Omg! sad terrible terrible news.

[debkor]

Yesterday was my sons  (the 12 year old) field trip to an amusement park.  He did not go because he hates rollercoasters and wanted to stay home instead of peer pressure of the kids wanting him to go on them.  I said ok. His best friend came home and told him she had a great time.  He was ok all was good.  Later on he came to me in the kitchen and said Mom a girl in my classes dad killed her.  I said what?  Where did you hear this?  He said his best friend told him.  I said don't joke about things like that. It's not funny.  He said mom I'm only saying what she said.  Then he said she was always in trouble in school.  I said why is that how so?  He said she was always in detention.  She pushed, hit, did all kinds of things.  Ok well that's not good G but I'm sure she's ok.

OMG!! my older son just told me Did you hear about the kid who's father killed her.  It was all over the news.

My heart sank!!  OMG it was this little girl.  The one my son was trying to tell me about.   
He shot her and then shot himself.
Waiting for my son to come home from school now.

I'll let him start to tell me. I'll ask him what he wants to do.



Love
Deb
 

[lighter]

OMG Deb, tingles and chills here.  I can only guess that the poor girl hit and acted out bc her home life was that way.  I'm so sorry your sons have to go through this lesson in their lives. 

I can't tell you how awful it makes me feel to picture that poor girl's last moments.  So sad to picture her entire life.  : (

You'll help your children understand.  (((Deb))) 

[debkor]

School just called.  Said they have therapist from the school and other districts called in dealing with the kids in small groups and individual. They are talking and some are doing art therapy the ones who will not speak.  They want us to speak to our children when they get home.

I found out that the little girl had some problems with behavior in school.  She was taken out and sent to a special school where she completed what they wanted then sent back to the regular school.
He was a single parent raising her alone.


They found the father and  his daughter both laying in the bed where he must of laid next to her while she was sleeping and shot her then shot himself.

This is so tragic.  He snapped I guess.  This is difficult for me never mind my child dealing with this.

[Confounded]

So sorry to hear that your family must face this unbelievable horror.  Someone once told me that he thinks that maybe life here on Earth is actually Hell.  I don't believe that.  But sometimes I wonder. 

[WRITE]

very sad. Hope your son isn't too traumatised, you are right to let him lead when you talk to him, children see things differently than us.

My son read about risk of suicide in a book once his dad bought about bipolar, for a couple of years he was very anxious in case I killed myself and no amount of reassurance made any difference.

Suicide is such a violent act....it's not fair. I sometimes wonder if previous societies had more balance about it being a crime etc if we could couple that with our understanding of distress and with support for the suicidal...

Leaving behind a corpse for others to find is not acceptable- it does a tremendous harm to everyone around. Even people unrelated to the person are shocked and hurt.

A friend mentioned it to me last week, she is in a lot of pain from arthritis.
I told her in no uncertain terms that to commit suicide is a lot different from talking to friends and family and ending her life in a non-violent way.
She has promised that if it gets unbearable she will talk to me and others before doing anything, and she's making an appointment with her pain specialist to see what more can be done now.

One of my friends committed suicide a few years ago, it was horrible. People were so damaged, they felt guilty and slighted and rejected....why didn't she talk to them etc. Very difficult for her family who had thought they were providing her with loving support...

World-wide more people die from suicide than from any other form of violence, someone somewhere every 40 seconds; an estimated 10-20 million people worldwide attempt suicide.

Hope you are okay ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

There has been a spate of murder/ suicides in Houston recently. Very very sad when someone chooses to end the life of an innocent child who someone else would be willing to raise.

More work needs to be done to raise the awareness of this issue and assure people they must not harm their children no matter how distressed they become.

[debkor]

My son is home from school.  He didn't say a word looked more in a bad mood.  I said you want to talk about anything.
He said I don't know. I said I heard about the little girl in the class and I am so sorry about last night that I dismissed what you told me. You weren't in school so I was not sure what was going on since you heard it from you friend.  I should of listened more carefully, I should of found out for sure and I should of trusted your friend.  I did not want to think about this could of possibly happened. I made a big mistake.  I am sorry.  He said that's OK, I know, but I told you. I said yes you did.  Then I said how do you feel. He said, I dunno.  I said are you OK? He said yeah I guess.  Do you want to go to the funeral?  I don't know. OK you let me know.  I left him alone then.
Later I said did you talk to anyone in school. No. Did any of your class. I dunno, no. Did you draw anything. Nope. 
What did they tell you.  He said they told us the girl was dead, I'm sure not that way. Did they tell you why?  No we did a minute of silence.  Did anyone ask why? No.  My friend was friends with her and he told me he watched them carry her body out. Is he OK, I dunno. He is very sad. Then he didn't want to talk so I will let it be now. He's going out to play with his friends. He is doing what he needs to do and I think they are talking amongst themselves. 

