It feels lonely.

[Lupita]

I copied this from Hop's post beacuse it is perfect for us too, Ami and me.

Hi Confounded, (Lupita)

I'd like to ask something blunt. I know your H (mother) drives you crazy. I sympathize...it feels awful to be constantly irritated and frustrated over such poor chemistry and lack of flow between you.

My question, though, is could you ask yourself how you benefit by trying to be (a good daughter to obtain love?)right?

It seems like a draining exhausting struggle you are mired in. It's unwinnable.
And it must be misery to feel this tension all the time.

Can either of you (only you) just extend grace? I don't know what that means in specific...just ... grace.

I apologize if this isn't helpful. I know it may not be.

Hops

The only difference is that a mother is much omore important than a husband, or amd I wrong?
 

[Hopalong]

Hi Lupita...

I think all that matters is that you are feeling great pain and being with your mother is hell.

You have all my sympathy. I'm sorry I sounded impatient.

love
Hops

[Lupita]

Today is Saturday, 26. I am not mad. I am not in a bad mood. She is in the kitchen fixing food. She needs to feel important. She thinks that food is important. She already is huffing and puffing, and I am just waiting for her first complain of the day about working so hard in the kitchen while I am here in the computer. But I do not feel anything, I am totally numbed. Anesthetized.
If my son accepts me with my problems, I can accept my mother with hers. She will leave in two weeks. And she really spent her savings to come here.
Please, Hop, keep writing me, please. Your comments are very helpful. I even copy them from other sites for my own benefit, from other threads.
Thank you all for your support. Please, keep writing me.

[Hopalong]

Sure, Lup.

Sometimes I surprise my mother (easier than what you're dealing with since yours still has some vigor) by just giving her a quick but loving hug.

She never hugs back, doesn't know how. But it seems to please her and animate her in a way.

I always make sure if I do that, that I'm about ready to dash out the door to something. But I figure, what do I have to lose? Her power is gone now. I am left, and I have choices.


Now that I never expect anything at all, I am free to do it. Sometimes it just makes me feel good. So I'm kinder to her as time wears on. Might as well pretend we're all the same, and treat her as I'd like to be treated.

No idea how my daughter will treat me one day.

Hops

[Lupita]

Thank you Hope. Thank you for taking the time. I have hundred things to tell about, that just happened in the last two days. But I feel rediculus to do so. No reason for it. No case in doing that. Probably I would feel better after writing it. Dont know anymore.

[Lupita]

For an N mother you are never good enough. Never!!!!! She will always minimize your pain!!! That is nothing compaared with wha I have suffered. She is your enemy. She willsabotize your diet. She will sabotize your trust to other huma beings. She will make sure that you wil ot feel well. If you feel well she will feel unhappy.

[James73]

Thanks Hops! I learned from the best though, you guys rock! 
James