My mother also told my wife in that message that she "loved" her and the "new baby" - but left me out. I tried to tell my wife that what was not written was significant - I have had a life of having to "read into" everything my mother says and there is rarely something that passes her lips or keyboard that doesn't have a double meaning.
Picking up on this, sfalken, because it's so important. This is classic N shaming. It's a form of shunning, a type of exclusion, a kind of stealth scapegoating. And there's gaslighting in it, too, because unless you are hanging in with some amazingly perceptive and empathetic people, most people will simply never pick up on the fact that ... somehow, everyone's progress is celebrated... except for yours; ... everyone's health problems are rallied to and advised on... except for yours; ... everyone's accomplishments are praised to the skies... except for yours...
It's a very insidious and toxic pattern, but very real. And usually seems to be the tactic of female bullies in the family and friendship arena, but men are very good at doing this kind of thing at work.
Off thread a little, but I wanted to validate this, because it's a damn lonely and crazymaking place to be. Until you understand what it means; then you can react constructively to it.
