This might be my last post--abandonment. I feel somewhat responsible, but--

[isittoolate]

I have never been married so cannot comment on marriage.
I have, therefore never been divorced so cannot comment on divorce.
I can comment on living-in-sin and illegitimacy
My daughter was mine and her father never fought for her, let alone sent a card or a present after I left him, so no custody issues.
My parents are dead and I can only go from memory.
I might have comments now and again, but will be a lurker, as I see my 'shrink' and if there is something really different, I might have another post.

Izzy

[Hopalong]

Well I'll miss you a bunch, Izz.

Your jokes your pictures your flowers your goofy icons.

It might not do much for you, but I am always happy to hear you, even if you're just reporting on a venture to the library.

Don't be a stranger (unless you need to, in which case I respect your choice...)

love
Hops

[CB123]

Bye, Iz!  Come back and visit!

CB

[Ami]

Dear Izzy,
 IMO, you may not have been married, divorced etc,etc but you are a human being with emotions, pains heartaches, laughs and loves. That is what the sharing is about. It is about one person with a heart sharing with another person with a heart.It is not about our having  exactly the same life situations                      . I wish that you would reconsider.                                                        Love Ami

[sea storm]

Hi Dear Izzy:
I am glad to have shared in your journey here. You have put so much of your heart and soul into communicating with us all. I can see that you are laughing more  and feeling more, even if it is painful at times. I think this is coming alive. And Cripse, you are even seeing a therapist to help you navigate toward connection with your daughter. You are pissed off at people who have hurt you and you reach out to people who have been hurt.
You used to talk about feeling numb. You are now one of the least numb people  around.
I left here for awhile and I realize that this space had become my lifeline and my life.  I spent hours and hours here. It was time for me to try to reconnect with life on the outside. It was not a conscious choice but important. I want to come back now after peeling away more layers.

In the process I learned to stop asking why so much, stop blaming other people for all my unhappiness and try to reclaim a bit of happiness for myself. Maybe all my tragedies helped to get me to open my eyes and start  focusing on myself and what I need, who I am and where I want to go.
And Izzy, you ruby cystal emeral girl.  IT IS NEVER TOO LATE.

Lots and lots of love to you,
Sea storm

[lighter]

Ummmm, Izzy, lol.  Are you saying you're bored with all this divorce custody stuff, lol? 

Don't hesitate to comment.  Coming by honest input from people who've experienced N's, is priceless.  You're input has value and is appreciated.  The dynamics at work in the relationships are the same.  Have a good T visit and let us know how it goes.

[debkor]

Izzy,

Oh no!!   I will miss you very much but I understand.   Peek in every now and then give us a shout. 

Love
Deb

[Ami]

Dear Izzy,
  I wanted to write you one more post. I read your old ones and I think that you said that you were an avoidant personality(spelling?). Anyway, I was thinking about that. It would be so easy to let pain take you there.You had more than your share. You had  enough for 100 people.
  You mentioned being disconnected from your feelings,too.
  I am finding that  a key to healing is getting connected to your feelings. One way is to share really honestly and people will uplift you. Then, you can step your toe out little by little. Then ,you start to feel. Today, I can't stop crying,but at least I can feel. I am so happy that I don't feel so numb,anymore.
 Izzy, you have been through  so much life. You have so much inside you to share.I ,also, love the roses that you give.
  I think that you are selling yourself short by leaving(IMO)
  I just wanted to give my two cents, for what it is worth.                           Love Ami
 

[Hopalong]

Me too, Izz.

I accept whatever you choose of course, but I'd like to say that your whole life is interesting to me, and I'd like to keep on hearing about you and learning from you and offering you a friendly ear.

It doesn't have to be a one-issue dialogue, here, right?

Hops

[isittoolate]

hi Hops, Cb, Ami. sea s, lighter and Deb,

from Ami who read old posts--- You mentioned being disconnected from your feelings,too.

Yes, something happened that disconnected me. The therapist thinks from when I was little, but the last time I cried was 1993. That is terrible. It was over my daughter and I haven't cried since. My therapist is not accustomed to this---these heartbreaking things and the 'client' doesn't fill the wastebasket with wet Kleenex.

That's initially why I went to a therapist again, to reconnect, and the main topic would be Ns--and my daughter. Therapist does not like labels, so I use controlling, manipulative, pathological liar and procrastinator.

I told the therapist that any discussion from this point on that mentioned my daughter would only be to fit her into the picture but not analyizng her behaviour. Therapist says/thinks that daughter just cannot find a way to tell me I was right about the man she married, who wrecked her life and maybe the lives of my grandchildren.

I always thought that, so some validation there--BUT, therapist did not know daughter etc.

Hops I asked you once if you know where a woman's 'yet' is and you never told me.

Johnny Cash on TV--Bio

Love to all
Izzy

[Hopalong]

HI Iz!
So glad you popped in...please keep at it.

About the...ummm...is that a trick question? 

I got no idea but I ain't gonna talk dirty.

((((IZZY)))))

Hops

[isittoolate]

Hops

There was a bad free-for-all downtown today. A woman was shot and the bullet is in her yet.

[lighter]

Ummmm, Izz.  What do you meaaaaan by a "free for all" and why the heck did a woman get shot in it? 

And oh ya, how was therapy?

[Hopalong]

Yikers, Izz! Were you nearby?

I am dreaming of an old crush I may get to see this summer...

Mom's declining, the pace is pcking up.

We're being steady and taking it one day at timr.]

nighyy night,
Hops

[Ami]

Dear Izzy,
   I am sorry that you went through that. It is a shock.                              Hugs to you   Ami