sore heart

[Hopalong]

Thank you, Confounded, a lot of wisdom there.
I don't think I'll glue the label on her now...that won't help me either.
But stepping back, not taking everything personally, that will.

And not being vulnerable to the hooks, I will work hard on that.
Right now, I think superficial friendliness w/o vulnerability is wise.

Lighter, Hi, and thank you too.
I think I need to breathe and be busy, remember that weekends
are a vulnerable time, and I need to fill them with happy work,
instead of retreating to my room to oversleep and overintrospect...
that sort of opens me up to panicking and clutching.

If I quit that, things will be better, I'm sure of it.

I need to remember I am a strong and capable 57-y/o woman
who has learned some stuff the hard way, but worthwhile stuff.

Self respect. That's what's required for her to treat me respectfully.

thanks, all, doing better today...and I'm going to think of other things.

love
Hops

[lighter]

I'm glad you're feeling better Hops.

I'm taking the morning easy.  I've cried and felt deeply sorry for myself and now it's time to get dressed and do something positive.

I'm thinking a regular visit to the gym, starting this afternoon, is a good idea.  It's something I know I need to add back into my self care routine.   

Of course, now I'm worrying about conversations with people who'll want to speak to me at the gym, and there's always some extrovert who does, lol.  I get a little anxiety attack when thinking about what I'll say to them.  I don't want to talk about my life right now.  I just want to work out and be left alone without being judged hostile or unbalanced, lol.

Bleck on having to field any questions about me now.  How in the heck do I find introspection and peace in a crowded room?

[Hopalong]

Headphones, hon.

Good for you for going to the gym, Lighter!

Hops

[debkor]

Hops,

Been thinking about you.  You really have a lot of weight on your shoulders right now.  You must be exhausted.
You have taken over care taker of your mom and worrying about your daughter.  Then you have to get up to go to work and do that job too.

I think you really  need to take that beach vacation.  Don't burn your self out, hon. 
Sit back take a deep breath and try to turn off to some of the things even if for an hour.

I'm sorry you are having such a heavy heart right now.
Just wanted you to know thinking of you.

Love
Deb

[mountainspring]

((((Hops))))

[WRITE]

Must be unpleasant to read such an insecurity fit.

no, but insecurity is interesting because that's how I would deal with it- by choking down my insecurity and being pushed out of the house leaving daughter with her grandma time and go to the conference.

Take back my feelings on it because it's not going to happen how I'd like....but what feels right to happen etc.

One of the lessons I am learning about ongoing things with my ex is- he is usually IN THE WRONG, because of the way he goes about things, but not always necessarily WRONG.

Would you enjoy the conference and a break from your mum? Then go.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Much love to you

~W

[lighter]

How'ya doing today Hops?