Interesting, revealing info about Narcissists

[reallyME]

I figure, in order to keep discussion limited and focused somewhat on the topic of particular threads, it's best for me to post a few chunks at a time, so I'll do that.  More to come...thanks for comments.  Nice to know we aren't alone in this stuff

~Laura

and God bless, keep and restore X wherever you are.  I do still and have always loved you and wanted you to live long and healthy.  God's love to you.

[Overcomer]

I call this her dissociation face-she looks down with a grimace on her face-and the eyes-mean-but she only does it when we are alone and that is why I only want to talk to her with an audience.

[tayana]

I don't like to talk to my mother alone.  That's when she says something really nasty that make me feel like dirt.

[lighter]

(((Green)))

[axa]

I know that look so well. Used to tell him I hated his "dead eye look" and that was just what it was.  It was so scary would unnerve me.  I think I was looking at pure hatred when he had that look.

Laura,

Think your words about when you rebel against the N they break the mirror.  That just sums it all up for me.  Once the mirror is reflecting the "wonder" of the N it is tolerated but show some truth and the game is to break you.  I remember having a row with XN and pointed out that I am only telling the truth, which he hated, his response was you are holding up a mirror to me and I do not want to see what you are showing me............. ahhhhhhhhh the real truth.

axa

[lighter]

Laura,

Think your words about when you rebel against the N they break the mirror.  That just sums it all up for me.  Once the mirror is reflecting the "wonder" of the N it is tolerated but show some truth and the game is to break you.  I remember having a row with XN and pointed out that I am only telling the truth, which he hated, his response was you are holding up a mirror to me and I do not want to see what you are showing me............. ahhhhhhhhh the real truth.

axa

During the divorce and struggles leading up to it, my N always said that he was just a reflection of me.

I never understood it.

I always took it to be one of those "I have become you, and you have become I" statements.

Not really sure, it was just confusing.

[axa]

Lighter,

Ns seek out others who hold traits etc that they do not possess.  By attaching to such an individual they "claim" these traits as their own.  So if you are generous, they are generous, if you are smart, they are smart but beware when you stop being the idealised one because you then reflect negative emotions and they are perfect and so the war begins.

axa

[reallyME]

Two things caught my eyes in the posts that you all shared:  extensions and talents

X used to say "people are just enhancements" that's all they are."

As far as latching onto you because you have something they don't have, and then ditching you when you dare to point out any negative or appear negative toward them...been there too.  In my case, it involved my musical ability and preaching.  X wanted me to use both in front of her, but when I did, nothing but criticism came forth.  I even taught X to play an instrument, which was VERY SHORT LIVED.  X didn't seem to stick with anything for long.

[lighter]

Axa:

I don't know whether I'm just too simple a creature or what but..... it made me dizzy to read your post and my mind popped before I could make sense of what you said.

I can't make sense of N's.  I can't do it. 

[axa]

ligher,

Maybe that is just it, there is no sense .... they live in a parrallel universe as far as I can see with its own set of rules which change with the wind.

I studied psychology at college and had an understanding of NPD but having lived with it - well the experience was something else.  My rule is never believe them, never trust them, never allow them in.  I think having read Storms post about the sociopath it confirms my own truth and experience.

axa