Margo,
I promise you the pain on the inside is consuming me. I have a new therapist just for the depression and the guilt that is devasting me. I am into step 4-5 in the 12steps and have a new chip. I miss the children and you, something terrible, and wish to God we could heal are wounds. I walk around sick, no sleep, and desforic. You want your freedom and you shall have it. You are more worried about money than you are about the family. I am tired of the cat and mouse games that a divorce court brings about. We have lost trust. I used too trust you and now not anymore. The process continues and it wears us down, takes a loving relationship, and turns it to hate. Margo I openly admit my infidelity, lies, and mis-trusts and have turned my energy inward toward building a spiritual core. You cast me as a villian and a terrible one at that... knowing full well you had a fighter. Now you rip his heart out and make him fight the ones he loves? You cry for freedom... but every freedom is available in this country. (religion, speech, worship, etc).. but in your heart it is the "financial freedom" you seek from your endeavor. So, continue to cast me as your NNN and run like crazy... You have a right for D... but if it just comes down to $$$ why not return to therapy, help support your N in his path of healing, let him set you up financially..(but make him believe in you) so that these terrible forces dont have to be????? MY HEART is BREAKING its even more terrible to see you pinning your thoughts for the world to read and to see how no one promotes trying to repair what CAN be fixed. Your true fear comes from the fact that you married a fighter, (Never give in, never give up, and neve quit) a motto of mine.. and you are a healer. Together they work magic... opposing it causes great fear in the healer, and unimagiable remorse and pain in the fighter. This is terrible, it is death, every one has faults and strong points this is an unwelcome battle one i dont want to win. An olive branch I would offer my dove to find peace.
NNN
People sell there souls for gold
People die,, they worry about the inheritance
Money is Evil
and your favorite:
If it takes a reason.... you will find a reason.
PS: To Margo's friends thank you for supporting her. I wish I didn't have to read the posts and suffer the "tongue lashings" it will take a long time and deep meditation for these wounds to heal.