I am divorced!

[WRITE]

I went to court this morning and they weren't busy so I saw the judge and he stamped it there and then!

Just organised car insurance, going to go with COBRA for health insurance whilst I research that; any tips gratefully accepted on good plans. It doesn't need to cover mental health costs- I have always funded those independently in order to get better care, in fact my doctors don't take insurance.

Ex was upset when we met this morning but hopefully he'll be okay.

[Ami]

WOW WRITE,
  What a huge day.! You had everything all planned. That is impressive. How do you feel? Do you have a whole range of feelings? Is it like a death or is it freeing-or both?
  You took care of yourself and that is very impressive to me. I am in the 'baby steps' phase.
                                                                                                                 Hugs to you  Ami

[Hopalong]

Wowsers, Write.
Hope the oxygen feels good, hon.

Have you thought of joining a self-employed organization for the group insurance?

Way back, anyone could join the Farm Bureau, even, to get good rates.

Hops

[WRITE]

Thanks Ami.
I felt liek a weight off my shoulders actually, like I am finally in control- whatever happens it's my decision and my responsibility, not someone pulling my strings all the time or dangling carrots and sticks....

Have you thought of joining a self-employed organization for the group insurance?

Way back, anyone could join the Farm Bureau, even, to get good rates.

Thanks Hops.
I'll check it out.
The COBRA is $400 a month 

I'm not worried though, I can afford it for a few weeks whilst I get sorted.

The car insurance was easy- I don't know why ex thought it would be a problem, it's just the same price only in my name.

***

My friend gave me some plants yesterday, told me to start a garden, so I went to get herbs too last night. Rosemary and sage to start.

My son assembled a grill for me yesterday and I got chair pads and a watering can.

I feel like I can start things now, make some permanence, the balcony garden is a symbol because I haven't been able to get started before.

I have been dreading all these things for so long but in the end, it was just that fear holding me back.

I think I told you my ex said 'you'll be dead in a year'? Nope, I won't.

 

[teartracks]

(((((((((((((((((WRITE))))))))))))))))

Blessings and peace be on you as you work your plan and as you transition in this new season of your life.

tt

[Green]

Write,

This is such a powerful statement and such a reflection of how I feel, too, when you said :  "I have been dreading all these things for so long but in the end, it was just that fear holding me back".  I love hearing about the beautiful-full-of-life things you are doing now.  Congratulations on this new chapter in your life!

Green

[lighter]

Ex was upset when we met this morning but hopefully he'll be okay.



[/quote


You;re so nice Write!  I could give a frog's fat ass about my N right now.  Him being upset might  give me warm fuzzies.  ((Write))) So glad your spirits are up. 

[debkor]

Write,

I'm so glad that things are settled.  This is your new life and it sounds exciting with your garden, your car, I'm very happy for you.  Enjoy with peace and happiness. 

Love
Deb

[gratitude28]

((((((((((((((((((write)))))))))))))))))

Your ex may have been right - the OLD you will be dead in a year. In her place is the new and strong YOU who came from that woman!!!!! You are so positive and such a great example to others here. I hope your garden flourishes - literally and figuratively.
Love, Beth

[Confounded]

Good for you, Write!  It's official.  Free at last!  Interesting that in the end, after all the bullying, NH is the one who's upset about the outcome.  Can't see further than his own nose, and when he pretends to all he has to say is more bullying and BS.  Good riddance!  Grow your herbs.  Take your time.  Enjoy your new life!   

[lighter]

I think I told you my ex said 'you'll be dead in a year'? Nope, I won't.

 

That little mosnter. 

My first ex said something equally awful about what I'd be doing to make my house payment when he was gone. 

You sound wonderful though and I enjoyed your excitement vicariously.  I want to be happy planting Rosemary again too.  Thanks for carrying the light up ahead.  It helps me find my way. 

[WRITE]

I only have a moment, but I just howled with laughter at your song and I will certainly make 'kiss this' my theme song too!

Went for dinner with ex because he seemed so down, he was vile to waiters, took all the food, told me I am on my own now etc, cursed loudly then drove me home erratically at 60 mph in a 30 zone.

At one point he said I am moving to California, i just said well i am not so think it through, he said actually i am just being upset.
He thinks acting out is okay.

I was glad to leave and will avoid him for a few days, he'll calm down. Or not.

It just showed me how 'broken' he really is though, how immature and the violent side returns...

I did point out this is why we're not together and I said 'you don't have to act out'.

THANK YOU ALL for your lovely words and for encouraging me every step of the way.

My eyes are shining today and i can't wait for all the wonderful things which i know will happen on the next stages of this incredible journey.

Love love love to you all!         

[Stormchild]

CONGRATULATIONS WRITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sela]

Oh Write!

You will be so much better off without the daily draining depleting health -destroying life-sucking weight of him and his "acting" whatever (even if you might still be in contact for your son's sake-- you're not married to it-- you're separate).

I'm so glad you went all the way and made this final and complete.  He may be upset and all but you are not the reason.  He made his own divorce.

Now you can move on in your life without feeling responsible to or for him.  And you've taught your son what not to put up with!!

Sela

[WRITE]

Thanks Storm!

you've taught your son what not to put up with!!

I just hope he doesn't adopt any of his father's unreasonable behaviours.

Ex seems better too though, more positive.

He cleaned his whole house and is taking a week off work next month.

I looked at my finances last night and they will be fine for this year!

This morning I started out on my balcony with hot tea and evaporated milk, I feel so well and happy. I am so lucky!