hoarding

[Amy]

I have worked hard on the self destructive behaviors that I have.  Now I'm face to face with one of the goofier behaviors.

I am a hoarder.  Better known as a pack rat.  I save stuff I don't need or even want, out of the lingering fear that there won't be "enough" left for me.

Worse yet, its mostly the junk that other people got rid of, "here, you want this, 'cause I'm gonna throw it away."

I know its silly.  But I still do it.

Today I'm taking photos to put some of this stuff on ebay.

Sometimes its good to chuckle at ourselves.

[Ami]

Dear Amy,
  We all have a variety of self destructive traits.It is good to write about them and share them with others. It helps to take the sting and the shame out of it..
  You are not alone, Amy. keep writing and sharing. I love to hear what you have to say.  Hugs Ami

[isittoolate]

Hi Amy

I am the opposite, now at my age.

I keep throwing away things I no longer need, with the view of having only the "best of things" left when I die and someone comes in to deal with my belongings.

No little cheap knick-knacks, no dirty jokes, no outdated software that won't run on XP (wonder what Vista will do to what I am keeping), no crappy bath towels and cloths or dish towels and cloths, no outdated clothing, nothing on my hard drive I don't want anyone to see.

I have basic furniture, TV, VCR, Computer, 150 DVDs, -------

When I was in the car accident and all my belongings were removed from my apartment, comments were made on what they found. That is my reasoning!

Love
Izzy

[debkor]

Amy,

Well I'm pretty good with not hoarding but I really do have a self destruct behavior and well aware of the end results.

I am a smoker. A cigarette junkie.  That is the hardest thing to over come for me.  I probably could take on 16 N's in their biggest rage that one has ever seen before I could stop smoking.  I want to stop but I don't want to stop.  Make any sense?  Been through more things that anyone should ever have to be through and dealt with things as they came and survived.

But I think if I were to stop smoking I would have a breakdown.  Crazy eh!  never felt this way with anything else.  Knew I would get through things but cigarettes whoa now that is something  that is really frightening for me to think I will be without.

But I have to.  They don't make me feel good. I don't always enjoy them and I don't really want to die or get sick.

I have to do a cold turkey stop with them.  Oh man if I could only pick a date.

God Help you All when I do.  I will probably be ranting and raving and crying on here!!  So I'll let you know when I decide to do this and warn you if I am acting nuts it's because I will be nuts for awhile going through withdrawal. Oh man, Meno and withdrawal at the same time.  I think my family will move out lol.

Love
Deb

[Bella_French]

I am a hoarder and (was) a smoker!!

Amy thanks for posting about hoarding; I guess I'm a bit of a goof too. I hadn't really thought much about it lately. I think I will put a few things up on ebay too!

Deb, I know that smoking seems like such a friend!. I never wanted to give it up, but I knew I had to, as I'm sure you do!!

I don't know if this helps, but its not the harmful smoke that is lifting you up, its the nicotine. Nicotine is an anti-depressant, presented in a harmful way via smoke and other chemicals. I don't believe that `cold-turkey' is a good way to give up an anti-dpressant. It can be done, but theres no real need to go through such pain. A doctor would suggest weaning yourself off an anti-depressant slowly by reducing your dose over time. This, I feel, is the better approach with nicotine.

What worked for me (after maybe 3-4  major attempts) was to cut down the dose of nicotine in my cigs. I got right down to 1 mg. Then I moved onto patches (which was a bit of a jump down, but nothing like cold turkey). Once you're on patches, you can take however long you need to work through depression or your life stressors, without damaging your lungs like you are now.

Well that approach worked for me anyway:) I really wish you luck with this Deb:) 

 

[lighter]

I hoard too but my mother is the the world's biggest hoarder.  She got it honest from her father who was a "champion hoarder."  I'm talking coins in the wall, he'd keep jars of homecanned food, (Lord knows where they came from) that looked like they contained someone's gums then tell us "we never knew when we might have to EAT them."  <shudder> 

I've been tryng to put unused things back into the world where other people will appreciate them.  As hard as it is to pry them out of my hands, it can be done and I'm always gratified at the clean empty space I gain.  I can think more clearly and there's room to BE, if that makes sense.  Ahhhh, I wish those fleeting glimpes of Zen could be captured.  But you know how hard it is to stop accumulating stuff.

My mom can't do it.  She's chained to things and it's a very good lesson for me.  I can see what she'd gain if she could just let go and focus on those things that she really values and cares for.

Yes, I would have liked to have been one of those things she cared for. 

[Overcomer]

Never got addicted-smoked for years but was always very discreet because my mom would shame me into hell if she found out so even to this day I sometimes smoke with a cocktail and then not touch them later-lucky there I guess.  Walked away from alcohol abuse too while I have watched many a friend flush their lives.  My biggest prob is not getting rid of toys-we have enough to outfit a daycare center!

[Overcomer]

C B:  My grandparents lived on an acreage and they had this huge red wood fence which hid his Sanford and Son backyard-chicken coops, old cars and many other junk related stuff.  It was kinda scary actually.  I remember walking through there to go to an out house.  When my mom bought the place they had someone come in and tear down and haul away all the trash!