I'll let him deal with it now however he feels comfortable. 

There is a big investigation and no one is sure what really took place but the shootings.  There is all kinds of things, talk, going on and I heard that the agencies were worried about the fathers well being because the child was very aggressive.

Either way, God show them the way home.


Deb

[lighter]

Hearbreaking, no matter what happened.  It scares me just to hear the story. 

[Hopalong]

((((((((((((((((((Deb, Deb's boy, the murdered child, her father, everyone))))))))))))))))))))))))

Beyond sad. I'm sorry.
Deb, sounds to me you were just spot on with your son.

A sincere parental apology is such a comforting thing for a kid.

Hops

[oc]

What is this world coming to?  If it is not one thing, it is another!!  My h always says to me, look to your right and look to your left and your life will not seem that bad!!

[Stormchild]

Oh (((((((Deb)))))))

how utterly, awfully, unspeakably sad.

[reallyME]

Deb,

There are no words I can say right now other than "I'm praying for all of you and the family of the little girl and father."  Although the adult did the killing, he obviously was disturbed to begin with.

Someone mentioned this: This is so tragic.  He snapped I guess.  This is difficult for me never mind my child dealing with this.

Honestly, though, as Stormchild posted from her blog...he didn't "snap," there were signs long before the murder.  it's tragic that people just keep going without getting the needed help. 

Will be praying, but don't beat yourself up about not listening to your son.  You made a mistake and wanted to believe better than what he tried to tell you.  don't we ALL want to believe in good before we even consider evil and bad?  That's purely human of you.  Bless you, dear.

~Laura

[gratitude28]

((((((((((((((Deb, and son))))))))))))))))))

And to reiterate Hops post ((((((((((((((((((girl, dad, family))))))))))))

This must be so hard for all of you. I think the best you can do is apologize to your son for not aking him seriously (and lesson learned). We all do it. I think as a parent the most important thing is to be able to apologize and be a good example of cleaning up your mistakes. As to the grieving, a situation like this leaves so many feelings that you can't quite clarify, I think. Anger, fear, sadness... I think only time can diminish those feelings.

((((((((((((((((((((((Deb)))))))))))))))))))

Love, Beth

[debkor]

Thanks everyone.

My son is doing good.  He is confused on what and why things happened.  He is being quiet now and that is fine.


I have read that the little girl and the father may have been dead for two days before discove rd.  The little girl was already in the system with the Child welfare.  The school called the state reporting she did not show up for school in the past 2 days.  Some of her friends were trying to call for her because they had started a group called the Ghetto Diamonds Singers and wanted her to practice. They said she never answed the door and now they know why.
The police said that they noticed flies around the windows and got very uneasy to find what they hoped they would not. They found the little girl with a gunshot to the left side of her head and the father with a shot to his head lying in the little girls bed. She was lying on her side and he was face down.
Some neighbors said they thought he was a little to possessive with his daughter that he was worried with some neighborhood people.  The kids said he use to throw rocks at vandals if they were viewed by the home.  They said they even saw him with a gun but never seen him point it. This is a very bad neighborhood.
The police said that at the time of his death they even found a video camera pointing out the window to record people there.
They are still under investigation but think this was a suicide/murder.
Now the mother spoke out.  She said she had lived with her daughters father but left when she was an infant when she found out that the father was molesting her other 5 year old son.  She left her daughter there.  She said she has been fighting for 11 years to get her daughter out. She has written letters, made phone calls, even was trying to get an attorney but  no one would listen to her.  She came right out and said he is a child molester. 
So no one knows exactly what is what yet.  Still trying to put the pieces together.

Deb

[lighter]

<gulp>  Leaving a child with a molester, bc he's molesting another child?  I don't see the sense in that.  There is NO sense in that. 

[debkor]

Light,

No there is not.  There is so much going on right now.  Everyday there is something new.  The mother was a drug addict now we found out and could not take care of the child when she was an infant so gave her to her dad. I'm sure there is some truth in everything they are saying.   
This poor child must of had a life of horror.

Deb