How to Calm One's Nerves Around an N

[Confounded]

1)  Take a walk, a run, burn off energy, work out.

2)  Have a glass of wine, sherry, a beer, something delicious and slightly alcoholic.

No Rx.  Thought of that.  Probably a bad idea.

I find that even as I watch with seeming calm (externally), inside my heart races.  I dread the anger, even though I know he will no longer cause me any physical pain.  It has stopped.  But my racing heart has not.  The slightest possibility of any disagreement, and I am all a jitter inside.  I think it's bad for my health...

How to stop the fear?  How to uncouple my nervous, jittery response from his now-minimized angry reactions?  It is a conditioned response.  How to deprogram myself? 

[WRITE]

watch the alcohol is my advice- I got so I needed to be drunk to spend time around ex!

Number 1) is healthier.

I've done a lot of therapy around my fear of ex, you are right the trauma is terribly debilitating.

My bipolar got worse and worse due to stress.

I still dread the anger but I am finding that mostly I am just dealing with it and also- now he knows it doesn't work to control me he doesn't seem as angry, now he knows I don't bear him any ill-will he isn't as angry, and now he sees I am going to do what I need to do whatever he does he isn't as angry....

I feel sorry for him. If he would go to the pschiatrist and commit to it he could have a totally different life.

Not with me, I told him that yesterday and I finally accept and know it myself too.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Hope you feel better soon

~W

[Stormchild]

I feel sorry for him. If he would go to the pschiatrist and commit to it he could have a totally different life.

Not with me, I told him that yesterday and I finally accept and know it myself too.

Write, this is HUGE. Congratulations!

Confounded, on another thread I was singing the praises of chlorpheniramine... Chlor-Trimeton... as an occasional way of dealing with panicked feelings.

You do NOT, trust me, want to go anywhere near Xanax or Klonopin or any of the other drugs in that family, they are even more habituating than ethanol, but a simple OTC antihistamine may help you.

And I haven't found that I crave it, ever.

(((((((((())))))))))

[Hopalong]

Confounded,

You must feel so brittle.

I hope you find strength to do what is right for you, so that you may look forward to a rich life.

Not necessarily money rich. But peace-rich.

You do deserve to live in peace, you know?

Hops