I cannot believe this!!! GOOD

[Overcomer]

Plus my mom seems to be actually making strides to move along-I told her I did not trust her and she acknowledged that so for now I am ok where I am.

[Ami]

Your situation is different from mine because I live far away from mine. Also, Thank God, I do not work for her or interact  closely with her.Your mother does not sound as bad as mine,either.
  N's are on a continuum, I think.My H has N qualities. However, his father was a Super N-worse than my mother.
    My mother has a psychotic world view . I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. If I try to share it with her-which I chose to since age 14- then I am crazy as a loon,which I was. If I reject it, she wants to kill me.
 I don't think that your mother is this bad. Also, with mine, she uses the therapy to justify her world view.
  I want everything to be the best for you. You have been through hell and deserve a life of dignity 
                                                            Love Ami

[Overcomer]

Thanks!  I have been through hell and back.  I was neglected and brainwashed growing up with significant religious abuse.  I was a drunk, did drugs, was about as promiscuous as Samantha Jones All while feeling such shame and guilt.  I know now that even back then I was trying to establish my own identity.  I did not establish boundaries until I was 42-That was only 5 Years ago.  That is why my mom thinks I am unstable because The status quo was blown away in a fit of rage.  I think she is tired

[Overcomer]

Of th fight.  I will NEVER allow her to run my life again-NEVER!  And because of this I can deal with her.  Yes sometimes she sends me off the deep end with her crazy making behavior but for the most part I just laugh-she is truly insane and I am not the only one who knows it.  She realizes she is not as sharp as she used to be-she knows her time is numbered and I can sense and intensity within her that points to escaping embarrassment.

[Overcomer]

So I go to the doctor and find out I gained 22 pounds in 6 months AND have high blood pressure!  Medications, anemia-she is for the surgery but she wants me well first!

[Overcomer]

Oh and she told me that maybe my mom cannot allow herself to open up and feel those feelings that made her the way she is.  We all know that N s are made not born and usually there is something that happened to them that made them need to control everything and to be the center of attention to make them feel good about who they are.  The doc said I need to stop insisting she take responsibility because it causes me stress and health problems.

[Green]

Overcomer Kelly,

I have been following your thread and wishing you well. Sounds like you are doing some really important work here. 

This sounds like a really interesting idea when you said, "The doc said I need to stop insisting she take responsibility because it causes me stress and health problems." What did you think about that?  Ring any bells?

I know it did for me when I looked at it with my own situation.  I notice that when I focus a lot on my Nmom and wanting to get certain reactions from her, I abandon myself, which surely would thrill her if she knew.

Green

[Overcomer]

I realize that extreme emotion is bad for you-I cannot allow her to take away my low and health!  It has taken me years but I finally feel free!