Dear Izzy,
I wanted to write you one more post. I read your old ones and I think that you said that you were an avoidant personality(spelling?). Anyway, I was thinking about that. It would be so easy to let pain take you there.You had more than your share. You had enough for 100 people.
You mentioned being disconnected from your feelings,too.
I am finding that a key to healing is getting connected to your feelings. One way is to share really honestly and people will uplift you. Then, you can step your toe out little by little. Then ,you start to feel. Today, I can't stop crying,but at least I can feel. I am so happy that I don't feel so numb,anymore.
Izzy, you have been through so much life. You have so much inside you to share.I ,also, love the roses that you give.
I think that you are selling yourself short by leaving(IMO)
I just wanted to give my two cents, for what it is worth. Love Ami