[Hopalong]

I haven't been getting rid of stuff but I never shop. So at least I'm not bringing new in. It really helped me when I moved in 8 years ago to leave my household belongings packed. They're in the basement now, and I don't even remember what I own. I unpacked my bedroom stuff (not the furniture) and home office stuff, and all the rest is a mystery, by now likely full of silverfish. It drives my D crazy, she's dying to get into it all and sort and have a sale.

What I really want to do in the two rooms I occupy is get rid of a lot of THIS stuff. I crave that Zen feeling too. It would be wonderful to create more serenity and space.

Hey Deb,
If you ever want encouragement about smoking, I'd be glad to be a support. I finally quit (after 50 tries) by being hypnotized by a very experienced hypnotherapist (psychologist certified in hypnotherapy...he does this work forensically as well). We planned two sessions, one to "implant" a script of aversive images about cigarettes (I chose visualizing each one as though it had been dipped in toxic chemical waste) and positive relaxation images to be triggered instead by the craving (I chose a beautiful meadow, lying on my back in the grass, with swifts flying overhead, flowers bobbing in my peripheral vision, and air so sweet and pure I felt well-being increase with each breath). Anyway, we did the 2 sessions, and after the second I went to my car where I had a box of Nicorette and have chewed it ever since.

It's an expensive crutch, but way better than tars and gases, and I'm sososooo grateful it worked.

Hops

[lighter]

I'm a hoarder, too, and I come by it honest.  My grandfather's estate sale took two days.  He used to build outbuildings to stash his stuff in. 
CB

I had to read this post twice, CB, lol.  I thought I must of written this post myself, ABOUT MY OTHER GRANDFATHER, and then forgotten, lol.  He's the one who had the farm though.

[lighter]

C B:  My grandparents lived on an acreage and they had this huge red wood fence which hid his Sanford and Son backyard-chicken coops, old cars and many other junk related stuff.  It was kinda scary actually.  I remember walking through there to go to an out house.  When my mom bought the place they had someone come in and tear down and haul away all the trash!

MCB, my "expert hoarder" Grandfather FILLED his chicken coup with "stuff."   The yard was kept clear enough but I remember that chicken house being filled to the gills. 

[reallyME]

I'm not a hoarder, but I married one.

I had a step-dad who passed away, who was OCD, OCPD and also schizophrenic.  I know what it is to live with someone who can't throw things away, although, at the time of growing up, I didn't realize that he was mentally ill...i just thought he was a bit eccentric.

When my mother divorced him, she carted 60 bags of junk out to the curb!  When I flew home to NY, my family and I cleaned up 8 garages packed to the roof with everything...old kleenex, dirty baby diapers, wrappers and boxes from everything he ate, used, lived with!  Since I was married and hadn't seen the extent of his illness till he passed away, I was shocked at what we all cleaned out of his apartment and storage garages!  He even had steel-rigged locks on some of them, so that if anyone tried to take his stuff, the door would slam shut on them, most likely killing or maiming them. ( did I mention he was paranoid too?)

I don't save things I don't use or need.  I find myself doing a regular inventory of books and clothes, and I have always had a motto:  "out with the old, in with the new."  My daughters tell me that to this day, they still remember me saying that and they live by it!  (even my daughter with N traits!)

There is help for hoarders.  Talk to your therapist about it, get to the root causes and learn new behaviors.

~Laura

[sea storm]

I am changing from hoarding to  getting rid of stuff.
While living with my X I started buying Sari's. I am not kidding. I have trunks and trunks of them which I wanted to make into hats and lampshades. I got some very exquisite ones for very little money. I had to drive to a place one and a half hours away.  There was a continuous supply of them and I thought that maybe osama bin laden was hiding in this little city and his wives were donating saris to the value village.
Most aritists know that you have to have stuff in order to make stuff, who knows what potential things might have?
I came to realize that I was enjoying FINDING TREAsures  like hunting for shells on the beach. Nedess to say the house got full.
I think it was a metaphor for my starving creative spirit. Oh yes, and speaking of starving .... I gained fifty pounds. 
My appetite is under control now and I am getting rid of literally tons of things. But not the saris. If anyone has any ideas on what to do with them, let me know.

Sea storm

[Hopalong]

OOOO, saris!
(I think they're an Indian traditional dress though, right? Not Saudi...)

Anyway, Sea, how about using them to make amazing bed quilts?????

Or, artsier fartsier, hmmm...use them like decoupage in huge murals...offer your mural-services to a poor school.

Hmmm. Find some charity for refugee women and donate, have parties to make the women happy and let them all choose three?

It could be a JOY.

Hops

[tayana]

I'm a pack rat too.  I keep starting "collections" but I never weed things out as my collection grows.

Sea Storm,

I've seen people cut the saris into thin strips and knit, crochet or weave with them.  It's a neat effect.  I think someone else mentioned a quilt.  Or if you can sew, you could use them to make some unique blouses, skirts, or something like that.