Yet another commitment hearing for my father

[Gaining Strength]

My father, now diagnosed with NPD among other things, get an attorney to get him out of the hospital ten days ago.  He went into an assisted living arrangement and lasted about 24 hours.  The details are absolutely insane.  I left town last Monday and my oldes brother was left to pick up the pieces.  He is very distraught over the whole thing.

Now my father is in a different hospital and today we face yet another commitment hearing.  It is extraordinarily wearing.

So much has come out in this process.  It is very painful and at the same time very enlightening.

I'll post more later. - Gaining Strength

[bigalspal]

Hi GS,
I'm sorry you are going through this. Let me guess, your NFather A: Thinks NOTHING is wrong with him. B: Thinks you are the EVIL child for putting him in THAT place. C: Would drive everyone there CRAZY if he stayed.
Am I close?
Your friend,
Bigalspal

[pennyplant]

Now everyone else is learning what you had to learn the hard way.  You were nearly destroyed by this man, and no one else and no institution can handle him.  You are an amazing survivor who had to deal with this for years and years.  The only good thing now is the validation.  Validation can be very healing in and of itself.

PP

[Ami]

Dear GS,
   I am so glad that you are being validated. I have not had this ,yet. I can only imagine what a relief it must be.                                                      Love    Ami

[lighter]

Come back and share when you get a chance.  Sorry this is you and your brother are going through this.  ((GS))

[Hopalong]

Ditto PP!

GS, I so agree:
You are an amazing survivor.

Age does bring down Ns and it can be ugly....it's HIS destiny that's unfolding.

So glad to hear from you.

Hops

[Gaining Strength]

This whole thing is simply insane. 

Today at my therpist's office, my little boy was playing a game on a computer, it was a word game sort of like hangman and the phrase was "loonatics abounding".  T and I felt a momentary sense of twilight zone.

The hearing was postponed.  My father has secured an attorney who is ethically challenged.  Even though this man called my brother a week ago to come help because my father had assaulted a nurse at the assisted living facility and then run away, he now is trying to get my father out of the commitment - to go where????  The only motive is so that he can secure more and more fees.  Even the doctor and staff at the new facility caught on to that immediately.

This has become truly a nightmare - a real experience of insanity projected beyond all realms. 

It is true that this process has given me some validation and that certainly has value to me.  Perhaps most significantly it forces me to focus on peace and to bound myself to the belief that things will come to some positive outcome.  The stress of this is indescribable and the only way to survive is by seeking peace and calm at each and every moment.

I've read that Victor Frankl managed to find beauty in the foul food provided as a fish head in unclean water while he survived life in a concentration camp.  If he could do that then he has provided a model for how we all can not only survive but can move out into life as blessing.  I believe he did it and I believe we can do that.  And my current experience is helping me to adapt that mindset.  For that  I am thankful. - GS

[finding peace]

Hi GainingStrength (or as I think of you - Strength),

Just wanted to let you know that I can really empathize with what you are going through with your father.  In the last couple weeks of my father’s life (he had terminal cancer), he completely lost it.  His rages were unbelievable and horrific.  It was so debilitating on so many different levels.  I don't know how I would have handled it had it gone on any longer than it did.

The fact that you now have a lawyer compounding the matters (solely to gain a buck) just adds to the tremendous stress you must already be feeling.

Hang in there. 

(((((((Strength)))))))

[Ami]

Dear GS,
   Thank you for your beautiful words about walking with me. I will "give you my hand".
   I am so sorry about what you are going through with your father. I hate to sound like a downer,but life is just pitiful. That's how it feels right now.
    You sounded strong,though, in the midst of it.
     Am I right? Are you finding that down deep you have depths of strength that you did not know?     
                                                                         Love   Ami

[Overcomer]

G S In a way I am jealous of you.  Sometimes I look at my mom and want her to lose it-to have to be in someone elses control.  Even here at our business trip she complains about feeling invisible-line of like DONT YOU KNOW WHO I AM?  She bad news will be if the lawyer gets him out and he becomes an unbearable burden to you and your bro.  Hang in and maybe your life will finally take a turn for the better!

[lighter]

You said it.... where in the heck is your father going to go if he wins? 

Where does your father's attorney think he'll end up? 

What are the choices and what do you want?

He was committed for a reason, how does that get undone? 

Who's paying for all this and does he have the money to pay an attorney in an ongoing courtbattle?

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this but glad this seems to validate you and how you've been feeling and treated.

My prayers are with you.