Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
healing
Anonymous:
--- Quote ---
--- Quote from: Wildflower ---And yeah, I think I'd get a lot out of it, too (give me a good excuse to do all the kid stuff I'm technically too old to do hahahaha :D).
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Hey, maybe you could big sister a wee little tiny up-and coming cheerleader. Hey, hahahahahaha, maybe you could big sister her whole frickin' team. Wwhhoooaaaa!!!! :D :D Now wouldn't that be wild.
--- Quote ---Higapigasaurausus
--- End quote ---
Okay, let's give her a life. How about a little flower on top of her head, and a hawain (spell check please) skirt.
Or a business suit and briefcase and rolex. 'Cause she's one empowered little higapigasaurausus.
No, well then how about leathers and a motorbike.
Still no, okay, one more try, then what about a nose and brow and tail ring. hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah.
Remember, there's only one of her. She's unique and she knows it.
((((HIGS))))
CG
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Wildflower:
--- Quote ---Hey, maybe you could big sister a wee little tiny up-and coming cheerleader. Hey, hahahahahaha, maybe you could big sister her whole frickin' team. Wwhhoooaaaa!!!! Now wouldn't that be wild.
--- End quote ---
Don't go thinkin I haven't already been thinkin about that thought...
BWAHAHahahaha.....
( :shock: who said that?)
--- Quote ---Okay, let's give her a life.
--- End quote ---
That's a darn good idea. She could be our healing mascot. Though that would kinda be using her wouldn't it? Hmmm. Our healing role model?
--- Quote ---How about a little flower on top of her head, and a hawain (spell check please) skirt.
--- End quote ---
You know who this reminds me of?? Have you ever heard of George and Martha? The two friendly hippos?
http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0395851580/ref=sib_dp_pt/104-0314915-5473560#reader-page
(((HIGS)))
Wildflower
Anonymous:
I love George and Martha. Even George's yellow front tooth.
Wildflower:
Me, too. They're such cool stories. :D
Are you okay, CG?
((((CG))))
WF
Anonymous:
Hi Wildflower,
Yeah, I'm fine, really. I'm still trying to get these books done, and my focus button isn't behaving. I'm blaming your compliments thread. hahahahahahahh. No. Just kidding. :D
But I know I'm more a giver, but not a good accepter in that department. I think it's to do with the feeling of being set up that I auto-react to. And I've been mulling :? :? where that comes from?????
Childhood issues of course. Yes I've adjustd and trained myslf to just say thankyou. But that's because I've learned it draws attention to a deficiency in me if I do otherwise.
I have a very clear picture of cgilhood issues re mother on this topic.
Here's a small simple example.
Mother wants me to make her a cup of tea. She was a terribly the lazy bitch. Instead of saying, "Would you mind making me a cup of tea?" Giving me a choice, it would go more like this, "You're such a good girl, go and make me a cup tea, would you. Show mummy you love her, and that you're a such good daughter." or "You know what a good daughter would do, make their mummy a cup of tea. You want me to think you're a good daughter don't you?"
If I dared say "no" or "wait", she'd fly into some ungodly rage and tell me what a selfish little bitch I was, and then I'd hear afinancial report on how much I cost in food and shelter, and now, how could I be so cruel, I'd even caused her to get a headache, and she'd have to stay in bed all day.
If I still refused (not likely to happen very often) , but say I was running late, on my way out the door to school, she'd be screaming from the bedroom, "Don't bother coming home if a cup of tea isn't in here by the count of 10."
Pathetic isn't it.
Anyway, I'm not getting hung up on it too much. But then there's the other side. "How do I look today, tell me how nice I look? What's wrong with you, why won't you tell me? Are you jealous? You're jealous aren't you. You can't stand having an attractive mother. Why you little cow. blaaah blaah blaah." Compliments and the need she had for them caused so much conflict, that I have a negative reaction to compliments. Quite understandable really.
My auto-thought goes, "Why, are you complimenting me? What do you want 'REALLY' want from me?" It seems to spring into view pretty quickly.
Kids are pretty honest. They rarely compliment. What does this say?
Okay that's enough from me, and I'm not even in the right thread I guess. I'm roaming and raving, but I thought about it a lot, in light of the Imposter Syndrome thing. I still haven't reconciled that part of me. But I've read a lot recently about talented and gifted children, the transcending child etc. And I've been trying to get it all sorted out in my head, particulary in the way I compliment and relate re this with my kids.
It's a very important aspect of healthy development. Genuine and consistant praise. Otherwise they can begin to feel phoney, which is tragic. It can stay, as a monkey on their backs their whole lives. And make them resentful, and even blind to the necessary constructive criticisms that will invariably appear throughout life.
I've been practising new techniques with a little success. I'm reading and learning hahahahahahahah when I'm supposed to be working on these damn books. Have you done anet search or read on the "Transcending Child"? It's me. I escaped the poverty cycle and in some ways, and by my childhood family's standards I've become quite successful.
All these problems from mother drove me, and I was determined not to be financially or emotioanlly dependant on anybody, ever again, I think????? The emotional one took longer, but I'm feeling pretty good in that department nowadays. :D :D :D I almost can't believe I can say that, and know it's true. :D :D :D
(((((HIGS))))) from a very happy higapigasaurauras
CG
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