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The N meets Clint Eastwood

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tokyojim2001:
I have a "friend" who is a severe N.  I would like to relate a story that you may find amusing and provides some insight into the N way of thinking.

Years ago, we had a mutual acquaintence (a normal person) who moved to California, near Hollywood.  On a visit back east, he casually mentioned to the N that he met Clint Eastwood.  He was an outgoing and friendly person, so this certainly meant that he just saw Clint, shook his hand and told him he liked his movies or something like that.  That was all.  In addition, he told the N (and me) to come visit him if we were ever in CA.

But the story slowly changed at the hands of the N.  Next, the friend must have known Clint quite well.  Next, he undoubtedly went to parties and events with Clint.  Next, if he visited this person in hollywood, he would be introduced to Clint, and Clint would certainly like his personality.  He would therefore be invited by Clint to many places and meet celebrities and go to parties, etc.  He spoke as if all this were actually happening!

In addition, when he would reach the peaks of his fantasies, he would begin subtle put-downs to me: "You should come out there and visit me when I go.  Oh, but you are too busy with your job.  That is too bad.  You need to meet interesting people," etc......

I was both annoyed but also fascinated by this convoluted and grandiose thinking....  I would be pissed off, but also look at him like Spock out of Star Trek and think, "fascinating!"

Portia:
....

tokyojim2001:
I think that the reason the Ns refer to "interesting people" is pretty straightforward.  When they talk about them, they are making a self-reference.  If they feel that they know about IPs, they are therefore, by some kind of default, one of them.  At the same time, the listener is put down and the N maintains a position of authority and importance.

What I find incredible is their projection and inability to laugh at themselves.  A number of years ago, this N told me that I obviously needed to leave my wife, get a better job, and move to an interesting place.  In fact, I was very happily married, really liked my job, and lived in Vienna, Austria!  The reality was that he was living with his nagging mother in a multifamily house and hated maintaining the apartments.....

I am usually patient, but remember once when I lost it.  I had the following conversation with the N:

Me: "I may teach Psychology 101 at a local community college and would like your help to explain something."

N: "What is that?"

Me: "The concept of projection is sometimes hard for the students to understand.  However, if they see you in action, they will certainly know a lot about it."

N: (Silence)

He did not talk with me for at least 3 weeks after that....

Portia:
Goodness you have the type of cold cruelty it is difficult not to admire! (Is it the result of years of N-study?)

But if that is you 'losing it', don't you ever get angry and emotional (shout, walk off)?

And yes of course, Ns have no real sense of empathic humour. It must depend on IQ level, sometimes the lack of humour can be cleverly hidden can't it, especially in the work-place? Do you agree?

tokyojim2001:
You are right.  Thanks.  That "cold curelty" manifests itself in me only very, very rarely.  It happens when I am very angry.  It comes out with the N sometimes.  In that instance, I reached one of my breaking points with the N.  I knew that he would not want to speak with me, and was really glad for that.

I have not been a victim of an N in the sense of being married, in a business relationship or having one as a parent.  This N is just a "friend" who does not even live in the same state.  Yet, I have been so angered that I once even had government people after him and he left the country for a short time.  I assure you that I am not a violent or spiteful person.  Only one N, just as a high school "friend" ever brought this out.  I cannot imagine having a parent or spouse as one.  I would like to help in any small way I can.

The N is very good at hiding a lack of a sense of humor when needed.  It usually is by cracking nasty jokes at which only the N laughs.

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