Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

The N meets Clint Eastwood

<< < (2/3) > >>

Portia:

--- Quote ---I have been so angered that I once even had government people after him and he left the country for a short time
--- End quote ---


Wow! Either he did something really bad, or you are/were very powerful at the time. ??

And


--- Quote ---cracking nasty jokes at which only the N laughs
--- End quote ---


I’ve seen this in action. Or just really bad jokes at work and all the sycophantic minions are forced to laugh, the most sycophantic laughing the loudest. I had a boss who seeing that I (female) was chairing a meeting of about 8 men decided to ‘pop in’ and tell a 10 minute very un-funny pornographic school-kid joke – knowing that one of the key men present could only spare the meeting 15 minutes. Silence followed his exit, followed by the most junior bloke saying “well I’ve never heard a director say so many taboo words in one go before!”. Was the boss trying to undermine me? Yes and I put up with it. No more.

tokyojim2001:
Portia,

Yes, your supervisor's and mother's pattern of jokes seem familiar.  The N says "jokes" that are not funny, but just vulgar, nasty or insulting.  Then the N laughs.  And may repeat the jokes.  Most people simply are too kind-hearted to tell the N what they think, so they force some fake smiles and laughs.  And the N does not even seem to be aware of it.  He has received some attention, put people down, or felt some power, and that is enough.

I am not a powerful person when I was able to get government people after the N.  I was just very,very angry.

Portia:
...but is it your responsibility (or right) to punish this N, or any other?

Would you like never to feel that kind of anger again?

tokyojim2001:
Portia,

I did not think that in a forum such as this I would have to defend my thoughts and actions.  I did not think of "rights" or "responsibilities" when I was angry at the N and carried out some revenge.  I was 19.  It was not a philosophical or moral debate in my mind at all then.  I simply was writing about how angered I became at N behavior.

I do not want to become that angry again.  There are too many other interesting and fun things in life.  However, the very fact that I am coming to this forum means that the N has got to me again.  I am finding that this place enables me to distance myself from his despicable, foul and inhuman behavior.

Portia:
Tokyojim:


--- Quote ---I did not think that in a forum such as this I would have to defend my thoughts and actions.
--- End quote ---

Why not? This is a forum for voicelessness and emotional survival: we have wounded, raw people here. If you upset someone, you may have to defend yourself - I have!  

However, I’m not asking you to ‘defend’ your thoughts or actions about your N friend. I simply asked you questions. Like people do. For better understanding. I’m sorry I seem to have pushed a button there with you(?). I will not ask you to defend yourself! But I am probably known for constant questioning…and sometimes being a little provocative. If you’d rather I didn’t talk to you, that’s fine – I’ll leave you be 8) . Let me know, please.
In the meantime….


--- Quote ---I am finding that this place enables me to distance myself from his despicable, foul and inhuman behavior.
--- End quote ---

 :D Good! I think this is not just a place to let out anger (although it very much is a place to do that); it is also a good place to try to understand: what makes Ns like they are, how to deal with it, how to ‘cope’ and maybe even how to move on…how does all that sound? Are you looking for these things?

You have started a new thread called ‘Interesting people’ which, I think, is based upon my thoughts above. It would be very polite of you if you could credit people when you take their ideas; we generally like good manners I think and I know other boards aren’t like this – so I’m letting you know. :wink:

If other members here disagree with me, think I’m being too harsh or over-sensitive, please speak up now. I got into trouble in the past being too provocative: please don’t let me do it again. Thank you.  :) P

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page