first to go to goodwill (thrift store) of things not worth much. The second to go to an organization that helps families in need for free--fire victims etc.... 3rd--looong term storage--packed and labeled well with all those things you must save til the kids are grown (mostly special toys!)but we won't be able to get to for years. Next an ebay pile of the really good stuff I could part with and lastly the yard sale pile (we made$ 400.00)!

The rest we moved into our new little house and made a home--we switched it up too-pieces that were in a bedroom now serve as a buffet. It is warm and cozy---and SAFE--we are happy here, for the first time in a long time.

I have no remorse for the "things" we no longer have!! I strongly recommend the sort--store--and toss method. The kids and I had fun deciding together just how we wanted our new home to look--and everyboy's HAPPY!!!

[Hopalong]

Pure inspiration, Birdy...thank you!
And you too, CB, I love idea of downsizing.

And though I'll have a whole house and estate sale and all that to deal with when my mother goes, I could meanwhile still unload a lot of clutter and make my own two rooms serene. I'll like it!

Thanks, all on this thread...open for more inspiration always.

love
Hops

[debkor]

Hops,

I have been for quite sometime getting rid of things just to find more things!!  I am growing appliances I think. 
Were does this all come from and how was I able to ever fit all these things in my cabinets. 
The more I throw away the more I find.
It was so much easier keeping the doors shut.

Love
Deb

[axa]

PS--I'm much better today. Doing well at work, got a bonus, got up early this a.m. and loved the luxury of a slow start. I just get those waves now and then. It is odd for a grown woman who's a raging extrovert to be alone most of the time. So I can change that...


Hops,

Well done, glad you are feeling better and so pleased about your bonus.  Sounds like getting up early is a way of taking care of yourself.

I can empathise with your last sentence..... I was such an extrovert and I too spend most of my time alone.  I am reasonably comfortable with this but don't quite understand it........ I am sure all will be revealed.  Maybe it is because I am less needy now.  I can tolerate my own company.  I don't need the constant affirmation that I exist, that I have a connection with myself which allows me to know that i exist.... mmmmmmmmmm lots of food for thought here.

xxxxxx

axa