Hey towrite

[Margo]

Please don't beat yourself up and stop posting.  You don't have to tell us what happened..... but please don't just go silent and keep heaping shame on top of yourself.  I'd go crazy if I did that myself.... and you don't want that for me or anyone else, do you?  Why do that to yourself?  Margo

[towrite]

Thanks, Margo. I am beating myself up. I am frustrated beyond all reason and find myself lashing out at people, so I am in a hermit mode. I don't trust myself with other people. I am also drinking too much, but it helps with the pain. Last night I went to the end of my driveway and yelled at a crowd of people gathered on the street in front of the house there that if they didn't quiet down I was going to call the cops. They came very close to threatening my dogs. I came back inside and it took me several hours and extra meds to calm down. I thought that state of frustration was never going to end. Then I got paranoid, heard noises at my back door, the dogs barked several times, and I thought those people had come back to terrorize me in retaliation. I am losing it.

towrite

[Hopalong]

((((((((((((((((((((((ToWrite))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Here's a cup of chamomile, your bubble bath is drawn,
and now let's put on a really gorgeous symphony,
or maybe some choral Handel (Joshua?) and a big
box of soft tissues and you have a really good BAWL.

Then you make your bed and put on your nicest
most cheerful clothes and go take a loooooong
walk in the most beautiful natural place you can get to.

Then after that you go hunt up a compassionate T and
better yet some REGULAR meeting of kind people for
some REGULAR real-life contact and support...

'Kay? Okay? Will you? Any of these?

Big comforting hug, hon. You are not alone
and you can rant here...

So glad you posted.

Hops

[Overcomer]

towrite:  I am glad you are back and I totally understand where you are coming from.  When you go so many years being completely controlled by someone and you finally hit that wall and you snap-I think you can over react to everything and people do not know how to take you.  For me it was like "Do not mess with me, cut in front of me in line, take my parking space, tail gate me, tell me what to do, etc.  Or you will get a piece of me that you do not want a piece of!